Way To Get Your Girl To Put Out.

[Stoicish]

I'm going to make this topic short, sweet and to the point.

For the 5 NG'ers out there who actually have girlfriends this is for you.

NOTE: The secret females out there may think I'm a misogynistic man whore, but I am totally cool with that just as long as you know your place.

Anyway, so you girlfriend wants to hang out with you that night but its horribly obvious that she doesn't want to put her lips around the tip of your dick. First you need to establish that she is on her period and if she is then you obviously don't need to be around her.

Easy way to find out: "Hey are you on your rag?" For those wanting to gain their red wings then this doesn't apply to you.

Anyway, there are many reasons your girl doesn't want to sex you up that night:
-She tired
-She mad at you
-Her Grandpa died

Here is a quick and easy method to get your girl to drop her panties fast. Suggest that you want to watch a movie staring a hit male star. Maybe Zac Efron, Daniel Radcliff or whatever male star that obviously outshines you in the look department. Make sure that there is at least one mantastic shirtless scene to get her heated up.

At some point in the middle of the movie just start giving her a back rub to ease her tension and actually make sure you know how to give one.

The rest will fall into place and you are on your way to a night of 5-10 minute passion where she is imagining that you are someone else.

If this doesn't work then I guarantee...that you did something wrong.

[iscrulz]

At 5/27/09 10:40 PM, psychicpebble wrote: my little sister just ran and told my mom

You shouldn't be on NG little boy.

[Mansell]

I can get my girlfriend to put out, and still know she is fucking me.

And 5-10 minutes? I'd rather wank.

[squidly]

At 5/27/09 10:40 PM, psychicpebble wrote: my little sister just ran and told my mom

Ooooo! Somebodies in troooouble!

[kamelona]

At 5/27/09 10:42 PM, mansellscore wrote: I can get my girlfriend to put out, and still know she is fucking me.

And 5-10 minutes? I'd rather wank.

tell all

[Parlux]

Hmm What ever happen of lighting up a blunt sit in front of the tv and have her trying to snatch it out your hand.

[Generalissimus]

If your gf is imagining somebody else, she probably won't be your gf for much longer and I don't blame her.

[Scrotaculous]

Or you could just feed them barbecue and get busy.

[SpiffyMasta]

This shit doesn't work when you've been with the same girl for long enough, or worse, married.

[Drugged]

At 5/27/09 10:47 PM, Scrotaculous wrote: Or you could just feed them barbecue and get busy.

What was that guy's name again? Jazz or something?

[KrustyTheClown]

At 5/27/09 11:00 PM, thatoneguyfromDD wrote:

At 5/27/09 10:47 PM, Scrotaculous wrote: Or you could just feed them barbecue and get busy.

What was that guy's name again? Jazz or something?

Yea, it's Jazz from the Fresh Prince. I was just thinking of that so that's why that pic was so hilarious, lol. Nicely done.

[NickScott]

At 5/28/09 12:14 AM, psychicpebble wrote: I was implying I tried these moves on my sister...nevermind..

I for one got what you were trying to say, buddy ;)

Whenever I want my girl to put out, i just put large doses of ketamine in her ice tea and molest her unconcious body. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps.

raep

[6r0undZ3r0]

I've heard chloroform does wonders..

[SeeInTheDark]

I would probably have sex with anyone who would watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with me.

[TheLameSauce]

At 5/27/09 11:10 PM, KrustyTheClown wrote:

At 5/27/09 11:00 PM, thatoneguyfromDD wrote:

At 5/27/09 10:47 PM, Scrotaculous wrote:

Yea, it's Jazz from the Fresh Prince. I was just thinking of that so that's why that pic was so hilarious, lol. Nicely done.

dj jazzy jeff always being tossed out the door by that fat shit uncle phil. what the fuck. he just wants some hillary poon.

anyways, suggesting to watch some estrogen targeting, boy flaunting, chick flick is pretty transparent. she'll either think you like dick or you're a retard.

[Proottalfain]

At 5/28/09 12:14 AM, psychicpebble wrote: I was implying I tried these moves on my sister...nevermind..

Also if your girlfriend is having to imagine someone else for her to put out, that's sad. But this is newgrounds after all. Whenever I want my girl to put out, i just put large doses of ketamine in her ice tea and molest her unconcious body. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps.

I think this dude knows how the thing works. Fuck OP, I'm trying this.

Yeah, OP is really pathetic if his GF has to imagine Zac Efron.

[BHBK]

At 5/27/09 10:40 PM, psychicpebble wrote: my little sister just ran and told my mom

son ur a fucking fag if u have to use your sister!!

[MissSkylark]

Hah. My boyfriend would have to kill me before I ever decided to watch a chick flick.

Explosions are more erotic anyway.

[WilliWowza]

At 5/28/09 01:04 AM, SeeInTheDark wrote: I would probably have sex with anyone who would watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with me.

You're a Gene Wilder kind of girl, huh?

[Jesse-Ray]

I just say nothing, just don't say anything and then after so long, when the tension is so high I go "How 'bout it then"

[CrowCuervo]

If she's not in the mood, I'll hardy get in the mood too...
And it may sound cheesy, but if it is to fuck with her imagining some fucking rockstar, then I prefer to not, unless I'm really pissed and just want to bang, cum and sleep and fuck all that shit. But if I'm sweety and shit mood, then I expect for her to feel pleasure with me, thinking about me and she don't dare to even think about someone else or I'll double uppercut her uterus

[ikool]

Fake.
If this were true, no1 would come to Newgrounds.

[CrowCuervo]

At 5/28/09 01:20 AM, ikool wrote: Fake.
If this were true, no1 would come to Newgrounds.

Have you tried to fuck 24/7?
It hurts...

[SeeInTheDark]

At 5/28/09 01:06 AM, WilliWowza wrote:

At 5/28/09 01:04 AM, SeeInTheDark wrote: I would probably have sex with anyone who would watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with me.

You're a Gene Wilder kind of girl, huh?

Yeah, I'm pretty wild, yeah.

I was watching a movie yesterday.... actually, I thought I was watching a movie, but after I just now spent a few minutes trying to figure out which I realized I was dreaming of watching a movie... anyways, there was this male star onscreen that I'd seen in lots of pictures and I decided that I'd rather get to know these characters that I encounter--

No, it was today in English, and the actor was Gregory Peck. So I decided that I'd rather get to know the people I encounter on screen, in movies, through books, than the complicated, confusing kids I meet every day.

[WilliWowza]

At 5/28/09 01:29 AM, SeeInTheDark wrote: No, it was today in English, and the actor was Gregory Peck. So I decided that I'd rather get to know the people I encounter on screen, in movies, through books, than the complicated, confusing kids I meet every day.

Well I often I hang around outside their houses, waiting for a friendly chat or a cup of brew, but they're very reluctant to be friends it seems. Gregory Peck wouldn't even give me a response, thinks he's too high and mighty to pop out of his coffin and say Hi for two seconds.

[Prinzy2]

What ever happened to buying her a nice dinner?

Personally I think each woman should have her own pamphlet that has details of her personal sexual contract.

Movie buys you a blowjob
Dinner buys you sex
Diamonds gets you all of the above plus anal

[CrowCuervo]

At 5/28/09 01:29 AM, SeeInTheDark wrote: No, it was today in English, and the actor was Gregory Peck. So I decided that I'd rather get to know the people I encounter on screen, in movies, through books, than the complicated, confusing kids I meet every day.

It might come as a surprise, but many famous people is sick of this

[AnonymousAlchemist]

I did all that once, but it never got me anywhere. However, I did get some the next night, by saying "Hey. You, me, and this condom."

I wasn't sure if it was going to work.

Best night of my life yet.

[Bacchanalian]

Christ that was depressing.

[Chumbawamba]

omg my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex everyday, wtf am I to do!!??!!