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Stranger: Hello.
You: Holy shit somebody here knows how to capitalize.
Stranger: Holy shit somebody here knows how to write complete sentences
You: Holy shit we're getting married. Let's go to Iowa considering that statistically speaking you are most likely a man.
Stranger: statistically your correct
You: It's "you're" God dammit. I want a divorce
Stranger: I don't have to capitalize everything do I?
Stranger: thats fine, I only married you for the money.
You: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: So far this is turning out like all my of relationships
Stranger: I thought I knew you.
You: You're a gold digger
You: You brought this upon yourself.
Stranger: I can't help it, I love women and money.
Stranger: I also love whiskey.
You: I'm a dude.
Stranger: I figured as much.
You: But I agree with those things.
You: One day I'll combie them all
Stranger: Yeah if only I could combine sex, eating, shitting and sleeping all into one activity. I will be in heaven.
You: I frequently do.
Stranger: Do you have a word for it yet?
You: I call it "obesity".
Stranger: Ha, I like it
Stranger: I get it into the oxford dictionary asap
You: Do you know the fine chaps at the Oxford?
Stranger: only by reputation
Stranger: Because I often send them death threats.
Stranger: For not letting me into thier school.
You: Ah.
You: Father always said, "When life gives you lemons, threaten their families."
You: Then he took away my television.
You: And boy did that end up being ironic.
Stranger: father always told me laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis
You: I forgot that I was only supposed to threaten them though.
You: My father's family definitely was not laughing enough then
You: I tried to pick up the slack for them but I guess it's not transferable.
Stranger: So far this has been the most rewarding converstation of the day
Stranger: Thank you kindly sir
You: You're quite welcome.
You: Now when do we move on to the rape and cannibalism?
Stranger: Saturdays
Stranger: and.... holidays
You: I see.
You: I will return on those days in the future.
Stranger: We will see you next presidents day then
Stranger: Until then

Oh hey guy I just talked to.

LOLZ

You: hi
You: I wonder.
Stranger: %uFF1F
You: THis machine tells us to say hi, and we do it without thought.
You: Who is in control, then?
You: Man
You: or machine.
Stranger: girl
You: Fuck.
Stranger: ?
You: I have to build a fallout shelter.
You: brb
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lol i feel like a jerk. I typed in #@$! off to everyone before we said hi. Then i waited for someone to he/she to say something, then i pressed enter and disconnected. I like this site.

I wonder if she believed any of this.

Stranger: do u kno funnyjunk.com?
You: yus
You: do u
Stranger: yea, wat ur username
You: i luv playing wif my penis
You: sometimes when i suk my dik it gets hrd
You: i am only 9 yrs old
Stranger: sometimes?
You: n my mom says i am vry smrt
Stranger: im hard always
You: whn i grow up i wil bcum president
You: r u hrd rite now
Stranger: yea, everyday
You: bcuz wen im hrd i usuly rub it n its maeks it betr
Stranger: i need pron though
You: i think im gay cuz i gt arousnd by older men
You: wen i see n old man i get hrd
You: how old r u
Stranger: ok, u wanna c somthing cool
You: yus
Stranger: im 25
Stranger: clownsong.com
Stranger: check it out
You: i wil thnx
You: r u on it
Stranger: yea
You: col i wnt 2 met up wif u
You: u sem cool
Stranger: u seem gay
You: u sem hot
You: so wut if im gay
You: i lik oldr men
You: i wil suk ur dik
Stranger: ok, id love tht
You: i wudnt evn chrg u
Stranger: even better
You: yus it is
You: wut wud u do 2 me
You: 2 plesur me
Stranger: idk, anything u want
You: wut u shov a ketchup botl up my poop hol nd eat da ketchup?
Stranger: no, it depends on how good u suck mi cock
You: i wud suk ur cok so gud
You: do u lik 9 nine yr old boys?
Stranger: not really, it's a first
You: oh rly i tink u'll enjoy it
You: my dad did when he put his hand in my but
Stranger: one problem
You: wuts dat
Stranger: im a girl
You: oh
You: fuk u bitch make me a sandwich women are the seeds of evil and should be treated like dogs
Stranger: ooook, thts not nice
You: fucking cunt you shouldn't be on the interne
You: t
You: your brain isn't big enough
Stranger: arn't u 9 yrs old
You: your like a fucking four year old
You: no bitch i aint nine fuck outta here
You: you whore
Stranger: watch the language
You: you fucking cunt you are the burden of the white man
You: you watch your vagina
You: bitch
You: I LOVE YOU
Stranger: huh???
You: LOOK IM REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I JUST SAID
You: IM IN A REALLY DARK TIME RIGHT NOW
Stranger: where'd tht come from
You: my wife just left me so i've been a bit moody
You: the whole nine year old thing was just a bit i did because i work with the police
Stranger: how old r u
You: im supposed to crack down on child molesters
You: i am 37
Stranger: r u gonna b ok
You: i hope so
Stranger: geez, with an attitude like tht ur wife isn't commin bac
You: im sorry i haven't taken the divorce lightly
You: i wasn't like that before
You: i used to be happy really nice and friendly recently though things just haven't been the same
Stranger: i can see tht
You: thanks for understanding
Stranger: ooook, so how many molesters u caught
You: not many it's pretty hard to do
Stranger: ok
Stranger: im gonna go now
You: alright bye
You: it was nice talking to you
You: sorry about my temper
Stranger: yeah, me too?
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Shortest one I've had yet.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Can you say the alphabet with a dick in your mouth?
Stranger: you have no life
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: sami da
You: Im a bot lol.
Stranger: kori desu ka?
You: oh great different language
Stranger: bots type very quick you are not a bot

This is sort of fun.

The view count of this topic is just wrong.. What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Rape.
Stranger: what?
You: Rape.
Stranger: where are you from?
You: Rape.

Stranger: dúvidas sobre sexo? pergunte ao peao!
You: What the fuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Interesting...

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: I has penis now?
Stranger: so
You: PENIS
You: YOU HAVE IT?
Stranger: no
You: Well that's a shame.
Stranger: but i have the vagina
You: I take it.
Stranger: what?
You: I take your vagina?

Stranger: haha
You: PLEASE?
Stranger: come on
You: I am coming on. TO YOU.
You: So, vagina or not?
Stranger: are you american
You: Bolivian
Stranger: wow
You: YESH
Stranger: %u5E79%u4F60%u5A18%u6A5F%u63B0
You: Ah yes, Japanese, the language of love.
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: its chinese
You: FUCK
You: >:(
Stranger: fuck your ass hole
You: Fuck it deep.
Stranger: %u4F60%u5A18%u8001%u6A5F%u63B0
Stranger: %u770B%u4E0D%u61C2
Stranger: %u54C8%u54C8%u54C8
You: Talk dirty to me more.
Stranger: what do you want?
You: Your soul.
Stranger: I not too can meet your need
You: OH
You: WELL THEN
You: VAGINA NOW
Stranger: Dies abnormal
You: Indeed
Stranger: Trades you Arab League
You: Quite, quite.
Stranger: so
You: SEX NOW IN THE ELEVATOR WITH HANDCUFFS
Stranger: You are a %u9951 thirsty man
You: Indeed.
Stranger: Side goes to the self-consolation
You: Mmhmm
Stranger: %u5E79
You: OH GOD YES
Stranger: you did it?
You: KEEP GOING

ROFL

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I have had a cat lick my genitals until I orgasmed when I was 11 years old. -_-
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Iunno, here's another random one:

You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: hello
You: B
Stranger: hellow~;;
You: B
Stranger: ?
You: do you have any cats?
You: B
Stranger: no
Stranger: i have dog
You: it's Q now
You: Q
You: do you like the color orange?
Stranger: hmm....soso
You: ugh
You: thanks a lot
You: now its Y
You: Y
You: I hate Y
You: so make it quick
You: do you have any condoms?
You: Y
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The Game
Stranger: O Adriano, ta me ouvindo?
You: El Juego
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fun.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Rape.
You: RApe.
You: RAPe.
You: RAPE.
You: The rape has been completed.
You: Congratulations, you were raped.
Stranger: fuck u man
You: Rape.
You: I cannot be fucked.
You: I only rape.
You: I am all that is rape.
You: I am all that will be rape.
Stranger: fuck u man
Stranger: go hell
You: Rape.
Stranger: fuck ur monther
Stranger: and ur sister
You: I don't fuck my mother, or my sister.
You: I rape them.
You: Come on. I need more rape.
Stranger: show me ur photo
Stranger: just a link
You: Very well. Allow me to retreieve a picture of my embodiment.
Stranger: be quick pls
You: I am trying.
You: This is my final form.
You: http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/
images/8/81/Gonna_get_raped_cat.PNG
Stranger: ok
You: As you see. I am the embodiment of rape.
Stranger: i will go and see
Stranger: fuck u
Stranger: just a raped cat
You: Yes.
You: This is my final form.
Stranger: i dont like cat
You: Well, I am a cat.
You: That rapes.
You: I do not think you understand the gravity of what I am.
You: I AM LORD OF RAPE.
You: Good day to you, sir.
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heeeey
You: Child, It is I God.
Stranger: oh, well im chuck norris.
Stranger: so its cool
You: I has come to my attention of the wrong doing gnawing your soul.
Stranger: mmmmm
You: I want to hear it for you.
Stranger: i like cheez its, and mac n cheese, and chocolate milk.
You: Repent for I am the Light,Life and Savior
Stranger: i think you're lying
You: The Day of Judgement is nigh, Shall you be in My Ranks?
Stranger: if you're god, then why are you on omegle
You: Because I am God.
You: Are you choosing the Opossite End of the Great Conflict?
Stranger: i don't see any confllict
You: I'll have you now child, for everything that meets the end of my Sword is Fiery Death
You: Cock juk
Stranger: you have no dick
You: lolololol
You: I am God. God is a boy's name.
Stranger: yeah right
Stranger: only if youre like jewish
Stranger: lul
Stranger: are you jewish
You: Mormon my son.
Stranger: so drinking coffee is a sin?
Stranger: DO YOU BEAT YOUR WIfE?
You: I am God
You: I can do all
You: Even wifebeating
Stranger: i bet youre like that creepy guy that no one talks to and you have no friends
Stranger: in that case, i feel bad for you
You: Actually...
You: It was from my friends I learned about this place
Stranger: me too
Stranger: but...youre still kinda creepy
You: God is creepy
You: I'll have you now that
Stranger: your name really isnt god
You: No shit Einstein
Stranger: calm down
You: hahaha...
Stranger: you're cool
Stranger: not really
You: kay
Stranger: are you a homosexual?
Stranger: you sound like one
Stranger: just sayin
You: it depends...
Stranger: SRS?
Stranger: gaaay
You: I just told I was god a minute ago.
You: you're really gullible if you believe I am gay
Stranger: and i'm chuck norris. i swim through land. even jesus and god cant do that
You: Bruce Lee killed you
Stranger: bruce lee did your mom
You: Mom's death,,
Stranger: everyone says that
You: What if it is true?
Stranger: what if its not?
You: You never know when they'll be gone forever.
You: Remember:
You: No matter how you feel...
You: Always tell them:
You: I love you
You: ..
Stranger: are you high?
You: Yes
Stranger: cute
You: Very, very high
Stranger: thats nice
Stranger: you're a nice kid.
You: I am a girl
You: >:<
Stranger: yeah right
Stranger: are you a ginger?
You: You fancy gingers?
Stranger: no. gingers have no souls
You: Gingers are hot
Stranger: if you like firecrotches
You: I do.
Stranger: you're creepy
Stranger: we've been over this
You: Creepy
Stranger: yeaauh
You: Sadly, I don't creep. I walk
Stranger: that made no sense
Stranger: gtfo ginger
You: Whoever said I was ginger
Stranger: i did
Stranger: chuck norris knows all
You: Chuck Norris doesn't now the meaning of all life.
Stranger: he does
Stranger: you're in denial
You: Then spill it genius.
Stranger: i dont like your attitude
Stranger: go to bed
Stranger: its past your bedtime
You: I have no bed
You: I am a hobo
Stranger: how are you on a computer then jackass
You: I stole it
Stranger: thats cute
You: So are stray dogs.
Stranger: i like dogs
You: Dogs are overrated
Stranger: god is overrated
You: YOU are overrated
Stranger: thanks ;]
You: A winner is you
Stranger: i am a winner
Stranger: youre just retarded
You: Us retard hobokin will overthrow normalkin.
Stranger: you definetly are that creepy kid that no one talks to
You: Nah, I am just high.
Stranger: like the sky
You: The sky doesn't exist
Stranger: NEITHER DO YOU
You: it's only you staring into the infinity of space, blanketed by the atmosphere's noble gases.
Stranger: thanks for that
Stranger: creepy kid
Stranger: im pretty sure this has been the longest omegle conversation i have ever had
Stranger: props
You: Cooll Story Brah
Stranger: yeah fersure
You: You're black
Stranger: nah
You: An I am just a figment of the Internet.
Stranger: youre asian
You: Asian?
Stranger: did i stutter?
You: You creepy kid...
Stranger: hahaha complete opposite son
You: Well, this has certainly been a complete waste of time.
Stranger: same to me
Stranger: thanks for being my longest omegle convo ever though
You: WINNAR
Stranger: werrdd.
You: You still here?
Stranger: chyeeuh
Stranger: are you?
You: Go on son, go tell her you love her.
You have disconnected.

It's kind of fun when you act weird.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Moby Dick has a Moby Penis.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I went there to terrorize some pedos.

Ironically, I collided into a 4channer.

Holy Crap

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: hi
Stranger: f/m?
You: f
Stranger: from?
You: Newyork
Stranger: cool
Stranger: how old are you
Stranger: ?
Stranger: ^^
You: 14
Stranger: u have msn?
You: yes]
Stranger: can give me?
Stranger: i add u~
You: no
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: why?
You: how old r u
Stranger: 18
Stranger: can give me?
Stranger: ?
You: no
You: u pedo
Stranger: you want to see my dick?
You: no
Stranger: Your hymen has the breakage?
You have disconnected.

I love fucking with people on Omegle.

It's especially hilarious when you cyber with them, and then say that you're from the FBI.

aww no fun!!

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: u want sucky sucky for $2?
Stranger: no thanks:)

Stranger: i'm so wet right now
You: lol me too
Stranger: did you pee your pants too?
You: nah shaved my sac
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

scared him/her away.

Yeah, I'm not really in the mood for rape right now, maybe later.

this one i think is the best...........

Stranger: NAKED?
You: yepp
You: you>?
Stranger: cha
Stranger: male or female
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Falcon PUNCH!

ONE HIT KO!

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello!
You: Howdy.
Stranger: Are you an easily fooled 12 year old girl?
You: Indeed I am. ;)
Stranger: great.
Stranger: Wanna see my snake
You: Sure, can I take it up the pooper?
Stranger: What the fuck
Stranger: I was asking you if you wanted to see my pet boa
Stranger: Sicko
Your conversational partner has disconnected

lolwut?

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: HI
Stranger: from?
You: Yeah, I'm trying to make the world's fastest chat....so
You: I guess this is goodbye?
Stranger: hehe ~~~
Stranger: lol~~
Stranger: u choose
You: DAMNIT I MISSED THE RECORD BY 7 LINES!!!
You: Thanks A lot
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi
You: I'm not in the mood to talk. So if we can cut to the sex, thatd be great.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No fun at all.

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

YES I beat the record!!!