Be a Supporter!
Burnzoid
Burnzoid
  • Member since: Dec. 14, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 18
Blank Slate
Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:16 PM Reply

I scored last night NG, I scored large.

I could smell it was going to be a productive evening. I had already made sure extra care was taken into my outfit and hair, making sure it was slick to a fine finish. Of course because I'm naturally sexy inside and outside, it's something I don't really have a problem with, nothing you nerds will understand, jacking off in your basement to WoW porn. DAYM.

Anyhow, I had made my way to the club, and spied up some fine ass in the corner, with their big titties and such I was immediately drawn to them. (There's a reason they call me the 'Titty Monster')

Now don't get me wrong guys, but I love a good challenge. The thrill of the chase you might say. Nothing gets me hotter than a girl playing hard to get, but seriously, these girls put out faster than a nun in a graveyard. Shits hot yo.

So after some dancing (grinding), and some drinks, we headed back to mine. It was a interesting cab journey. Lots of hands were travelling places, inserting into holes and crevices. Half the time I couldn't even get the fucking bottle open.

After tipping the cabbie £4 and a kiss on the cheek, we made our way to my boudoir of love, only the best treatment for my classy dames of course. A nice double bed, some porn mags and dvd's, and a couple of toys and lube, everything we would need for the night. I didn't even need to hint at the fact, the bitches were eager.

Fucked it, sucked it, and then jizzed on it. Thrice.

The next morning I woke up early while they were still asleep, and left a note stating: "Cheers for last night", and a pound coin on top. I then proceeded to leave, only to realise a few moments after closing the door that it was my own house.

WHOOPS.


I did it for the lulz:

BBS Signature
tatsumaru7
tatsumaru7
  • Member since: Jun. 12, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 10
Animator
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:20 PM Reply

Loooooool I like your style sir!


>>> Relationship advice! <<< Follow my Instagram: the_imaginary_boy

PSN I.D. Ninjakilla777Martial Artist club!

BBS Signature
LethalLockdown
LethalLockdown
  • Member since: May. 28, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:20 PM Reply

You've restored my faith in the bbs....A winner is you!


Fuck chris hanson!

BBS Signature
Oliver
Oliver
  • Member since: Sep. 22, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 24
Melancholy
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:23 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:16 PM, Burnzoid wrote: I woke up early while they were still asleep,

You dog you...

Melkarid
Melkarid
  • Member since: Apr. 23, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 16
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:25 PM Reply

Epicness has filled the BBS.

Sneak-a-Toke
Sneak-a-Toke
  • Member since: Apr. 30, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 14
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:26 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:16 PM, Burnzoid wrote:

:I then proceeded to leave, only to realise a few moments after closing the door that it was my own house.

Hahaha.
Nice story, the ending really did it for me. XD


Steal, borrow, refer, save your shady inference II Kangaroo done hung the juror with the innocent

The Stoner's Club

BBS Signature
HellboundNinja
HellboundNinja
  • Member since: Dec. 19, 2000
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 34
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:37 PM Reply

the only thing that could make this better is if you had fucked em with a penicorn plush doll from the Newground.com store....posted some b00bs and Gotthefuckout


BBS Signature
Ericho
Ericho
  • Member since: Sep. 21, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 43
Movie Buff
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:51 PM Reply

Well, nice that you got some action, but you put it off in a style that made you look like a rapist, or at least that's what it seemed to me.


You know the world's gone crazy when the best rapper's a white guy and the best golfer's a black guy - Chris Rock

ChemicalReaper
ChemicalReaper
  • Member since: Apr. 19, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 20
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 04:53 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:16 PM, Burnzoid wrote: I scored last night NG, I scored large.

I stopped believing your story after that sentence.

Of course because I'm naturally sexy inside and outside, it's something I don't really have a problem with...

And started to disbelieve your story even further after that sentence.

Anyhow, I had made my way to the club, and spied up some fine ass in the corner, with their big titties and such I was immediately drawn to them. (There's a reason they call me the 'Titty Monster')

And now you're just making shit up.

...seriously, these girls put out faster than a nun in a graveyard.

As does your mum.

So after some dancing (grinding), and some drinks, we headed back to mine.

Mein House. It's probably some shithole in the middle of nowhere, but everyone is too drunk to realise.

After tipping the cabbie £4 and a kiss on the cheek, we made our way to my boudoir of love

Wait... you kissed the cabbie on the cheek? And then the cabbie followed you to your shithole? You fucken' weirdo!

Fucked it, sucked it, and then jizzed on it. Thrice.

Yeah, and that was just the keyhole. Before you even got INSIDE the house!

The next morning I woke up early while they were still asleep, and left a note stating: "Cheers for last night", and a pound coin on top.

OK, I know the economy is all downhill and stuff, but seriously? A one pound coin between them? That's just fucking cheap.


Clicky, clicky!
^ No seriously; your mouse will thank you for it :D

Burnzoid
Burnzoid
  • Member since: Dec. 14, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 18
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:01 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:53 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
propaganda.

All true sir.


I did it for the lulz:

BBS Signature
BananaBreadMuffin
BananaBreadMuffin
  • Member since: Jul. 8, 2003
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 41
Audiophile
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:11 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:53 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
At 5/31/09 04:16 PM, Burnzoid wrote: Of course because I'm naturally sexy inside and outside, it's something I don't really have a problem with...
And started to disbelieve your story even further after that sentence.

If you'd met him you'd eat your words

jack231
jack231
  • Member since: Sep. 2, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:11 PM Reply

riveting tale, old chap.

Sex Tale #2325


PRICES SO LOW, WE'RE THROWING THEM OUT THE WINDOW!

BBS Signature
HellboundNinja
HellboundNinja
  • Member since: Dec. 19, 2000
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 34
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:12 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 04:53 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
At 5/31/09 04:16 PM, Burnzoid wrote: I scored last night NG, I scored large.
I stopped believing your story after that sentence.
The next morning I woke up early while they were still asleep, and left a note stating: "Cheers for last night", and a pound coin on top.
OK, I know the economy is all downhill and stuff, but seriously? A one pound coin between them? That's just fucking cheap.

for the fucking win
that first reply made me laugh hard then i have in a few years on the bbs
id watch this guy
hes my next vote for curupted mod


BBS Signature
OneWordName
OneWordName
  • Member since: Jul. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 16
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:17 PM Reply

And every year, on the last day of May, we shall celebrate this epic story with drinks and tales to be heard by all!

I mean, cool story, man.

Derp.

TheTrooper5
TheTrooper5
  • Member since: Feb. 29, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 22
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:36 PM Reply

Who else but Burnzoid!

lawlmaster
lawlmaster
  • Member since: Jun. 30, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 29
Gamer
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:38 PM Reply

Reminds me of the Johnny Rocketfingers fellow.


A spear in your chest and a fire in your ass. I only play as Scorpion in MK games, because I'm that much of a fanboy.

BBS Signature
Ryuzaki1
Ryuzaki1
  • Member since: Aug. 13, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Gamer
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:40 PM Reply

I dont know what it is... but he's got it!


BBS Signature
Sysko
Sysko
  • Member since: Apr. 26, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 09
Audiophile
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:45 PM Reply

If you're "naturally sexy inside," then why did you need porn, lube and toys?

igott
igott
  • Member since: Dec. 30, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 16
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:47 PM Reply

Needs moar detail on the sex scene.


What a shame, Mister Jensen.
I never asked for this, Mister Denton.

ChemicalReaper
ChemicalReaper
  • Member since: Apr. 19, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 20
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:50 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 05:47 PM, igott wrote: Needs moar detail on the sex scene.

God no. This egocentric bastard would just mention how he took them 'like a stallion'.

If you come back in 9 months and say "oh shit I have four kids!" then I will laugh out fucking loud.


Clicky, clicky!
^ No seriously; your mouse will thank you for it :D

Sysko
Sysko
  • Member since: Apr. 26, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 09
Audiophile
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 05:54 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 05:50 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
If you come back in 9 months and say "oh shit I have four kids!" then I will laugh out fucking loud.

You are aware that this is all a big joke, right?

As Peter Griffin would say, "heh heh heh heh heh, heh heh heh heh, heh heh heh heh heh, Joke's on you!"
Burnzoid
Burnzoid
  • Member since: Dec. 14, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 18
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 06:00 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 05:50 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
At 5/31/09 05:47 PM, igott wrote: Needs moar detail on the sex scene.
God no. This egocentric bastard would just mention how he took them 'like a stallion'.

If you come back in 9 months and say "oh shit I have four kids!" then I will laugh out fucking loud.

Why so much hate bro?


I did it for the lulz:

BBS Signature
HellboundNinja
HellboundNinja
  • Member since: Dec. 19, 2000
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 34
Blank Slate
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 06:26 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 05:54 PM, Sysko wrote:
At 5/31/09 05:50 PM, ChemicalReaper wrote:
If you come back in 9 months and say "oh shit I have four kids!" then I will laugh out fucking loud.
You are aware that this is all a big joke, right?

As Peter Griffin would say, "heh heh heh heh heh, heh heh heh heh, heh heh heh heh heh, Joke's on you!"

WTF cralled up your cock tube guy...this be the interweb...this shit is for reals


BBS Signature
Sysko
Sysko
  • Member since: Apr. 26, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 09
Audiophile
Response to Sex Tale #2325 May. 31st, 2009 @ 06:31 PM Reply

At 5/31/09 06:26 PM, HellboundNinja wrote:
WTF cralled up your cock tube guy...this be the interweb...this shit is for reals

Suuuure it is.

*winks* ;)