Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

herp durf hahHAHEAHAHAha

These rules are good, as good as rules can be,
Although I think I'll break rules two and three,
The truth of rule four can not be denied,
The "women" now have no place left to hide,
The bans, the fines, Newgrounds can only grow,
T-shirts are great, I lack the room to stow,
Icons as tools by god it took so long,
This feature should have been here all along,
I want to hear a joke, send a PM,
But make it good, one laugh per day, a gem,
The question rule, I'm doubtful it will stick,
For answers there needs to be some questions,
But the fifth rule, of scientology,
It smells like piss, it won't apply to me!

At 3/12/09 08:56 AM, RKThrilla wrote:

At 3/12/09 08:21 AM, q13qew wrote: Is this for seriosly or its kind of a joke.Cause thats pretty gay and lame if this are the new rules :(

What do you think?

Joke seriosly i mean those rules sucks alot.So joke yay haha

i propose that mods cant ban my alts lmao.

At 3/12/09 09:16 AM, Luis wrote: i propose that mods cant ban my alts lmao.

Fuck you, trouble maker.

lmao

You were serious? Ah, I was hoping this thread would be a Bill Maher tribute!

Although I don't quite agree with the rules
I guess I have no choice but to obey
From here on out, I'll do as you say
Those who decide not too, are just a bunch of fools

Hopefully this will help the new Newgrounds fans
learn to use their head when they post
and take the time to say the most
without the needless flaming tripe that always results in bans

From here out I do as you ask
Sonet form posting is all I will do
I understand on Newgrounds, freedom of speech isn't free
I have to admit that this is a difficult task
and I'll accept the challenge but only for you
I just hope this gets easier, it's quiet hard for me

At 3/12/09 07:15 AM, JarrodK wrote: That's fucking stupid rools.

Don't worry, pox, I'll ban him for you. He obviously needs to read the rules again.

At 3/12/09 07:10 AM, poxpower wrote: 3- Being mean to depressed losers = ban.Due to the recent school shootings and Myspace suicides, we feel that it's necessary to always lie to social outcasts to avoid disaster. All attempts to bring one of these pathetic rejects down will be considered attempted murder and the FBI will promptly show up at your door.

Up till here, I believed you.

At 3/12/09 08:49 AM, WilliWowza wrote: herp durf hahHAHEAHAHAha

Durpee durp doh

At 3/12/09 07:10 AM, poxpower wrote: After convening with the elder council for weeks, we have come up with 10 new BBS rules that will go into effect IMMEDIATELY... tomorrow.

Oh have you now. This ought to be good.

This is not a joke.

Well if it is, I don't think it'll be very funny.

========================

1- All jokes are to be confined to private messages. We're sick of seeing you people joke around, confusing stupider users. So from now on, jokes must be made via PM at a rate of ONE PER DAY MAX.

Yeah, like you're going to waste precious time going through our inboxes and others to makes sure of all these jokes.

2- Sarcasm is bannable ( 31 days ).

Oh no... sarcasm is bannable. Darn I guess all the funny is gone from the Newgrounds BBS. All that original gold is gone. You just killed magic you bastard.

3- Being mean to depressed losers = ban.Due to the recent school shootings and Myspace suicides, we feel that it's necessary to always lie to social outcasts to avoid disaster. All attempts to bring one of these pathetic rejects down will be considered attempted murder and the FBI will promptly show up at your door.

The emos can still go fuck their "pitiful" selves, I can take down the cops.

4- All "female" accounts will be deleted.There hasn't been a single female since 1996 and people just use the "gender=female" stat as a joke. Convert your status to "male" right now or be banned.

Bye bye Gagsy, ReNaeNae, JadeTheAssasin, and Elios... wait what?

5- You can't make fun of Scientology.Scientology is not a cult. It's real. It's the one true religion. After Mr. Fulp's recent conversion, this site is now strictly pro-Scientology.

So, making fun of Jewish people is still okay right?

6- Bans will be converted to fines. To be paid via paypal in US$. Fines start at one dollar for day 1, two for day 2, three for day 3 and so on. A 31 day ban will set you back $496. The money MUST be paid or you will stand trial and face a severe prison sentence.

I'm going for the Jackpot.

7- Posters are expected to contribute to NG financially at a rate of 1 t-shirt per month.You must place an order for one t-shirt at the NG store before the 15th of each month or face a 500$ fine and account duplication ( we make another account for you so you have to buy more t-shirts ). Failure to comply will be seen as an act of treason towards the US government.

Yeah! Free Alt Accounts!
wai-

8- All level icons reset to tools. For more accurate user representation, all user avatars will now be represented by various tools. The more money you contribute ( through bans or t-shirt purchases ) the bigger a tool you'll be.

Can I be a Garden Hose?

9- No more questions. All posts will have to be statements. If you see a question, you may not answer it. Only the mods may answer questions, as they have the answers. All the answers.

Can I answer my own question?

10- All posts must be sonnets. Except mine.

Screw you and your poetry.

=============

Have a good day.

HAVE A NICE DAY!
:D

Why must all the new posts as sonnetts be?
Why must we all become craftsmen of prose?
Doth forum require more symmetry?
And why, pray tell, should accounts be closed
If it has been made by the fairer sex?
This site shall become but a sausage fest
User may be male, but how will you check
If they're unwilling to shouw us their breast?
And scientology just makes no sense
Must we really bite our tongues from now on
While blindly spending our dollars and cents
On t-shirts and stickers instead of porn?
I shall from now on choose to ignore this
'cause, to be honest, you're taking the piss.

Win is a word that describes this thread.
Pox, you and I really should be wed.
It would be so cool
I'd be all like "loool"
and then my legs I would spread.

Whenever mods say something, noobs who don't know how moderation works in here (Mods>You) are bound to believe it.

Here the moderators aren't selected because of their capability, no. They just pretend to be good for some years and boom, WHO'S THE NEWEST MOD IN THE HOUSE.

so these rules don't start till tomorrow? OH SHIT THAT WAS A QUESTION. ohhhh nooooooo I'm sooooo scared. hey look sarcasm. oh yeah and scienfagy is gay

OH GOD PLEASE DON'T BAN MY ASS!

not that funny

I love these new rules <sarcasm>

see what i did thar

At 3/12/09 12:17 PM, chrisG755 wrote: not that funny

This thread is very clever
Like you wish you could be.
You wish you could be a mod like pox,
Like Jade, heck, even like me!
Maybe someday you'll understand
But until the I guarantee
That you will most definitely be banned
For not following the new rules, you see.

oh pox, why won't you respond
to my hilarious pm's?
why, those jokes don't find you fond?
i thought that we could be friends.

what do you call a lease on false teeth?
a dental rental of course.
i figured these lines would appease.
nude pics be sent to the source.

but alas my inbox is empty.
my email is sickenly the same.
funny my jokes must not be
my pants are filling with shame.

i think this was a shakespearean sonnet.
but i would not bet my money upon it.

At 3/12/09 07:26 AM, Ryan wrote: Why put these off until tomorrow, I want these rules NOW.

This depresses me.

Hahaha, you're depressed.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Also, Scientology sucks.

Seriously? How is this going to work?

Mods attempting humor is like dieing from aids. Long and painful.

At 3/12/09 07:26 AM, Ryan wrote: Why put these off until tomorrow, I want these rules NOW.

This depresses me.

Ryan you're such a bad influence. ;)

wink. Wink. WINK

At 3/12/09 07:10 AM, poxpower wrote: This is not a joke.

You sure cause it defiantly sounds like it to me! I have never bought a shirt!
I best go and buy one. Wait i don't want one. I'm not buying one so ner!

Jesus fucking christ, I haven't laughed this hard before. Well played.

On the day that newgrounds put these rules in place
choas and mayhem arrived in there wake
It was a harsh reality the users had to face
and for mony they simply couldn't take
None could believe it could be true
and many were driven quite mad
others were at a lose of what to do
the whole situation was all very sad.
there was rioting in the streets that day
and suffering across the lands
No more BBS posters came out to play
the forums were as barren as desert sands
than the world was smashed to bits by a comit
it all left me wondering, what the hell is a sonnet?

and who said mods can't dick-around on the forums?

Thank you very much Pox I needed a good laugh.

My day has improved so much. :)

You made me go lolololol

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
As he wiped his chin
He said with a grin
If my ear was a cunt i would fuck it