Drawing needing serious critique

[Shishizurui]

I've been at this one for awhile and i have a few pictures of this one with progress I'm very intrested on how you think this is coming along.

I have made updates so be sure to look at the latest one

[Shishizurui]

2nd edit.
Adding wrinkles adjusting the eyes small stuff

this came a day or 2 after the original

[Shishizurui]

3rd edit

the eyes were fixed however remain unfinished
many lines were redrawn
a background was started

the mouth was slightly altered

[Shishizurui]

4th edit
This one was taken with a camera instead of a scanner

the biggest change is her butt, making her butt smaller because she is supposed to be like 12-15 or something I believe i should also be showing her left leg / foot but i haven't gotten around to that.

The lines here are drawn alot crisper as well. the eyes still remain unfinished

also her fingers were improved in the 3rd/ 4th edit

[Kinsei]

you have some interesting progress going on here, but As a bit of advice be careful of her right shoulder, it juts out a little much and her hand on her chest could use some adjustment.
So far you keep correcting the mistakes. this isn't too bad so far.
Next time you should plan it out a little more. it seems like you just started with a basic picture of girl but then after she was done you wanted to add more. it worked this time buy you'll have much more success in the future with more planning.

[Leidolfr]

At 5/30/09 09:56 PM, Kinsei01 wrote: you have some interesting progress going on here, but As a bit of advice be careful of her right shoulder, it juts out a little much and her hand on her chest could use some adjustment.
So far you keep correcting the mistakes. this isn't too bad so far.
Next time you should plan it out a little more. it seems like you just started with a basic picture of girl but then after she was done you wanted to add more. it worked this time buy you'll have much more success in the future with more planning.

yeah the line should be a little lower, and it should drop off sooner. shes also lacking some details for as good as it already is, some wrinkles in the shirt maybe, a little more definition, but yeah, its good.

[MADJACK24]

not bad at all.. although you may want to work a bit on separatin the bottom jaw and the neck.... other than that... great job

[Shishizurui]

The recent rendition of the project

I am having trouble with the tree outside you never think about it but trees are hard to draw

I added eye detail
more wrinkles
more background
a button on by her pocket
a giga pet keychain

I did fix her arm
hand

I'm still very unsure if her other foot should be visible or not.

still several smaller things will need to be touched up
perhaps a poster will be added to her room or a clock to wrap up the back ground

this was taken with the camera and it will appear clearer once i ink it with the micron pens

I have no idea how i'm going to color this if i color this btw. i would like to tradditionally color this one.

[JoeTheToucan]

Looks alright

But I don't like anime.

[Kinsei]

I think her other foot is ok not being seen. as for the trees out side, I really wouldn't have gone that far, but you did, and I think the tree looks nice. So I feel you don't have an issue their.
what do you plan to color this with? Photoshop, Markers, Color pencils? Depending on which format you choose will decide on how to bring this together properly.

[ButcherGod]

Not too sure how to word it... but there's something about the hair that just... throws it all off... maybe its just me...

[Leidolfr]

At 5/31/09 03:41 PM, ButcherGod wrote: Not too sure how to word it... but there's something about the hair that just... throws it all off... maybe its just me...

I still say that shoulder needs to be fixed, thats what keeps throwin me off, everything else is good i think

[PlutoCow]

At 5/31/09 03:52 PM, Leidolfr wrote:
I still say that shoulder needs to be fixed, thats what keeps throwin me off, everything else is good i think

Maybe it's just that her hips are at a different angle from her shoulders? Going off of the way her hips are facing, you should be able to see more of her left shoulder, and basically more of her front. Good job, btw, Shishizurui, the picture looks really cute and all of your lines are very clean. I'm jealous, my sketches are always a huge mess.

[Shishizurui]

thankyou very much plutocow

[Kinsei]

how long do you think you'll get the colored version out?

[Shishizurui]

Its taking longer than it needs to becuase i'm being very cautious this is a really good picture for me and i dont want to rush out and destroy it.

A friend of mine told me i should keep it in black and white, which i can understand why i'll probly pen it tonight and start working on the digital coloring soon.

i can guarantee i'll have something up in the next 2 days

[Kajenx]

Hey, I like that you changed the hand on the latest version, but it looks a bit small now. It seems like she needs a bit more wrist. Maybe bump it out a bit? You're making good progress on it I think, keep it up!

[Leo3oproductions]

it's a good picture.the only thing left to do really would to put a poster in the backround,behind the t.v.

[Shishizurui]

At 6/1/09 07:08 PM, Leo3oproductions wrote: it's a good picture.the only thing left to do really would to put a poster in the backround,behind the t.v.

I actually thought of that, to give more of the feel of how this character is one of these crazy otaku girls or her manga or somethin i may add that in the final colored version

[Shishizurui]

i may be able to do that in the final color version, its already inked now. but we'll see.
i'm submitting the inked picture now.

At 6/1/09 06:59 PM, Kajenx wrote: Hey, I like that you changed the hand on the latest version, but it looks a bit small now. It seems like she needs a bit more wrist. Maybe bump it out a bit? You're making good progress on it I think, keep it up!

[Shishizurui]

I'm nearing the end of the project I finally inked the picture and i'm going to photoshop it right now.

things i liked in this inking is how i did a good job making her stand out from the background.

there are maybe a few ink mistakes i did i'll clear up for the final version stay tuned because i will submit the colored version soon

and its been a great pleasure to have you guys n girls view and put in your advice you've been increadably helpful.

[Kinsei]

very nice inking, what to you use, a pin and dip ink or technical pens?

btw I just noticed, and it's a little late to fix, but the crotch is off. it's a little too bulging, the line defining it's contour should be a little more straight or slightly curved the opposite direction.
damn, sorry I didn't catch that sooner

[Shishizurui]

that isn't a hard fix at all, i use micron pens i'm terrible with paint and dip like stuff.

At 6/1/09 08:19 PM, Kinsei01 wrote: very nice inking, what to you use, a pin and dip ink or technical pens?

btw I just noticed, and it's a little late to fix, but the crotch is off. it's a little too bulging, the line defining it's contour should be a little more straight or slightly curved the opposite direction.
damn, sorry I didn't catch that sooner

[Shishizurui]

the first preview of the coloring, it looks like ass right now but it need to kinda fall together.

[Kinsei]

I like the colors so far, I think you should go a little lighter on the wall paper though, this way it doesn't flood the characters color

[Shishizurui]

ya the walls will look better with more texture and a poster possibly
it will probly go through a large clean sweep last step

but i've never really attempted the painting style correctly, its normally been cell shading.

At 6/1/09 11:15 PM, Kinsei01 wrote: I like the colors so far, I think you should go a little lighter on the wall paper though, this way it doesn't flood the characters color

[Shishizurui]

thanks to a friend of mine showing me exactly how that hand should look like, i also did complete moer coloring in my uphill battle on this project. changing some tones and stuff

[Shishizurui]

alot of finishing touches were added and the project is now finished for the most part. thanks everyone for your time and critique.

[Kinsei]

I like your colors and lighting quite a bit, but I think you could push the highlights a little higher.

[Shishizurui]

when u say the highlights do u mean her hair the light put off by the TV or just the light spots generally?