People ask what Religion I am...

[Seatbeltnazi]

And I reply 'Whatever religion suits my needs at the moment.'

Discuss witty replys.

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

One time a guy asked me to get in his car and help him find his lost puppy. I said no and then I stabbed him in the jugular.

[TheStonePilot]

At 6/2/09 10:05 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: One time a guy asked me to get in his car and help him find his lost puppy. I said no and then I stabbed him in the jugular.

Oh man, you should've aimed for the heart. It's funny watching them scream and then get slowly quieter and quieter...

Some guy once told me I was going to hell unless I became a mormon. I punched him in the face.
My fist supplies all the replies I need.

[nightlyillusion]

Eh religion, its killing me right now, but im not going to give up what i was taught to believe. Every time someone asks me what my religion is and I tell them they start asking all these questions, and some are really stupid -_-

[Podburrys]

"Blueberry."

Then simply walk away.

[Bigbaddragon]

At 6/2/09 09:58 PM, Seatbeltnazi wrote: And I reply 'Whatever religion suits my needs at the moment.'

Discuss witty replys.

How is this witty?

It's almost as bad as saying "your mom" as a comeback.

[somemember]

I usually ask them why they want to know, get in a 15-minute debate about it, and then leave without ever telling them.

[GiantDouche]

That makes no sense at all. You are not witty. You are more like, fucking retarded.

[yurgenburgen]

At 6/2/09 10:07 PM, TheStonePilot wrote: Some guy once told me I was going to hell unless I became a mormon. I punched him in the face.
My fist supplies all the replies I need.

I have a feeling you're going to be a particular nuisance around here.

Anyway, if anyone asks what religion I am I tell them the truth; Atheist. Sometimes it causes looks of abject horror because they think it means I worship the devil.

[Egarewop]

At 6/2/09 10:05 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: One time a guy asked me to get in his car and help him find his lost puppy. I said no and then I stabbed him in the jugular.

but my puppy really was lost! you wouldn't believe how many stitches i had to get for that wound!

[cHunter]

At 6/2/09 10:07 PM, TheStonePilot wrote: Some guy once told me I was going to hell unless I became a mormon. I punched him in the face.
My fist supplies all the replies I need.

You should've invited him to a black mass you were going to be holding later that evening.

[Proottalfain]

"Why are you assuming I am part of a religion? DON'T YOU THINK I CAN MOTHERFUCKING THINK ON MY OWN, HUH?!?!?!?!?!"

And then, if the person apologizes and asks what I believe in, I'll say "Physicalism"

And then if they ask what it is, I'll explain it.

[Stretchysumo]

An atheist.

[kbpyrokb]

cheick kongo

[6r0undZ3r0]

I usually say, "I don't have one"

It's so clevar!

[bodom-child]

whats this worship business? some kind of spiritual world stuff? something about ghosts?
i came out of my mom, who was banged by my dad, how the world was created is none of my business, whoever's was in charge of it did whatever it did, I don't know who the creator is as no one has ever seen an actual being that is it. i do know that every person who has expressed an opinion on whatever this creator person is has done so inside of somewhere that humans constructed, every building where this "creator" is discussed, is done by people in funny clothes in big strange buildings, or its done by some indian chief talking about Nah-too-si or whatever, its all basically people trying to tell other people how to live their life in a good way.

[Wuggawoot]

Cthulhuism.

[Maverick-Alex]

"Let's just leave it at Christianity."

[FriedSquirrelBits]

The only one.

[Leidolfr]

I say I worship Frankenberry, and then I say I AM frankenberry, and I run away screaming while stripping off my clothes

[kbpyrokb]

romani