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Why i'll never be a mod.

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Kantus
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 26th, 2009 @ 10:24 PM Reply

This is the day when one brave user stood up to the Tryannay that are Mods.
When we find your body in the river we will salute you.


Dr Pepper Crew
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AXE APRy4OA
If you like Dr Pepper join.//////Watch the video it's hilarious.

Mcbanhammer
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 26th, 2009 @ 10:29 PM Reply

Your story does not seem to suck at all.

Boris for mod..
Boris-4-U
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 26th, 2009 @ 10:39 PM Reply

At 3/26/09 10:05 PM, Monny wrote: TL;DR.

you dick.


NG Mafia
Caaan it beeee that it was allllll so simple then..

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Helogale
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 05:48 AM Reply

Very interestingly disturbing yet enjoyable story.


Thanks to Shakyjake for the sig.

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Peacekid
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 05:54 AM Reply

didnt you make this topic already


Right behind you

Boris-4-U
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 05:57 AM Reply

At 3/27/09 05:54 AM, Peacekid wrote: didnt you make this topic already

It's been bumped. Unless you're suggesting that i made this topic a long time ago in which i wouldn't remember even if i did.


NG Mafia
Caaan it beeee that it was allllll so simple then..

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Montycarlo
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 06:06 AM Reply

Entertaining.


Although practicality beats purity.
Errors should never pass silently.
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.

MasterRater
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 08:42 AM Reply

At 3/26/09 10:24 PM, Kantus wrote: This is the day when one brave user stood up to the Tryannay that are Mods.
When we find your body in the river we will salute you.

agreed


Eying little girls with bad intent.

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CanadianSnowman
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 08:56 AM Reply

At 3/27/09 06:06 AM, Orange wrote: Hm yeah dick mods suck. I think I had an argument with Dry-Ice or something and he gave me extra banstick for it.

Don't you love the fact that you can get banned from the BBS for stuff you do outside of it, cause the mod has a giant black cock up his ass.

Earfetish
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 09:02 AM Reply

Ozcar towered above me, testosterone flowing through his veins and sexual desires bursting through his mind.

"Uh, hello, Ozcar," I said. I'd met this queer Mexican fellow sleeping on my doorstep. I'd caught him looking at me a few times, the faintest hint of lust glimmering in his pupil whenever he caught me bending over. He told me a lot about how he works out, does martial arts, puts pancakes on his head and gets his hair cut - all incredibly dull stuff that I had responded to with grunts and sighs. I was beginning to regret letting him sleep indoors, next to the radiator in the bathroom, but my charitable instincts were more important than my sense of smell and enjoyment of sanity.

Ozcar grinned. He waddled towards me, his crotch leading him. I gulped, completely aware of what was going to come.

I shuffled into a corner. Ozcar followed me, slowly unbuttoning his pants. The gross stench of rancid-meat tacos and burritos he'd been eating drifted towards me, flowing gently into my nose and making me instantly gag. He smelt like a sewer rat would after a few days festering behind the refrigerator.

Using his karate skills, he pinned me to the floor and started to try to force his tongue down my throat. I turned my face away, nausea filling my stomach, and he licked the side of my cheek, plunging his lips into it. He kept me down with his bodyweight and used his hands to move my face to reach his mouth, finally locking me in a deep French kiss. I pushed his head off mine and spat in his eye.

"Fuck you," I snarled, bringing my knee up to his testicles and feeling them crunch against me knee. He got off me and started rolling around, clutching his balls.

Before I could react, he whipped a gun out of his pocket and shot me in the leg. I collapsed on a heap. He rose to his feet again as I writhed like a stuck beetle on the floor.

"That was a fuckin' sucker move," I shout through gritted teeth.

"Everyone deserves arse to penetrate," Ozcar laughed. He dropped his pants and revealed a penis like a tree-stump- about 4 inches in diameter and 4 long. I grasped at my leg, trying to ignore the pain and get away, but Ozcar climbed on top of me, pulled off my pants, and shoved his cock into my arse.

It was far too wide for comfort - it was like having an arm up there. A very short arm, of course. Ozcar thrust his dick further and further inside me. I felt it poking back my feces and finally turning it all into a frothy mess of Mexican semen and poo, which I imagined dribbling out in an effervescent glory, a fountain of bodily excretions blasting out of my anus like an enema.

It began to get painful. Blood began to dribble off Ozcar's penis and land on my arse-cheeks - my blood, from my pierced intestines. His bronzed Mexican body dominated over me. I couldn't handle it. I'm going to go down fighting, I thought.

This fucking hobo who I'd invited into my house through the goodness of my heart was raping me. I span around, tugging his erect penis out of my anus with such force I felt like it had torn. I grabbed Ozcar by the face and pushed my thumbs into his eyes, crushing them against his eye sockets. He stood up, his cock now deflating and more flaccid, crying blood like a statue. I span around, picked up a vegetable knife, and thrust it into his chest, pulling it up through his solar plexis and tearing his ribcage in half. He choked and coughed up a small amount of shining crimson, before falling to his knees and landing on the floor. I pulled the knife out with a 'schlop'. He fell on his face, blood surrounding him in a deep firey redness; he lay spread-eagle, dead and utterly still.

old shit - 10/14/05

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/3612 66

DJ-Keen
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 09:11 AM Reply

Reading that story REALLY made me feel the need to stab something with my penis.

Brb.

JackPhantasm
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 11:27 AM Reply

Ears we should have an erotica battle.

EnconXV
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 11:59 AM Reply

At 3/26/09 05:13 PM, Boris-4-U wrote: However there was one mod who never once cracked a smile his entire life. He was a hollow shell of a man with no soul,

The first name that came to mind was Zerok.

the only facial expression that was ever seen on him was so distorted and evil the grinch would cringe upon seeing it.

Oh! So that's why he uses papers with faces on them to express emotions.

Why i'll never be a mod.

Boris-4-U
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 04:47 PM Reply

At 3/27/09 09:02 AM, Earfetish wrote:
old shit - 10/14/05

You always have to be the center of attention don't you, jealous much?


NG Mafia
Caaan it beeee that it was allllll so simple then..

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TheMagicailLlama
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 04:52 PM Reply

Cool story bro


:C

Tartly
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 29th, 2009 @ 03:23 AM Reply

lol nice one.


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Tekken9292
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 29th, 2009 @ 03:29 AM Reply

Huge Berlin Wall o' Text is huge.
I am not intrigued.


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The-Great-One
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 29th, 2009 @ 03:33 AM Reply

It's because your username isn't either kickass enough or because it has a number in it... or in all lowercase.

Now if your username was just Boris that would be a different story.


| The Interviewer | Review Terms 3.0 | [This Space For Rent ] | Club Stoic |

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metallicafan57
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Mar. 29th, 2009 @ 03:40 AM Reply

I don't know about you guys, but this is the best story I have ever read!

Earfetish
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 08:18 PM Reply

At 3/27/09 04:47 PM, Boris-4-U wrote:
At 3/27/09 09:02 AM, Earfetish wrote:
old shit - 10/14/05
You always have to be the center of attention don't you, jealous much?

Jealous? Point out one decent example of poetic use of language in your piece. I think mine is frankly rather poor, but I wrote it when I was 17, 1 year younger than you, and I put a little bit of nice language in it; a couple of decent puns, dissonance, contrast between separate ideas, patterning, parallelism and deviation. It's not that amazing but I'm certainly not jealous of your piece; you didn't even capitalise 'I' as a pronoun, nor use good grammar, aside from the bewildering lack of creative talent.

Next time, try and focus, at least slightly, on making your piece a clever piece of writing. At least attempt to manipulate words in a clever way; actually, re-draft your work at least once before you share it. Read over it and alter it so it's better. At least once.

lol I'm a cunt

be pleased I bumped your story

RedStripedd
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 08:29 PM Reply

I know I would've sucked it


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Lordovbacons
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 08:50 PM Reply

Ahhh many lol's with that story indeed nice work :D


There is no way to know what you will be, but there is one thing we all have in common. That is we all die

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FUNKbrs
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 08:56 PM Reply

At 3/26/09 06:22 PM, Evark wrote: I love fantasy. WRITE ME ANOTHER, CLOWN.

Yeah, and WTF? I'm the hateful fucking mod around here. YOU fucking pet kittens.

Don't lie; I have video.


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

TailsPrower
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:33 PM Reply

At 3/26/09 07:30 PM, MilestoneRazor wrote:
At 3/26/09 06:23 PM, lawlmaster wrote: nice story, but Evark isn't THAT bad.
Um, he is.

Seconded. Evark is but a big fat bully who only shows up when you need the help of a kind, caring mod because he's the complete opposite and wants to fuck with you and your sign-up date :'(

emo corner

Everywhere I go, there's a sergeant there.

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Nintendavin
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:38 PM Reply

You're definitely not gonna be a mod anymore after this thread...
Honestly, why do people want to become one so bad? So that you can get revenge on your enemies? Or is it he feeling of being on a higher level than everyone else?

Well, if you want to be, you have to earn it.

Fautzo
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:59 PM Reply

THIS THREAD WILL BE LOCKED AND I WILL BE BANNED BECAUSE IT WILL BE LOCKED


dude

Spilda-Bongwata
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 10:12 PM Reply

It's true. Evark's a buzzkill.


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InnerChild548
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 10:21 PM Reply

Holy crap, that was funny!

Absolutely hilarious!

Tom's cock was my favorite part.


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YourFutureMaster
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 10:34 PM Reply

Are you sure you mean Evark and not Funkbrs?


Proud member of Funkbrs the Great's Church of Hate.
I hate this guy
This is why I hate apple (computer company)

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HandsomePete
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Response to Why i'll never be a mod. Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 11:26 PM Reply

1) Evark isn't that bad.
2) The fact that people are so desperate to be a mod and gain worthless, limited e-Fame is beyond me. The ONLY thing you do as a mod is say, "Ok, that topic was worthless." and lock it... that's it. It's not that glamourous.


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