The Legacy of Dick Neck, he hides behind brown doors, perched up high on his mighty throne.
Some theorize this is the result of his head being jammed so far up his ass that it comes to stick back out of his body again. If you examine the pic you can clearly see that he is flexing to lodge it even farther up his anal cavity while masturbating his small penis. Unfortunately the combined strenous stress of these two utterly gay activities is depriving him of oxygen. Notice how his Giraffe Neck shades purple and the disturbing lifeless expression on his face.
Natural Selection at work my friends.