fun fact: today, in the leftovers of my fried chicken, i found that the right lung hadn't been removed in the piece of i was eating. it looked like a miniature brain and it took me a half-second to realize what it was. in my horror i immediately threw it in the trash of course, and washed my hands repeatedly to get off the smell of the deadness and ate a whole bag of sweet synthetic multi-coloured halloween candy to forget all about it.
to no avail.
i kept thinking about it, and realized that the trash truck was delayed this week and it'd be until next tuesday before it would be picked up, and i swear i could actually hear it! it was just barely exhaling faintly in the kitchen. i couldnt leave it in the bag all week. to my shame, i rummaged through and found it, walked onto the porch and thought about throwing it in the woods, but what if the cats brought it back in? my poor mother, her heart is already so weak. my mind sprinted furiously through different methods of disposal, before settling on the most idiotic. in my panic i began tearing up the carpet in my room, there's a spot where the floorboards were dampened and weak, and i buried it under the slats. the dampness set back in, and i couldn't hear it anymore. all was well i thought. surely it'll rot even faster and leave me alone.
unfortunately the neighbors heard my ruckus. since it was past midnight, and since neighbor is a policeman for the adjacent county (weird, i know) that old intuition must not have let him rest. he knocked pleasantly. i let him in, pleasantly. i didnt want to let on that i was being driven in a fit of madness all because of a chicken lung.
we were soon talking politics over a drink or two (he was off today but he works nights so the lateness of the hour didn't bother him) but i started hearing it. the wheezing. i must have started talking pretty loud, his face seemed to grow puzzled at my demeaner. but how couldn't he hear it? i cracked some crude jokes hoping in vain that maybe i could get his laughter to drown out the sound, i even told the good joke i knew about the aborted fetus - but that sound was beating about in my head. i could smell it! i could feel the breath of those horrible exhales sliding over my face! THAT HORRIBLE SMELL OF ROTTING FOWL. i spasmed and began to quake out coughs as if to shake off the breath.....then the sound stopped.... was it over?.....my friend looked at me in worry but a faint smile of reassurance returned to my haggard face.
thats when i heard it crow.
all in an instant i leapt from my chair like a wildman and tore at the floor, my poor guest fell back in horror at my madness, as i screamed:
THERE!!! THERE IT IS!! CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT?!? THERE IS THE WHEEZING LUNG FROM THE BIRD OF SATAN HIMSELF, THERE UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS!!!!!
so yea, you can use that luis if you want.
