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Dicks in my face!

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Elios
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Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:39:08 Reply

I got a problem you guys, and i need help.

My next door neighbor, Richard, is a Catholic priest, and i respect him, but he's the bible-thumping type. He's mean, and nothing is ever perfect, and he's always harassing me when i walk by. I honestly wish i could ignore this guy, but he is constantly yelling at people/things.

Anyway, he has recently started going door to door with his gang of nuns, handing out various fliers and pocket bibles to get people to come to the church down the street. I told him i have no interest in religion, and this is the response i got:

"Oh, not interested huh? What are you, and fucking JEW!? You're a JEW aren't ya!? One of those plane flying baby killing JEWS!!!"

The nuns next to him just looked blankly at my screen door as this priest, a Catholic priest, blew the fuck up in my face.

I gotta find a solution to get this guy to leave me alone. He's crazy, but he's a priest.


Do what now...?

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XtremeofParanoia
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:40:23 Reply

File a complaint of harassment. That should get him out of your face.

HeavyMetalGuy
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:41:49 Reply

What an asshole. Tell him to fuck off.


I have no interest in religion either.
TheSilverGuitar
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:42:22 Reply

I think we know what to get him for Christmassssss

A subscription to the Mel Gibson fan club!

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Khris
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:43:12 Reply

tell him to stop fucking his choir boys

SirCrispy
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:44:27 Reply

just tell him on Sundays, your busy on NG posting in the BBs about crazy priest, that should confuse him.
unless he's on NG!

Khris
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:45:25 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:44 PM, SirCrispy wrote: just tell him on Sundays, your busy on NG posting in the BBs about crazy priest, that should confuse him.
unless he's on NG!

everyone's a suspect

LocoJoe
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:45:43 Reply

go to church on sunday with a shirt with an arrow pointing to the left and saying "he loves the chior boys a lil much" and stand to the right of him


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RandomExploit
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:46:02 Reply

Stab him with a Sikh Khanda.

Then roll him over with the wheel of Dharma.

Then decapitate him with an Islamic crescent.


BLU Wins
UNFUNNY TF2 PUN OR SOMETHING HERE

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Shaun
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:46:24 Reply

I can see where your coming from, but he has some valid points. Jew.


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warshark
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:48:29 Reply

I was expecting a thread about rape.

Disapointed

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RubberTrucky
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:48:29 Reply

Yeah, I've got the same problem. My friend Mike's neighbour is hardcore atheist. He keeps harassing peopl in the street insulting them that they are idiots to believe in God. So he hands out flyers to everyone which says that all religious people are insane terrorists and he even filed complaints against a group of children for singing what he called mind wiping terrorist chants, which were just childrens songs. I don't even know how these songs were related to religion and all.

One day he threatened to punch my friend's face in so he could see if his God was going to save him. And my friend isn't even religious.


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LethalLockdown
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:48:51 Reply

Buy a lab coat ,ketchup,a voice box, and some gloves. Cover the lab coat and gloves in the ketchup then when he combes by again open the door and use the voice box to sound like satan to say"SORRY FATHER I WAS JUST DOING SOME FREE LATE TERM ABORTIONS!".....He'll either leave you alone or throw holy water on you.


Fuck chris hanson!

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frencho
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:51:26 Reply

grab a bunch of friends, go to his home, and yell stuff about Buda.Stuff like:
"YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN BUDA? YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING BUUURN IN HEELL!"
"SCREW JESUS, BUDA IS THE REAL GOD!"
"BUDA LOVES YOU, JESUS IS FAKE, AND EVERYTHING HE TOLD YOU WAS LIES!"
that should:1)Screw everything up.
2)Shut his ass up.

Coleco
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:51:50 Reply

tell him there is no god

SteveGuzzi
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:51:55 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:39 PM, Elios wrote: "Oh, not interested huh? What are you, and fucking JEW!? You're a JEW aren't ya!? One of those plane flying baby killing JEWS!!!"

Are you shitting me?

What church in Buffalo does this Richard priest guy belong to?


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Alchemist94
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:52:48 Reply

So you're on newgrounds huh? Yeah it's me, your 'crazy priest' neighbor! How dare you talk shit about me! You fucking jew!

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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:53:40 Reply

Three solutions.

1. Throw something large/pointy at his head.
2. Restraining order.
3. Have a big gay guy come to his door wearing nothing but a red thong, gay guy sodomizes priest. Don't know what that will accomplish, but it'll be hella funny to watch!


Prayed like a father dusk to dawn. Beg like a hooker all night long.
Tempted the devil with my song. And got what I wanted all along....

Proottalfain
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:54:21 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:48 PM, RubberTrucky wrote: Yeah, I've got the same problem. My friend Mike's neighbour is hardcore atheist. He keeps harassing peopl in the street insulting them that they are idiots to believe in God. So he hands out flyers to everyone which says that all religious people are insane terrorists and he even filed complaints against a group of children for singing what he called mind wiping terrorist chants, which were just childrens songs. I don't even know how these songs were related to religion and all.

One day he threatened to punch my friend's face in so he could see if his God was going to save him. And my friend isn't even religious.

Is this true? I'm an atheist, and I think such people are stupid.

Religions forcing their beliefs down your throat is the reason while many people become atheist/agnostic.

I am against any non-scientific organization that tells you how to think. In fact, even for scientists, the sources are diverse, which is nice.

In Montreal, there is a stupid atheist bus ad campaign which reads "God might not exist" or some shit like that.

1. This is pussy atheism, they should read "God doesn't motherfucking exist"
2. This is agnosticism, and agnosticism is uncertain, so it shouldn't force its beliefs
3. This is forcing one's beliefs, which is as bad as religion.


My signature was old so I changed it.

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mrshizel
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:57:29 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:39 PM, Elios wrote:
"Oh, not interested huh? What are you, and fucking JEW!? You're a JEW aren't ya!? One of those plane flying baby killing JEWS!!!"

wtf? i didn't know priest were aloud to say that!?

RubberTrucky
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 15:59:29 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:54 PM, Proottalfain wrote:
One day he threatened to punch my friend's face in so he could see if his God was going to save him. And my friend isn't even religious.
Is this true? I'm an atheist, and I think such people are stupid.

No, nor is the OP's story.


RubberJournal: READY DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT!
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Elios
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:00:50 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:51 PM, StephanosGnomon wrote:
At 5/31/09 03:39 PM, Elios wrote: "Oh, not interested huh? What are you, and fucking JEW!? You're a JEW aren't ya!? One of those plane flying baby killing JEWS!!!"
Are you shitting me?

What church in Buffalo does this Richard priest guy belong to?

The St. Peter and Paul Church, that's right outside my house.

I think he's one of the retired priests. I've seen him going in and out of the church a few times, but i believe there are a few younger ones that do the Sunday things.

By the way, in my little town, 3/4ths of it is OWNED by the church. There's a nuns retirement home down the street, lots of priest houses, etc etc. Most of the religious nuts around here are nice, but a few of them, including dick, are crazy.


Do what now...?

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masterguy-1243
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:01:43 Reply

Oh,those dicks. Not meaty flesh rods.

Proottalfain
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:02:02 Reply

At 5/31/09 03:59 PM, RubberTrucky wrote:
At 5/31/09 03:54 PM, Proottalfain wrote:
One day he threatened to punch my friend's face in so he could see if his God was going to save him. And my friend isn't even religious.
Is this true? I'm an atheist, and I think such people are stupid.
No, nor is the OP's story.

Well I'll ask him Thursday.


My signature was old so I changed it.

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x-Exodus-X
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:04:06 Reply

Why do you respect this fuck?

Elios
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:07:32 Reply

At 5/31/09 04:04 PM, x-Exodus-X wrote: Why do you respect this fuck?

He's a priest, gotta have a little respect for a priest.

When i first met him, he was nice. He honestly looked like one of those old guys that just sits around, talking about "the good ol' days". (I'm guessing the 40's for him).

But it's not the first time i've seen religious nuts up close, and i never expected to live near to one.


Do what now...?

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TheDaemonicPoet
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:13:40 Reply

Dude that guy is an Hipocrite and this makes me be sure that the Catholic religion is a fascism, they say they love God, they are good people but in fact they are fuckin sinners, and that is the reason cuz now I am Protestant Christian.


Liberals defend the exploitation of man by man, Conservatives defend the reverse.

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peanutfoot932
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:14:49 Reply

Learn some Bible verses and whoop his ass in a theological debate.

Matthew is pretty good for that kind of thing.


"Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." - Tom Lehrer

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TheDaemonicPoet
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:16:46 Reply

I agree with you... seriously...


Liberals defend the exploitation of man by man, Conservatives defend the reverse.

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BrockManson
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Response to Dicks in my face! 2009-05-31 16:17:56 Reply

Maybe you should remind him that Jesus Christ was Jewish?


Some people feel content to pour syrup on shit and call it pancakes their whole lives.