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I recently got hired as a bartender and I start this weekend. Now my parents, who never go out on a weekend, are going to be showing up at my work this Saturday. I'm going to be having fun with the patrons, flirting with the girls, pointing out hot chicks to the guys and telling them to go for it, and basically trying to get people fucking loaded so I can make more money.
My parents are the type of people that are churchy and judgmental, they'll be having a good time, but later on my dad will say things like "Why would those girls wear those skirts so high? It doesn't make sense to me" and "You see all these guys trying to pick up girls and it's just so funny you almost feel sorry for them." so right away you can see this isn't going to be fun for me...Or is it?
I have a brilliant plan that is full of lulz and possible drama that will make them never bother me at work again.
When they're sitting down and having a good time, I'm going to get the waitress to give my mom a drink, but instead of it being from me I'm going to get the waitress to tell my mom it's from some hot dude (I'll pick one and get he waitress to point him out).
Then a couple hours later, I'm going to do the same thing except my dad is going to receive a drink from some hot chick (I already have one in mind, she's a milf).
So what do you think of my diabolical plan Newgrounds?
Just tell them that I don't want them to visit me?
Learn how to make a better thread?
TL;DR : I'm buying my parents drinks and saying they're from other people to make jealous and never want to visit me at work again.
I fucking love it! It's a brilliant idea!
Just make sure you can do a good job of acting surprised about it afterwards, and you've got a perfect recipe for making sure they never go there again. :D
And make sure no-one starts a bar fight about it either, but meh; you knew that already, right?
It's a good plan, but I don't know your parents, so I can't say for certain if it'll work as you've planned it or if it will spiral out of control by such an event. Best option would of course be just asking them not to visit.
At 3/4/09 01:47 PM, Prinzy2 wrote:TL;DR : I'm buying my parents drinks and saying they're from other people to make jealous and never want to visit me at work again.
I love this plan of yours. I sure hope it works.
At 3/4/09 01:48 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: Thallium is your friend.
And anti-depressants are yours.
At 3/4/09 01:53 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote:And make sure no-one starts a bar fight about it either, but meh; you knew that already, right?
Lol, It would be funny to see that, but they're pretty level headed about that sort of stuff.
At 3/4/09 02:07 PM, Cyberdevil wrote: Best option would of course be just asking them not to visit.
Then they'll give me guilt trip, plus I've already given them hints that I don't want them there. This is new for me and I think it'll at least keep my on my game. Unless I do this I'll probably have a bad time because it'll be on my mind.
At 3/4/09 02:08 PM, Cyberdevil wrote: Btw, congrats on the new job! All you need now is to learn how to properly slide/spin/throw/juggle bottles/glasses in a professionally insane manner,
HEY DOUBLE POSTER >:( Thanks ;P
I'd love to learn how to flair eventually, I'd get some crazy tips then.
At 3/4/09 02:10 PM, TheLameSauce wrote: what if it works too well and your parents get divorced?
Well sacrifices have to be made.
Plus I'll tell them if things get out of hand.
At 3/4/09 02:18 PM, ForNoReason wrote: sounds like a good time! Let us know how the react. Sounds like it could be funny as hell.or fail miserably.
Oh it'll work as long as the waitress does exactly what I say. If it were an anonymous drink, then that might raise some suspicion.
Haha, if your parents are strict enough, it could kick something off.
But all in all, it seems pretty awesome.
It'd be cool if you could film it, from a distance or something.
Good luck, hope all goes well.
At 3/4/09 06:34 PM, Truth wrote: you don't have the guts to do that
Aha, but I am crawling out of my shell and experiencing the world outside of the family nest, if I'm working with a waitress who's cool, laid back, and wants to help me pull this off, I'll be fine. If only the two bitchy ones are working then I might have a tough time.
your playing with fire. what if they enjoy getting free drinks? what if it leads to seperation of parents?
At 3/4/09 06:50 PM, Truth wrote: your playing with fire. what if they enjoy getting free drinks? what if it leads to seperation of parents?
Well shit happens...
Just kidding, I'll tell them it was me and they'll give me a little shit. But in all seriousness, it'll make them uncomfortable, not over the top jealous. My mom is use to other women having a crush on my dad.
Nice job on, well getting the job. I think you must be pretty happy to get loads of money by making customers by more. And nice plan too. Although, you're probably going to be fucked if they find out it was you. But anyway, hope you succeed. That would be hilarious.
Haha, that sounds like a great plan. Don't forget to post results!
I'm not cool enough to have a nice sig.
Cool plan but who are going to actually flirt with them?
Oh and my parents don't care about that, hell they tell me I can do whatever I want aslong as I'm protected
I am the all the one and the master of the lulz...those who deny my mastery of lulz shall be smittin with a brick in there pants I give no mercy, no quarter, no rights.
That's a good plan.Do you have brothers and sisters?Maybe you should do it to them.
Life is nothing without Newgrounds.
I'm very interested in the outcome of this event. Just make sure that you have that gap between the two drinks, as otherwise your parents would get suspicious and probably find out about the set-up.
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At 3/4/09 01:47 PM, Prinzy2 wrote:
A So what do you think of my diabolical plan Newgrounds?
D Just tell them that I don't want them to visit me?
E Learn how to make a better thread?
I pick F.
At 3/4/09 07:46 PM, killslasher wrote: Although, you're probably going to be fucked if they find out it was you.
More likely then not they'll laugh about it. It's a great story to tell people.
At 3/4/09 07:56 PM, WingCommand wrote: Enjoy your divorced parents.
It's been covered.
At 3/4/09 07:58 PM, Robojester wrote: Haha, that sounds like a great plan. Don't forget to post results!
Twill be done.
At 3/4/09 08:08 PM, Masterzakk wrote: Cool plan but who are going to actually flirt with them?
NO NO NO NO NO!!! I just want to make them uncomfortable. The worst that will probably happen is my dad will thank the girl he thought bought him a drink and she'll say something like "Wtf, I never bought you a drink". I'm not trying to lead them on some wild goose chase lol.
At 3/4/09 08:11 PM, SethBlake wrote: That's a good plan.Do you have brothers and sisters?Maybe you should do it to them.
My oldest doesn't drink anymore, my other brother would get in a fight, and my sister lives in Toronto lol. I wouldn't waste my money on her though, she'll probably get free drinks anyway.
At 3/4/09 08:12 PM, agnryscotsman wrote: it may not work. They might see you talking to them, or the waitress won't cooperate.
The biggest thing is the waitress, I'll only have worked there two days so I don't know if she'll go along with it. I'm the bartender so talking won't be a big deal.
At 3/4/09 08:13 PM, Metal-Sonic-v2 wrote: I'm very interested in the outcome of this event. Just make sure that you have that gap between the two drinks, as otherwise your parents would get suspicious and probably find out about the set-up.
Bingo, I'll be wait a couple hours between drinks. I'll have a jolly laugh.