It all started last night. I was walking down the road after play rehearsal when a car full of college age kids pulled up in front of me. It was dark out and I was alone, so I was a little worried. But I figured they were just messing around so I continued walking. Sure enough, they drove away.
I was almost to my neighborhood when they came back. They stopped right in front of my on the sidewalk and they all got out of their shitty honda civic with a fart muffler. I knew I might be in trouble at this point but I wasn't sure if they were just messing around or not. I tried to walk past them but they pushed me backward.
It was at this point that I knew I was in trouble. But little did they know that I had a weapon just in case a situation like this ever arose. They thought they had the jump on me, but they were wrong. Oh were they wrong. I reached slowly into my pocket and my fingers found what they sought. A hard, cylindrical object. About 12 inches in length and a diameter of about 2 inches, with a spray range of about 15 yards. These guys were about to regret messing with me, and they didn't even know it yet. I smiled to myself, as I pulled it out, relishing what was about to happen.
The four guys stopped short at the sight of it. They knew they could never win against such a weapon. They turned to run but it was too late. They were trapped between me, a wall, and their own car. I let loose a short blast, hitting their eyes and temporarily blinding them. I hit the first guy in the groin with it and he instantly collapsed in pain. The second guy took it straight to the face and was immediately knocked out. The third guy was so afraid that he turned and ran straight into the wall. I whacked him in the back of the head a few times to be sure he was out. Then I turned to the next guy. He was cowering up against the car. "P-P-Please don't hurt me. I wasn't REALLY going to do anything. I wont do it again, I swear", he begged me. I laughed and smashed his left arm with it. By this time, he was actually crying in fear and pain. I then shattered his right arm with my fearsome weapon. He was in agony now, and his sobbing was bothering my kindred spirit, so I mercifully ended his suffering with a swift blow to the throat, killing him instantly.
The moral of this story is. Don't mess with WeHaveFreshCookies. Because this sonofabitch is packing one hell of a cock. I'll fuck your shit up with that thing. Don't test me.
The worst member.
Sexy Yes? I would think so :3
I only read the last sentence.
You';re a dickhead.
That story wasn't worth reading.
What'd you expect me to say?
Oh. I thought there was going to be some clever punchline at the end of it, like we were all meant to think it was your cock and that was the conceit.
Give my thoughts form and make them look insightful.
At 5/12/09 07:22 PM, macdeth wrote: tldr
Four guys jumped me and I kicked the shit out of them with my gigantic and powerful cock.
lazy child...
Ahh... the classic make a huge story and then end it with cocks.
At 5/12/09 07:30 PM, MegamanZero360 wrote: Ahh... the classic make a huge story and then end it with cocks.
I miss the old days of the epic BBS stories. What can I say? I want a revival so I took action.
So you beat up a bunch of dudes with your cock...awesome.
Shut up already.
WARNING! WARNING! this could bee 100% falseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... WARNING!
Mortal kombat sprites are Aweshum
At 5/12/09 07:42 PM, EDDDDDDDDD wrote: WARNING! WARNING! this could bee 100% falseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... WARNING!
Yeah, because someone would lie on NewGrounds.
Shut up already.
My sig is invisible.Where you should be.READ THESE.
This here is my like page for my cartoons and stuff, if you like my shit, like my page
shameless plug down bellow
I'm glad I've never pissed you off. I'll try not to do it in the future either.
Current Status: Active
Sick of all the spam on Newgrounds? Click here.
I'm hanging out with the cool mods.
At 5/12/09 07:42 PM, EDDDDDDDDD wrote: WARNING! WARNING! this could bee 100% falseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... WARNING!
And here I was thinking that everything on the BBS was true...
At 5/12/09 07:42 PM, EDDDDDDDDD wrote: WARNING! WARNING! this could bee 100% falseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... WARNING!
What?! NOOOOoooo... ME?! LIE?! On the BBS?
psh... NEVER!
I challenge you to a COCKFIGHT!
You may have fought many a dickhead, but do you have what it takes to face the blackest of black cocks?
3.5 Gigabytes of Free HG Orchestral Soundfonts!
Wanna hear them in action? Listen to Rage of the Giants or Bagatella Di Estate!
At 5/12/09 07:52 PM, blackattackbitch wrote: I challenge you to a COCKFIGHT!
You may have fought many a dickhead, but do you have what it takes to face the blackest of black cocks?
when did slaphappy get here?
Shut up already.
At 5/12/09 08:00 PM, thelittleemo wrote: when did slaphappy get here?
What? Slappy ain't the only black coc- er, I mean guy around here!
3.5 Gigabytes of Free HG Orchestral Soundfonts!
Wanna hear them in action? Listen to Rage of the Giants or Bagatella Di Estate!
At 5/12/09 08:00 PM, thelittleemo wrote:At 5/12/09 07:52 PM, blackattackbitch wrote: I challenge you to a COCKFIGHT!when did slaphappy get here?
You may have fought many a dickhead, but do you have what it takes to face the blackest of black cocks?
10 minutes ago. I smacked him across the face, then I crushed his head with it.
At 5/12/09 08:08 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote:At 5/12/09 08:00 PM, thelittleemo wrote:10 minutes ago. I smacked him across the face, then I crushed his head with it.At 5/12/09 07:52 PM, blackattackbitch wrote: I challenge you to a COCKFIGHT!when did slaphappy get here?
You may have fought many a dickhead, but do you have what it takes to face the blackest of black cocks?
Oh shit...well now I think that Jade is the only one that can stand up to you...
Shut up already.
I read the last sentence first, thought you meant "cock" some other way. I thought "Hah, it can be used as a cock joke!" I was wrong, it was about a cock.
Also, cocks. I didn't say cock enough.
You guys are all real swell.
I honestly thought you were talking about pepper spray.
are you gay or something? cause seriously that was stupid, irrelevant, and impossible in every damn way
Seriously, who even reads these things anymore?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ugh...
yes i am a fucking hero
Select between 5 monster racers, upgrade your monster skill and win the competition!
4.18 / 5.00 3,534 Views
Build most powerful forces, unleash hordes of monster and control your soldiers!
3.80 / 5.00 4,200 Views
© Copyright 1995-2014 Newgrounds, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.
