I was cycling down a road trying to find a shortcut home when I was assaulted by a herd of ravenous sheep. My only option for survival was to retreat into the dark forest that stood before me.
I wandered for what seemed like eons damning myself for not taking the long way and longing for the time when I would be reunited with Team Fortress 2, but accepting that I would probably never see any of my video games again.
Luckily all those Chuck Norris sayings and Stallone movies payed off and I successfully conquered nature and her obstacles, killing armies of small rodents and eating their babies, but at the cost of the very thing that separated man from beast.
When they found me eventually I was cooking a live bear with my iPod and pleasing Thor with my own blood.
I was lost for about 20 minutes by the way.