I fear for my existance...

[Psychopath]

Last night I read a copy of the Necronomicon that I bought from the store. Inside I found a incantation near the end of the book stating that most men on Earth have at least one spiritual parasite which start's off twice as big as the average man.

The incantation was meant for riding one's self of the parasite by saying "Ishtar" 7 time's in a row. It said that she would come to you and detatch the parasite with a copper knife thus destroying the parasite.

After I repeated the phrase somthing fucked up and fearsome occured; my lamp dimed as though each lightbulb were burning out until the electricity for the entire neighborehood starting going haywire. [I looked out to see that the porch light's for the other houses were off and when the electricity for my house returned so did their's.]

Everything would turn on and turn off simultaneously about 7 time's before it finally stoped.

Ironically everything stayed on after the seventh time, the time in which my mother awoken from her bed. I told her everything that happened and she said that she had a dream that she had a sword and that she was chopping up some sort of vine that grew at an alarming rate.

Now the Necronomicon is known for inducing psychological torture to those who use it, I find it to be more so of an emotional torture than psychological. [Mainly because my dream from last night was subtle and pleasant.]

But now that all is said and done I must ask you what you think is the most likely accurate answere for my question; Was it coincidence? Was the electricity maulfunction caused from Ishtar's wrath against me for invoking her power's or were they a mere side effect of her presence? Was the electric maulfunction caused from the parasite's leaving me and/or being tetatched from me? And is it possible that Ishtar transubstantiated and that incarnation of her is my mother?

I am still trembeling from the experiance.

[Bassanova-001]

That is soooooo fucking awesome. sorry, can't help.

[CanadianSnowman]

The Necronomicon is fiction, same as the bible and the Koran, only stupid fucks try to see them as anything else.

[Rucklo]

Yeah, watch out for the three-headed blue demon, who runs around on both arms and legs. He can be found at the middle top to the left on the right corner in my school-calendar from 5'th grade (after that he transfered to another dimension, I just recently heard that he's gotten a job to hunt down and tail-rape supersticious n00berts). He's a nice guy, really though, so don't be scared. Just make sure you don't resist when he inserts his tail in your bum, from what I heard, it will hurt alot more if you do.

[RubberTrucky]

Maybe you should try opening the lament configuration next.

[Rucklo]

here's a picture of him, btw (he's a fast runner, too fast for the camera lol)

[xiaoxiaoforever]

At 3/27/09 12:18 PM, Rucklo wrote: here's a picture of him, btw (he's a fast runner, too fast for the camera lol)

Fail.

I personally hold very little credence to the idea. Still, quite a story.

[HeartbreakHoldout]

At 3/27/09 11:50 AM, phsychopath wrote: Last night I read a copy of the Necronomicon that I bought from the store. Inside I found a incantation near the end of the book stating that most men on Earth have at least one spiritual parasite which start's off twice as big as the average man.

That doesn't make any goddamn sense. "Most" people can't have something that is above average. Learn maths you fucking spiritualist morons!

[Bayliss]

What the hell? I highly doubt this happened, even if it did. I'm sure there is a explanation for it.

[OneGunn]

Well, if you're being serious, google up some weird anti-incantation of something to fight against it.

Everything has to have a way out, so you're bound to find someway to stop it.

Good luck :|, maybe it was just coincidence.

[Kidiri]

At 3/27/09 12:28 PM, HeartbreakHoldout wrote: That doesn't make any goddamn sense. "Most" people can't have something that is above average. Learn maths you fucking spiritualist morons!

I think he meant that the thing is twice the size of an average man.

[WolvenKind]

Is there a real version of the necronomicon you can own? It said so in The Shadow Over Innsmouth, but that book is fiction.

[1337DoomReaper]

At 3/27/09 12:18 PM, Rucklo wrote: here's a picture of him, btw (he's a fast runner, too fast for the camera lol)

this picture made me speechless

not in a good way

[DroopyA]

At 3/27/09 12:28 PM, HeartbreakHoldout wrote:

At 3/27/09 11:50 AM, phsychopath wrote: Last night I read a copy of the Necronomicon that I bought from the store. Inside I found a incantation near the end of the book stating that most men on Earth have at least one spiritual parasite which start's off twice as big as the average man.

That doesn't make any goddamn sense. "Most" people can't have something that is above average. Learn maths you fucking spiritualist morons!

What? Let's say the average man is 6 foot tall. The spiritual parasite is twice as big as that when it first spawns. So the average parasite is, on average, 12 feet tall when it's born inside a man... which means a newborn baby might have a 12 foot tall spirtual parasite inside of it.

But not always... there's no rule that says the parasite has to be this big. So it's possible a 7 foot tall man has a 2 foot tall spirtual parasite. After all, these are averages, not exact figures. Because the average size is twice the size of an average man, and the average man (the majority of us) have a parasite that's at least the average size, so it's safe to say that the majority (or most) of the male population has a spiritual parasite inside of them thats at least 12 foot tall.

or "most men on Earth have at least one spiritual parasite which start's off twice as big as the average man"

Maybe you should learn maths? It makes sense to me.

[Someone1989]

while I do believe in spirits and the such I seriously doubt there is any truth to this story. If there is I'd say that it could've been the result of you experiencing a moment of mental weakness and so your imagination ran wild so to speak. Your story sends chills up my spine, but that is all it is, just illogical chills that will pass with time. So...I'd say just give it a "wow maybe I shouldn't do that again" and go on about your business...if it even really happened.

[HeartbreakHoldout]

At 3/27/09 12:52 PM, Kidiri wrote: I think he meant that the thing is twice the size of an average man.

Ooooooohhh, I misread it. Still, though...

[CapnCrunchDaPimp]

At 3/27/09 11:57 AM, CanadianSnowman wrote: The Necronomicon is fiction, same as the bible and the Koran, only stupid fucks try to see them as anything else.

That is pretty badass though, and interesting.

[Bryan]

Don't read that freaky physcological shit.

[MisterRPG]

At 3/27/09 01:55 PM, WolvenKind wrote: Is there a real version of the necronomicon you can own? It said so in The Shadow Over Innsmouth, but that book is fiction.

To my understanding, the Necronomicon is not a real book, has no actual basis in real life, and originates strictly from Lovecraft's imagination, and his unique take on and appreciation of shared universe styled fiction. That's why you see references to it in other works. Lovecraft is a hugely influential horror writer in his own time and ours, and giving people license to share his work is like candy to authors, aspiring or otherwise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necronomico n#Origin

[Rucklo]

Clatu, verata, ni*COUGHCOUGH*

[Psychopath]

At 3/27/09 02:37 PM, HeartbreakHoldout wrote:

At 3/27/09 12:52 PM, Kidiri wrote: I think he meant that the thing is twice the size of an average man.

Ooooooohhh, I misread it. Still, though...

Who ever said that the parasite had to cling from the inside? I mean, where do tick's go when they cling to you?

[snottyjim]

Looks like you' re doomed. Tough

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

At 3/27/09 12:18 PM, Rucklo wrote: here's a picture of him, btw (he's a fast runner, too fast for the camera lol)

Fail. Also, the book lies to you.

[Psychopath]

At 3/27/09 08:07 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote:

At 3/27/09 12:18 PM, Rucklo wrote: here's a picture of him, btw (he's a fast runner, too fast for the camera lol)

Fail. Also, the book lies to you.

Then I shall torch the fucker and run like hell to the nearest chapel.