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If your penis could talk...

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BigLundi
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If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:21:21 Reply

Well, I made a semi-serious post earlier with a young boy singing a christian song really well, s I'm going to post THIS one to offset that one.

Ahem, if your penis could talk, what would it say?

As for myself:

"Touch me."

All day...

Proottalfain
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:21:58 Reply

"Let there be light!"


My signature was old so I changed it.

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WeHaveFreshCookies
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:22:59 Reply

If my penis could talk it would probably mock me.

zoke
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:23:28 Reply

It would be this guy:


PM me for a sig like this.
/saying "/thread"

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Arsonist50
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:24:01 Reply

"I feel mutilated and cold."


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Proottalfain
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:24:09 Reply

"Dude, I thought you were smaller"


My signature was old so I changed it.

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reveihca
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:24:16 Reply

It would remind me everyday that it wouldn't exist if not for the unexpected results of steroids.

Still think playing professional baseball is cool, jackass?
speakerlight
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:27:38 Reply

"someone somewhere is feeling my despair"


Can you see this? Probably not. Douche.

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reveihca
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:29:02 Reply

At 5/22/09 11:27 PM, speakerlight wrote: "someone somewhere is feeling my despair"

"Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight"

If your penis could talk...

X-TERRORIST-X
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:42:20 Reply

At 5/22/09 11:21 PM, BigLundi wrote: Ahem, if your penis could talk, what would it say?

It would probably say something along the line of, "You abuser. You suffocate me with plastic and shake me until I vomit. To make matters worth, I'm stuck next to these two nuts. This sucks."

or something like that..?

--------------- "Disrespect women and acquire currency" ---------------

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Boss
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:43:56 Reply

It would probably shout things in public and I'd be very ashamed.


I'm an instigator

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SymbolCymbal
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:47:45 Reply

Stop....*cough* .. choking.. me!....*blech*.. great now you made me thro up

HeavyMetalGuy
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:50:02 Reply

"Get that hand away from me! this is the 5th time in an hour!!"

Not really. how can anyone jack off that much? damn.

Arsonist50
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-22 23:51:10 Reply

At 5/22/09 11:50 PM, metalguy777 wrote: "Get that hand away from me! this is the 5th time in an hour!!"

Not really. how can anyone jack off that much? damn.

Do you want me to show you ?


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AnonymousAlchemist
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 00:23:18 Reply

If my penis talked, it would say all sorts of things:

"You never call me!"
"Why are you obsessed with touching me?"
"I wish you had a girlfriend. I'm tired of your hands."
"NO! DON'T PUT ME IN THERE!!!"

Dogmeat
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 00:48:34 Reply

"Ohhh gawd, *uuguhuguhghghgghghg* why must you make me throw up?! *ughugugguggugghhguhuguhug* OH MAI GAWD PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!"


I AM THREAD KILLER!

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budda121
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 00:49:31 Reply

it would ask me why i make it throw up about 10 times a day on average, then ask me why im a sick asshole llike that.

in other worrds, the exact conversation with my mother in-law =)

rifledark1
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 01:24:30 Reply

"MY HEAD. YOUR MOUTH. NOW."

"Hey you, yeah, you, the guy who keeps touching me every minute relentlessly. See that bitch right there in front of you? I WANT IN MOTHAFUCKA."


#1 Penis worshipper. <3

danrific
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 01:35:06 Reply

At 5/22/09 11:21 PM, BigLundi wrote: Well, I made a semi-serious post earlier with a young boy singing a christian song really well, s I'm going to post THIS one to offset that one.

Ahem, if your penis could talk, what would it say?

As for myself:

"Touch me."

All day...

Way to steal the entire thing from Comedy Central

Fail

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RedDreadSky
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 01:40:36 Reply

"Feed me Seymour!"


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ifureadthisdie
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:44:44 Reply

"Get me in her"


The guy below me is gay

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Keven11Twenty7
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:47:22 Reply

Stop! Don't you have better things to do! I am burning to death here!
FRICTION HURTS!!!

TurtleKirby101
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:47:53 Reply

"I like men now"


My youtube account :) ||| Join the resistance 2 crew!
Meditation. Better than sitting around doing nothing, eh?

DjBliss
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:49:22 Reply

"good god why did you stick me in that stinky nasty ass water pit last night, now i have the chicken pocks"

Maximus
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:51:01 Reply

"Y..Your hurting me"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH"

"Please, Please stop, I can't take it anymore"

"YOU'LL TAKE IT AND LOVE IT"

"ahhhhhhhhh"

EJACULATION


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ParisHilton
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:52:07 Reply

i dont have a peeeeen.


boom blow!

Sistine1408
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 02:54:49 Reply

Aww, I just watched that guy, too...


Current Status: Unbanned
Writer's Club, for all your literacy needs
Fourth Perspective, a wonderful site for your writing.

BigLundi
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 12:40:16 Reply

At 5/23/09 01:35 AM, danrific wrote:
Fail

I apologize, but after looking at your resume, which consists of post count and the like, I have come to the conclusion you haven't earned the right to say Fail.

Xenolithic
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 12:41:18 Reply

It'd say, "Stop touching me."

MaryLovesJane
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Response to If your penis could talk... 2009-05-23 12:47:32 Reply

At 5/22/09 11:21 PM, BigLundi wrote: Well, I made a semi-serious post earlier with a young boy singing a christian song really well, s I'm going to post THIS one to offset that one.

Ahem, if your penis could talk, what would it say?

As for myself:

"Touch me."

All day...

It's a funny question to ask and all, but I just watched a comedian perform this Q and A skit on Comedy Central.

ANYWHOOZLE! My penis would say, "Let me in!"