Most awkward thing you could say...

[gibleto]

Over the phone while in public? For example, pretend to be on a mobile phone or whatnot, and as somebody walks by, say something really loud and awkward.

Here's mine.

FUCK the meds I haven't taken them in WEEKS and I can still control myself so why don't you stop talking to me like I'm an idiot before I fucking cut your head off with A BUTTER KNIFE!!! AHH!!!

[Lagatag]

"I was making out with this chick last night, when she whispers in my ear trying to be real sexy, 'I bet my dick is bigger than yours.'"

[knightsofthecircle]

I TOOK THE TEST. IT TURNS OUT I TESTED NEGATIVE FOR HIV, ISN'T THAT GREAT!? ARE WE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT? OK, COOL, I'LL BRING THE LOTIONS WHILE YOU BRING THE WHIP AND GAG BALL.

/Caps.

[Qwazal]

At 6/26/09 11:57 PM, gibleto wrote: Over the phone while in public? For example, pretend to be on a mobile phone or whatnot, and as somebody walks by, say something really loud and awkward.

there is a show with many of these sketches called trigger happy tv,
the guy who does these is a comic genious.

[JollySpace]

HADOKEN!

And doing the hand thing.

[CuteAndFuzzy]

"Don't you hate it when you get cum in your pubes?"

[TheSouthernTower]

Look, I'm your third cousin. Its perfectly fine.

[MrNiceGuy]

"Yeah, it still burns down there."

"It's... it's goingt o have to come off?"

*sigh* "Alright. I'll set up an appointment."

"No, I'm O.K., just a little shocked."

It's... it's just... I've only had it for two years."

"I understand. O.K., I'll see you next week. You too. Bye."

[lvl1forever]

thats not awkward
you would have to be having phone sex.

[alfred-ashford-95]

"I once experimented with a friend in summer camp!! SO WHAT?!!"

[XzaLLeNT]

i would use coach hines' threats cuz they da best yo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaSEuLDyQ hw

[Conspiracy3]

"What the fuck are you talking about? If you fucking talk to anyone then you will go down and I will go down too. This is bigger than you. He is dead, there is no bringing him back. Calling cops won't help at all."

I actually said this on the phone and in public. It's not what you think.

[JJgamer93]

Can you hear me now? Good!

People would look at me funny.

[blakemo]

"Yeah at 12 'o clock. Go to the 3rd building on the right, 7th floor room 312. Then look in the office."

Location: Perkasie, Pensylvania. I went there

[Obsessed117]

*male talking to male friend*

Hey man, I just found out we can't have children.

*pull down pants / boxers*

I don't have a vagina

[MissingNYC]

"dont stick up your ass!"
that would be it

[Fezz]

"She just kept screaming so I kept hitting her!"

[mushroomn]

"It wouldn't stop crying so I flushed it, do we need to get a lawyer?"

[duper1012]

"Oh shit! so your saying your younger sister died from my donkey punches!? FUCK and your OTHER sister died when i drop-kicked her down the stairs while i was drunk!? FUCK I NEED TO GO BACK TO THE INSTITUTION!!! I NEED MY MEDS!!!"

[pizza4ever]

" yeah...so last night in bed I had my girl right where i wanted her but in the middle of my orgasm I let out this huge ass fart that made the sheets smell like shit!"

[Chymeraxe]

Epic thread is epic.

Best thing I have is saying you're female to a sex line when you're 11.

[budda121]

if you are a guy...

"jerry? its me ricky.you remember a few days ago when we went at it and i insisted you keep your eyes closed the entire time? well, i have to tell you now.i wasn't wearing a condom, so you might have herpes.look, dont blame me, my mom couldn't get me some rubbers when she went to costco, and i didn't want to pass up on our weekly meetings.well you know what, FUCK YOU, WERE THROUGH!!!'

[silentisdeath16]

I bet i can pop that girls cherry with my middle finger

[Krbyfan1]

"Why of course I would marry a cartoon character. People do it all the time."

[Imaku]

"What? He's got the money? Ugh, Lenny... So, what about the blow-up dolls, are they still there? Wait, what? No, no, I thought we left him in New York... Wait, wait wait... *whispers loud enough you can still hear*So, um yeah, there's this guy over here, he's trying to pretend that he's not listening to us, but it's obvious he is, so I think you need to get the shovel... Oh wait, shit,*/whispers* um, how's Aunt Marie, mother? Good, good..."

[Armerad]

"I found my dildo, so are we on for tonight or what? You bring the chains, I'll bring the plugs. I love you too Mom."

[Ragenaric]

"So I was watching BME Pain Olympics the other day, heres what happens..."
"...but overall I thought it was strangely sexy."

[bagle]

"Yeah last night was great. Yeah you fit the whole thing in your mouth, huh? Yeah, you're a bad girl. I didn't know I could do that with my tongue either! Oh tonight it's gonna be MUCH harder, hopefully I break your legs again like last time. Okay. You too. Love you mom bye."

[bagle]

At 6/27/09 01:32 AM, Armerad wrote: "I found my dildo, so are we on for tonight or what? You bring the chains, I'll bring the plugs. I love you too Mom."

Damn, you beat me to it. I wasn't ripping off you my internet is slow so I was only half way down, I didn't see the last six or so comments. My bad. Yours is still priceless.

[bagle]

Nobody else has any good ones?