Tom, some tips for being a great Father...
1) Lock up your guns, liquor and hentai....you can't just leave that stuff lying around anymore.
2) You're gonna need to get yourself a better job, i know this website and game design stuff is fun and all but you need something solid to take care of your family. And on top of that you should really get a job your boy can idolize you for having....maybe purchase a Krispy Kreme franchise or something.
3) As tempting as it is, don't touch the soft spot. Seriously dude, i know you're having all kinds of thoughts about what it might do but i promise you it doesn't launch a missile or anything like that.
...k, have fun shaping a human.