Friend wants me to be best man

[Zack]

One of my really good friends, who also happens to be a total idiot just asked his girlfriend to marry him and she said yes. He called a few hours later and told me that he wants me to be the best man in his wedding I told him i'd think about it and would get back to him in a few days.

The reason I'm not allboard to do this is because of these fallowing factors.

They've only been dating for get this 5 WHOLE LONG MONTHS and are madly in love despite the fact that she's broken up with him twice in that time. Once for 3 weeks and another for like 2 or 3 days both times returning to make out and go on a few dates with her ex.

Second he is Mormon(big surprise after i throw this out there huh?) and is turning 19 soon to leave on his wonderful 2 YEAR MISSION to go ride bikes. He's been under trumendous pressure by his parents to find a girl that he loves ever since he was 16 and they've been forcing him into relationship after relationship finding a girl that they think would make a good wife, yes they really are like that.

I really don't want to give my blessing to any of this bullshit because even when they get married and end up hating each other for the rest of they're live they wont devoirce because you know no longer loving your wife is a huge sin and it's better to stayed married to someone you hate and pretend that you still love them like his parents.

I also don't want to look like a huge fucking douchebag and say no and have him hate me for the rest of his life and have it ruin our friendship because he's going to ask for an explanation and i wont hold back from calling him a fucking moron.

Plus I probably would look pretty spiffy in a tux and i've never worn one so this would be a good excuse...

what would you guys do( note im asking out of curiosity i wont base my decision off anything you say in this thread :3)

[The-Great-One]

At 5/8/09 02:11 AM, Zack wrote: ( note im asking out of curiosity i wont base my decision off anything you say in this thread :3)

Oh then I say go post this in a news post then.

[Generalissimus]

At least you would get free food if you did it.

[o0-0o]

At 5/8/09 02:11 AM, Zack wrote:

what would you guys do( note im asking out of curiosity i wont base my decision off anything you say in this thread :3)

Well, I'd be best man and fuck his wife on the wedding day.

Tickle your curiosity enough?

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

You need to find a way to bring him out of this chemically induced dementia called love. But if you can't, support him. You don't have to support the marrige, but you CAN support him.

[reveihca]

At 5/8/09 02:11 AM, Zack wrote: One of my really good friends, who also happens to be a total idiot just asked his girlfriend to marry him and she said yes. He called a few hours later and told me that he wants me to be the best man in his wedding I told him i'd think about it and would get back to him in a few days.

The reason I'm not allboard to do this is because of these fallowing factors.

They've only been dating for get this 5 WHOLE LONG MONTHS and are madly in love despite the fact that she's broken up with him twice in that time. Once for 3 weeks and another for like 2 or 3 days both times returning to make out and go on a few dates with her ex.

Bull shit, I can imagine he's in love and she's desperate or vice versa but it's very unlikely they can't live without each other and are passionately in love under these circumstances.

Second he is Mormon(big surprise after i throw this out there huh?) and is turning 19 soon to leave on his wonderful 2 YEAR MISSION to go ride bikes. He's been under trumendous pressure by his parents to find a girl that he loves ever since he was 16 and they've been forcing him into relationship after relationship finding a girl that they think would make a good wife, yes they really are like that.

Religion has little to do with intellect, even if he's blinded by his parents influence he can see this is going to hurt him in the end and since divorce is such a sin perhaps he might want to marry a girl he can feel a bit more confident with.

I really don't want to give my blessing to any of this bullshit because even when they get married and end up hating each other for the rest of they're live they wont devoirce because you know no longer loving your wife is a huge sin and it's better to stayed married to someone you hate and pretend that you still love them like his parents.

I also don't want to look like a huge fucking douchebag and say no and have him hate me for the rest of his life and have it ruin our friendship because he's going to ask for an explanation and i wont hold back from calling him a fucking moron.

I'm sure if you two are that great of friends and you make a decision with his best interest in mind he won't hate you forever. Explain why you're saying now, don't just deny him the request. Obviously there are some pretty logical reasons why you don't want to give your blessings and you shouldn't feel obligated too.

If this is something he's really passionate about he'll find another best man, but perhaps--and there's a very small chance of this--your decline of his offer will hit him like a lightning bolt and he'll realize what a tramp he's been. Then you two can kiss and make up, and you can wear a tux at his next wedding.

[ViceFullbuster]

Be a pal and go for it.

[Luxury-Yacht]

I'd go. Even though I wouldn't agree with his decision, I'd do it. Of course, I'd try to reason with him and urge him to re-evaluate the situation. Given that he's mormon, and mormons often marry quite young, he's going to be eager to marry very quickly, but tell him that he should keep in mind the break ups that they've had. Try to have them push the wedding date far back so that they have more time to think on whether they want to do it or not.

Also, you're obviously a good friend of his, and he wants you to be his best man, which is an honor. Even if you don't agree with the wedding, it's not like refusing to be the best man would keep them from getting married, he'd just find a replacement. So go for it, I guess.

[yhar]

At 5/8/09 02:11 AM, Zack wrote: I probably would look pretty spiffy in a tux

Wait, and you need more reasons?!

[SardonicSamurai]

Ouch, that really sucks dude. If I were you, I'd talk to him about it. Just throw out the facts. They've been "together" for 5 months, two times being separated within that time frame. Tell him that marriage is PERMANENT (or it's supposed to be) and that it is a major commitment. Ask him questions like "Do you think you'll feel the same way you do about her now 5 years from now? 10 years? 20?

If he feels like it's the right thing to do, just say you feel like it's a bad idea, but that you're friends and that you'll do it.

[RazorHawk]

Talk it out with him, and let him know that he'd better be really serious about doing this. Mention the fact that from your point of view, his relationship seems pretty shaky (put it lightly), and that maybe he's rushing way too quickly into this.

If he still wants to do it despite everything you tell him, just do it. It won't be as bad as you think it will be.

[Leidolfr]

dont be a puss, be the best man and hook up with a brides maid

[thesomebody7]

remember its his life not yours, if hes happy good for him and your one of his good mates so be the best man. if u where getting married and the guy u asked to be best man says not how would u feel?

[Hades]

I believe you have to do it. True, he may be an idiot for doing this, but it IS his choice, and you ARE his friend, and should therefore support him. Bite your tongue, go through the whole carnival and walk off home without any guilt.

[Boss]

At 5/8/09 02:17 AM, o0-0o wrote:

At 5/8/09 02:11 AM, Zack wrote:

what would you guys do( note im asking out of curiosity i wont base my decision off anything you say in this thread :3)

Well, I'd be best man and fuck his wife on the wedding day.

Tickle your curiosity enough?

No.
That's kind of messed up.

[Gotham]

Try to convince him he is making a rather huuuuuuuuge mistake. If that doesn't work out well... enjoy the wedding I'd say =/.

[Haoie]

Either be honest, or do it.

[AlkaSeltzer]

It is a very big ask. If I were in that situation I would sit down with the guy alone and tell him your very same opinions and ask numerous "are you sure?" questions. Then I would simply go through with it and lie through my teeth when performing any speeches that toast to their future relationship - there isn't much else you can do.

Or you could just say that you have a dentist appointment on that day, or jury duty or something.

[Khris]

if he wants you to be the best man, then jsut be it

[poxpower]

Just do it.
What do you care? You'll get a great day of free food and drinks and become closer to your friend.

If you tell him you think his religion is dumb and that his parents are asshole who'll only make him unhappy for the rest of his life, he'll hate you for it.
On the other hand, if you're his best man now, he'll come to you in the future as your friend and then maybe one day you can convince him to grow a pair of balls.

But it'll probably be too late. Oh well. Can't save people from themselves some times.

[WilliWowza]

Just do it. It's his life so he can do what he wants. You might as well just be a friend and be the best best man you can be rather than trying to talk him out of it and potentially ruining things between you two.

And hey, it might work out between them.

[Rallard]

I doubt if they get a divorce he'll be like, "oh my god, my best friend gave me his blessings, THIS IS HIS FAULT WHYYYYYYY!!!!"

Just support your friend, who cares.

[Lolzer]

Well i'd do it..Go be his best man and after the reception i would go throw up...Easy as that, still i wouldn't agree with what he's doing.

[DevilDog016]

Why? You'll eat for free, and you'll have access to some quite expensive stuff. If they make it all big, then you'd get a small fortune just from taking the silverware.

don't forget to bring a spacious car, 100 forks, 100 knives and 200 spoons (regular&dessert) take alot more space than you'd think.

[Reckon]

You know a guy who believes in Joseph Smith?!

[HeartbreakHoldout]

I'd say yes, and just accept the fact that people in love are fucking blind, and won't listen to reason. it's not worth sacrificing your friendship to have him ignore your advice and go through with it anyway. He'll just resent you even more, and then when it does come crashing down he'll feel even more alone.
Just try to be there for him when shit goes wrong.

[therealanimator]

At 5/8/09 02:25 AM, Molotov wrote: Be a pal and go for it.

hell ur gettin free food and booze. so go for it.

[wildfire4461]

Really it's up to you if you want to do it or not.
But hey, there's always the chance you'll bag a bridesmaid by going there (just don't drink too much or you may wake up next to a demoness).

[Fim]

This just sounds like a really comples issue, from what you've given me so here's my view

Just be honest with him and tell him you don't think it's a very good idea, you might not change his mind but perhaps you can persuade him to delay the wedding for a few months to make them both fully realise the decision they are making. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be best man to a wedding you have no faith in.
On the other hand, if they make each other happy then maybe you should be happy for your mate, it's not you who has to live with this girl it's his own decision. The main point is you have to think of a hilarious speech if you decide on going through with being the best man.

[TheJamoke]

Sucks that it's going to be a Mormon wedding. No booze probably. And it would be extremely difficult in your case to not snicker when the minister comes to the "reasons why these two should not be married" part.

Go anyway dude. At least while you are there you can start a betting pool with your other friends as to how long the marriage will last. Put your money down on less than one year and you've got a sure fire winner.