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Penis Torture (nsfw)

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Onizero
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Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:21 PM

Today me and friends somehow managed to get the topic of the most horrible ways to hurt your manhood. This conversation started at the middle of lunch went through recess and ended when we finally had to depart for classes. So I compiled a list of probably the most painful examples in no perticular order not adding any of the filler nonsense that we had TONS of.

- Being stuck in place in red underwear at a bull fighting arena.
- Getting your nuts stuck on ice.
- Slamming your nuts in a drawer.
- Getting a spiked bat to the crotch.
- [This hurts to even think about.] Getting it slammed in a car door and having your friend drive off.
- Purell in the hole.
- Having your penis pinned to a tree by a large nail and being forced to run.
- Wolverine (from the marvel universe) sticking his claws through your ballsack.
- Being pinned to the ground and having your nuts repeatedly stomped on.
- Having a law mower obliterate your genitals slowly.
- While swimming in a lake having your penis caught in a hook and a pro bass fisher try to reel you in.
- Having your nuts slowly squeezed in a vice.
- A tree growing in your ballsack that slowly rips apart your manhood.

And a bonus for females.
- Just watch the pole scene in Cannibal Holocaust.

Try to think of some more painful situations. Be creative NG.


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PrawDuhJee
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:21 PM

Did you really even have to put (NSFW) ?

BananaBreadMuffin
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:22 PM

At 5/7/09 06:21 PM, PrawDuhJee wrote: Did you really even have to put (NSFW) ?

My boss would be angry enough with me if I was on Newgrounds at all, I don't think they'd even get round to reading the topic title before telling me to get back to work.

Onizero
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:23 PM

Imagine a teacher or a coworker catching you looking at this.


Swag.
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yhar
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:24 PM

Push ball bearings down the end then try and piss.
Fill the end with glue.
Attach a wasp on string.


THIS IS CITRICSQUID POSTING

Boss
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:26 PM

Driving a car in like Australia or something, then it topples over and you fly out of it over to a hill filled with cactuses and your pant legs catch on one and tear your pants off, then your dick goes out across one of those cactuses that make everything itch under your skin. Then you go down and your nuts slam into the other cactus. You then fall to the ground and a few hour later you get up and a kangaroo kicks you in the nuts off of a cliff and you fall into the lake below slamming your dick and balls into the water. owie.


I'm an instigator

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Elios
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:27 PM

"I suck yo' dick..."

Penis Torture (nsfw)


Do what now...?

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reveihca
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:30 PM

It's nice you put so much thought into this.

yhar
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:30 PM

At 5/7/09 06:28 PM, Ejit wrote: Putting a sun down your urethra.

hahahahahha.


THIS IS CITRICSQUID POSTING

therealanimator
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:30 PM

At 5/7/09 06:27 PM, Elios wrote: "I suck yo' dick..."

he could bite any dick off with those metallic chompers!


cherry garcia: its like having an angel cum in your mouth

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Meepster
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:32 PM

Put it in coke... i've tried it.


brb ninjas surrounding house

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unbelivable
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:36 PM

- Being stuck in place in red underwear at a bull fighting arena. Not really
- Getting your nuts stuck on ice. Not really could be pleasurably.
- Slamming your nuts in a drawer. obviously, you could do better.
- Getting a spiked bat to the crotch. Be more creative.
- [This hurts to even think about.] Getting it slammed in a car door and having your friend drive off. Mabey.
- Purell in the hole. WTF is purell?
- Having your penis pinned to a tree by a large nail and being forced to run. Yes, this might be the only good one.
- Wolverine (from the marvel universe) sticking his claws through your ballsack. nerd much?
- Being pinned to the ground and having your nuts repeatedly stomped on. Mabey
- Having a law mower obliterate your genitals slowly. Mabey
- While swimming in a lake having your penis caught in a hook and a pro bass fisher try to reel you in. Mabey
- Having your nuts slowly squeezed in a vice. Meh...
- A tree growing in your ballsack that slowly rips apart your manhood. No

That was absolutely awful seeing as you had almost 3 hours to come up with that. You fail sir.


.

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Onizero
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:37 PM

At 5/7/09 06:36 PM, unbelivable wrote: That was absolutely awful seeing as you had almost 3 hours to come up with that. You fail sir.

When did I say it took 3 hours for me to come up with?


Swag.
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DumbassDude
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:38 PM

I figured this topic would be a link to a video or something, to be quite frank...

... I'm disappointed.


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ParadoxVoid
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:46 PM

At 5/7/09 06:36 PM, unbelivable wrote: That was absolutely awful seeing as you had almost 3 hours to come up with that. You fail sir.

Wow, you must have a brass nutsack if you really don't think any of those would hurt.


Aussie Club | TF2 Crew | TJPPC
Steam, Xfire: ParadoxVoid | Gamertag: TheFinalParadox

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doctorjmcgee
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 06:50 PM

Having someone drop a bowling ball on the balls, popping them, then taking a hammer and repeatedly smashing what's left and the main member as hard and fast as possible. Then finishing it with a pair of scissors.

xscoot
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:01 PM

At 5/7/09 06:21 PM, Onizero wrote:
- Being stuck in place in red underwear at a bull fighting arena.

Bulls are not angered by the colour red, but by the waving of the material used. Bulls are colour blind.


My PSN ID is xscoot. Crazy, huh?

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TheSilverGuitar
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:08 PM

At 5/7/09 06:27 PM, Elios wrote: "I suck yo' dick..."

Best one thus far.


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Vortex
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:09 PM

A cheese grater rubbed against the head

aquaticmole
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:35 PM

having a glass rod stuck up ur pee hole and then smashed so the glass shards cut up the inside your penis, after this then being forced to drink a gallon of water so you have to pee really bad.


aquaticmole.

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Shnam
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:48 PM

Dick in a meat grinder.


Thnx for the sig ParadoxVoid
i look like a ballplaya

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robotking98
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 07:53 PM

At 5/7/09 06:21 PM, Onizero wrote:
- A tree growing in your ballsack that slowly rips apart your manhood.

definetly that one, hurts just thinking about it


Seriously, who even reads these things anymore?

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Anubis
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 08:29 PM

You know what REALLY SUCKS?
Imagine sticking your penis in a fleshlight. only to find out that there is a razor at the bottom, and it slices your japs eye, directly down the middle.


Grass grows, Birds fly, Sun Shines, and bruddah, I hurt people.

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Onizero
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 08:31 PM

At 5/7/09 08:29 PM, Eatsalottagrass wrote: You know what REALLY SUCKS?
Imagine sticking your penis in a fleshlight. only to find out that there is a razor at the bottom, and it slices your japs eye, directly down the middle.

People actually use those!?


Swag.
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ZeroGravity
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 08:31 PM

HOLY CRAP

I'm not even a guy, and it hurt to read that.

There's something wrong with you.

FLAMEBOY97
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 08:47 PM

sticking your junk into the jets of your pool.


When zombies attack Earth...I will be there...boning ur girl!

Boss
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 7th, 2009 @ 09:14 PM

Having a kidney stone. IF IT WAS A BOMB. :O

cut the red or blue wire? YOU AINT CUTTIN' MAH DICK.

I'm an instigator

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Onizero
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 14th, 2009 @ 06:32 PM

At 5/7/09 08:47 PM, FLAMEBOY97 wrote: sticking your junk into the jets of your pool.

Ow.


Swag.
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BlakeMo
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 14th, 2009 @ 06:35 PM

Caught in a nutcracker

Dick Cheney'd

Set on fire

Ripped off by hand


Keepin' Calm and Chiving On
*clickable siggy*

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ChaDMcBaDD
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Response to Penis Torture (nsfw) May. 14th, 2009 @ 06:42 PM

At 5/7/09 06:21 PM, Onizero wrote: - Being pinned to the ground and having your nuts repeatedly stomped on.
- Having your nuts slowly squeezed in a vice.

these two seem to be the worst to me.


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