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At 7/1/09 05:52 AM, Sinful-Bean wrote: I jack off a lot, my penis is bent towards the left at about a 20 degree angle. But what can I say? I love flogging the dolphin. Sometimes I masturbate upwards of seven or eight times a day. I once got kicked out of the house when I jacked off in my cats eye and blinded the little fucker.

that made my day

delete your memory, act like nothing happened, when she asks about it be like wtf are you smoking?

How old are u ? if youre older than 14, she will understand and she won't mention it

At 7/1/09 04:46 AM, Alpha-Critik wrote:

At 7/1/09 04:41 AM, slapjaw wrote: you suck

NO. YOU SUCK.

Anyway... Your mom has the hots for you - she likes watching you masturbate.

She may be in legion with Ceiling Cat. Watch out for that. :C

Ceiling Cat? Oh my god you fucking own this thread now. Fucking hilarious.

Also, tell she saw nothing and pay her or that oher thing with the honesty and stuff..

Haha fuck you, you got caught!

that is the most awful thing that could ever happen. i feel bad for u.

And that my friends is why you only jerk off if:

a) Your family isn't home.
b) You have a lock on your door.

Dude just tell her that you'd like her to respect your privacy. No reason to be shy about it, it's normal.

My brother actually used to get my mom to buy him K-Y.

There's two things you could have done to prevent this:

A) Do it with the door locked.
B) Do it when nobody is home.

You should only spank it if.

I.) No body is in the house.
II.) You have a lock on your door

At 7/1/09 08:17 AM, iscrulz wrote: You should only spank it if.

I.) No body is in the house.
II.) You have a lock on your door

That was... almost exactly the same as the post I just made.

Great minds wank alike.

You should invest in a door lock because it'll stop situations like these in the future.

I don't think you should really say or do anything other than lock the door the next time.
If you don't say anything about it I highly doubt your mom will say anything to you considering it'd probably be awkward, so just let her forget about it and continue your masturbating routine as normal.

Act like it never happened.

At 7/1/09 02:25 AM, I-RULE-OVER-ALL wrote: Cover your tracks!

erase history and any other things that like you to the porn sites

do nothing, tomorrow your having a very awkward breakfast

next time lock the door

Exactly, beat me to it.

That was an interesting masturbation experience you've had there mate, however, my story will blow your undies off.

So anyway, I was fapping off to a decent porn site, I was drinking coffee at the time, until this bird hit my window because I just used Windex, but in my surprise, I knocked the coffee right on my boner and inside my urethra. It burned like hell, but I still kept going.
Teh Edn.
That's my insane masturbate fable.

Oh, and mom caught me.

At 7/1/09 05:10 AM, iscrulz wrote: Go to therapy to help cope with the shock of getting over it. I jack it to gay S&M porno with my sister and uncle on a weekly basis its our guilty pleasure.

What? What a great way to start off the morning prior to having to read stuff :(

At 7/1/09 09:39 AM, dec-1310 wrote:

At 7/1/09 02:25 AM, I-RULE-OVER-ALL wrote: Cover your tracks!

erase history and any other things that like you to the porn sites

do nothing, tomorrow your having a very awkward breakfast

next time lock the door

Exactly, beat me to it.

Heh, heh. They "beat" you.

Off.

Lock the door next time.

So there I am jerking off to some freaky porn with my balls tied from threads coming of a sleeping bag I have in my closet. I hear a creak of my door. I turn around...and my mom's face is looking through the crack for a split second and then the door closes.

To make a long story short I lost my boner. And yeah...im a sick bastard O.o. And yes, the first thing I did was type on NG, so what should I do? I haven't talked to my mom or anything.

If your parents are nievie enough say you were trying a stress relif system you found on the internet, really not a lie.

I tied a nylon rope around my cock and balls to see how it felt.

newgrounds

XD, that is Newgrounds for you XD

Rape her, its not like you have a choice.

My apologies for not locking this sooner.