Cracked out and weary from sex with that chlamydia-infested whore, you jump into your piece of shit car and barrel out of the driveway. Clipping the mailbox on your way out, you curse loudly out the window at the local skate punks, calling them "little cunts" and that "skateboarding is a pussy sport". Promptly, they skate over to the car, which is stalled due to a flat tire popped on the mailbox you rolled over. They pull your intoxicated ass out the car, and begin to pound the shit out of you with their parent-bought skateboards. You scream and hiss like a cornered animal, and soon you lose enough blood to pass out. When you wake up, you find you are in a dark basement, gagged and bound. They notice your awakening, and begin to pour acid down your throat. Simultaneously, they twist your balls and saw your penis off with a rusty, dull steak knife. Your penis falls into a bucket of formaldehyde, and as it shrivels up and hisses, you die from the bloody ulcers forming inside of your esophagus and stomach.