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At 3/20/09 02:53 PM, the-dz wrote: Cut myself to pieces with the knife, then I rope myself together in the form of a slice of ham.
I then remove the ham from the Sandvich, and place myself in there.
The cops will come over to inspect, but find nothing except a ham Sandvich.
They will then leave the area, and after that I ask my ducks to put me back together.

One problem with that, ducks are assholes, they would just eat you, you need geese instead.

At 3/20/09 02:56 PM, Ragnarokia wrote:

At 3/20/09 02:53 PM, the-dz wrote: Cut myself to pieces with the knife, then I rope myself together in the form of a slice of ham.
I then remove the ham from the Sandvich, and place myself in there.
The cops will come over to inspect, but find nothing except a ham Sandvich.
They will then leave the area, and after that I ask my ducks to put me back together.

One problem with that, ducks are assholes, they would just eat you, you need geese instead.

Shit, you're right.

NEW PLAN
I cut the ducks to pieces, then rope them together in the form of a ham.

I then speak to the police, and tell them I will cut the ducks to shreds if they don't bring me two geese.

The police have no idea I've already gutted them and shit, and so they will get me my geese.

I then use the ham from the Sandvich to disguise the geese as ducks, stuff the ducks in the Sandvich, then I use any extra duck I might have left over to disguise myself as a goose.

The police come, confiscate the goose (me), the ducks (the geese), and eat the Sandvich (the ducks).

They will then release me and the geese in the wild, and there I shall ask the geese to put me back together.

Stab myself with the knife

Have some hawt bondage sex with the rope and ducks and sandwich.

Share the sandwich with the duck and show that I'm not a criminal, but just a simple duck boy.

At 3/19/09 10:42 PM, ghostface619 wrote: throw the sammich on the ground and watch the cops fight to the death

HA those fatties.

There's nothing funny about a ham sandwich

If you're surrounded by twenty fucking cops, then the only smart thing to do would be to surrender and go to jail. Even if you're innocent, there's a 99% chance that they'll capture and restrain you if you appear aggressive.

Being the antagonist in a situation with 1 cop is a different story, but unless you're a fucking warlock, you cannot stand up to 20 of them.

It's very simple.

Use the knife to cut the sandwich, so every cop could get a piece. Later tie yourself with the rope and tell the cops that you are caught already by some civilian , so they can go. After they leave, cut the ropes with the knife and run.

Simple right?

Masturbate to the two ducks and eat the sandwich

At 3/20/09 03:21 PM, tman555 wrote: Masturbate to the two ducks and eat the sandwich

Rule 34 states that there must be duck porn somewhere.

Eat the sandwich, throw the ducks at the cops for a distraction, then run.

At 3/19/09 10:21 PM, YourFutureMaster wrote: COOOOOOOOOOOOCk

pull a live corpse.

from the dumpster, and throw it at them

At 3/20/09 04:09 PM, AnVillain wrote:

At 3/19/09 10:21 PM, YourFutureMaster wrote: COOOOOOOOOOOOCk

When did I say that?

Hang myself, i dont want to be anally raped

Kill the ducks and kill a cop and I'd let them shoot me down. BUT I WILL LEAVE A SECRET MESSAGE IN THE SANDWICH WITH THE KNIFE CARVING BUT THE MESSAGE WILL REMAIN A SECRET TILL THIS HAPPENS TO ME.

At 3/20/09 04:12 PM, YourFutureMaster wrote:

At 3/20/09 04:09 PM, AnVillain wrote:

At 3/19/09 10:21 PM, YourFutureMaster wrote: COOOOOOOOOOOOCk

When did I say that?

i wanted to make the sentence short so there's less reading for them peeps

I would tie one duck to the end of the rope, let it fly up to the helicopter, then climb up the rope, attach a knife to the second duck, tehn throw the sandwich bread onto teh cops, so the duck with the knife flies into tehm and kills them, then jump into the helicopter, pull up the rope, then use it to hang the helicopter pilots, then takeover teh helicopter, then fling the ham out of the plane like a frisbee because I cant think of any other use for it

actually I would jsut wonder what I could have possibly done to have that many cops around me in the first place

Kick, scream and cry..... the choke a cop with the rope and threaten the other cops with the knife (while using him as a human shield), then i would move away with him while choking him then run into the police car and drive up a parking complex and use the rope to climb down the complex once all the police climb up. Did it for the Lulz!

At 3/19/09 10:21 PM, YourFutureMaster wrote: You have a rope, a knife, two ducks, and a ham sandwich

What do you do?

1. Use the knife to cut the rope in half.
2. Tie each half of the rope to a duck.
3. Eat the ham sandwich for sustenance.
4. Use your rope-ducks as flails to bludgeon the police to death with, then steal a car to make a getaway.
5. Drive to the harbour and steal a boat.
6. Sail to Cuba.
7. Live out the rest of my days as a tobacco-farmer.
8. Die.
9. Be buried.
10. Decompose.

I Would Stroke My Duck.

See what I... Nevermind.

Eat the sandwich and kill myself with the knife. They'll be confused with what to do with the duck and the rope.

Tease them about not having sandwhiches.

At 3/20/09 05:34 PM, RTL wrote: I Would Stroke My Duck.

What would that accomplish?

Make a big show of throwing both ducks and the sandwich into the air. Then balance the knife on your nose while hitting on the police officer closest to you. If it all works out, they'll deem you insane, and you'll live a carefree life in a mental institution.

I tie the cop over with the rope, tell him to take the knife and cut my sammich then share it with the ducks

Simply threaten the ducks in the most likely situation that peta step in.

gie the rope around the ducks necks swing them around to snap thier necks. slash the ducks throats,, pour the blood on the ham sandwich and then jam it up your asss screaming stuff about god and george washington.. after arrested ... plead insanity...no profit

cut the duck open, shove the sandwich inside = duckbomb

I would just eat the sandwich, then let them shoot me.