Another normal weekend...

[FUNKbrs]

So last weekend, I did what I always do; go hang out with my buddies and get fitshaced. My buddy Rod broke his leg in three places falling off of a ladder, so me, Tony Myers, Justin Sane, Justin Goldrich, Kat, Kelly, local hardcore punk band Thorax Hum, my new band Fires of the Arsonist, and a few other close friends decided to do a little benefit party for him.

However, considering this was a FUNKbrs normal weekend, this can mean only one thing: HATE.

AND THERE WAS HATE.

Oh yes, sweet delicious bloody hatred was soon found to be sprayed, strewn, and otherwise distrubuted liberally.

Sure, I had to squeeze my fat ass into a shirt a size or two too small, but hey, small price to pay for a little fun, right?

Oh, yeah, right. I forgot.

pics or it didn't happen

[piratey]

That's a video, pics or it didn't happen

[STEM]

All you fucking do is stand there! We need to see some enthusiasm!

[TehSlapHappy]

At 2/27/09 05:21 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: So last weekend, I did what I always do; go hang out with my buddies and get fitshaced.

What the hell is fishaced?

[MasterBalls]

Nothin' like getting fitshaced on a Friday night.

[ForNoReason]

FUCKING HELL! You people scare the shit out of me! But I am glad you had fun :)

[Master117chief]

Wow, that's gotta hurt.

[Sheizenhammer]

Umm..... You're the 'referee' in that, right?

What is the need for a referee in a match where the whole point is simply to cause as much blood loss as possible? If someone wasn't 'bleeding properly', would you step in or something?

I just don't get why you need a referee for that.

Although it IS a good way of 'getting a front-row seat', I'll give you that :P

[Rucklo]

wtf, noob! you're just standing there, letting your friends steal all the fun! be a fucking man and join up in the shenanigans, damnit! stand up for yourself, man! >:(

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 05:24 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote:

What the hell is fishaced?

Fitshaced? It's like shit faced, only moreso.

You know a couple beers, a couple bowls, a litte blatant hatred for all living things... the usual.

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 05:28 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote:

I just don't get why you need a referee for that.

Somebody's got to count out the loser. Last man standing match.

Also, we just recently outlawed chemical weapons and explosives. In the last match, a guy paid a chick to come out and pour salt in the open wounds of his oponents after he was disqualified.

[StickyStikFilms]

Ummm...

That looks like balsa wood.

Erm.

Ouch, I guess.

[NekoMika]

At 2/27/09 05:31 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

Also, we just recently outlawed chemical weapons and explosives. In the last match, a guy paid a chick to come out and pour salt in the open wounds of his oponents after he was disqualified.

The losing bitch gets to burn in agonizing salty fun!
ORDER UP BITCH!

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 05:22 PM, piratey wrote: That's a video, pics or it didn't happen

FINE. PICS.

[Lost-Chances]

At 2/27/09 06:11 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 2/27/09 05:22 PM, piratey wrote: That's a video, pics or it didn't happen

FINE. PICS.

Less pie, more pictures.

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 06:13 PM, Lost-Chances wrote:

Less pie, more pictures.

The other pics are all shock pics. As in, as a moderator, should someone else post them, I'd ban the fuck out of them. Ergo, in the name of not being a hypocrite, I won't post them.

Sorry, but Tony with hamburger back is more than the BBS rules allow.

[Zerok]

If aliens ever consider raiding us, I hope this is first piece of media they stumble upon in their pre-battle research.

[Lost-Chances]

At 2/27/09 06:19 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Sorry, but Tony with hamburger back is more than the BBS rules allow.

Link to them and "NSFW" the fuck out of them.

[KartoTolmex]

You ever participate in the actual fights yourself Funk? (As an actual fighter, not referee)

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 06:31 PM, Zerok wrote: If aliens ever consider raiding us, I hope this is first piece of media they stumble upon in their pre-battle research.

They did. They sent me a PM.

"FUCK? ARE YOU CRAZY APE MONKEYS SERIOUS!?!? Man, FUCK invading your planet. JESUS."

Can you blame'em?

[krazykangaroo]

because college is overrated, right?

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/27/09 06:40 PM, KartoTolmex wrote: You ever participate in the actual fights yourself Funk? (As an actual fighter, not referee)

Haha...

NO.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it could be pretty awesome, but it's REALLY hard for me to justify taking some of the damage those guys go through. Tony is STILL picking chunks of glass out of his back.

I don't know how many times I've been just hanging out with him, and he'll start rubbing a part of his arm, and then all of a sudden he's picking this huge chunk of glass out of his skin. Like, WEEKS after the fight.

Also, there's a little thing called "beating in" where in your first match, they kick the ever loving FUCK out of you to make sure you're not some kind of pussy who's going to get his ass kicked and then quit. Frankly I just haven't done the training I'd need to to be ready for that, and I've got way too much respect for the wrestlers to think I can just walk in off the street and compete with them.

Well, that and once my buddy Johnny thought he was hardcore core, ran into the match, and got fucking powerbombed through a door. Not that that would happen to me, but still. If I have a match, i'm going to be VERY prepared and take things VERY seriously, because otherwise, I just don't belong in there.

[JackPhantasm]

In other words funk wants to remain pretty.

[Steven-Polley]

You have an exciting life.

I wish mine were like that.

[FUNKbrs]

At 3/1/09 01:41 PM, JackPhantasm wrote: In other words funk wants to remain pretty.

I'm thinking more along the lines that I don't want to bust up my hands and feet because I need them to play drums....

But yeah, yeah, I'm a pretty boy with my pretty long hair and sweet succulent boobs, and the last thing I want is to get all scarred up.

[SteveGuzzi]

Raising money for an injured dude by creating more injured dudes?

Uh.

Okay.

[JackPhantasm]

At 3/1/09 03:18 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:
I'm thinking more along the lines that I don't want to bust up my hands and feet because I need them to play drums....

Well THAT is a good fucking reason.

[JackPhantasm]

At 3/1/09 03:34 PM, StephanosGnomon wrote: Raising money for an injured dude by creating more injured dudes?

Uh.

Okay.

More like.

Uh.

INCREDIBLE POETIC METAPHOR REPRESENTED BY LIVE ACTION VIOLENCE.

[SteveGuzzi]

At 3/1/09 03:36 PM, JackPhantasm wrote: INCREDIBLE POETIC METAPHOR REPRESENTED BY LIVE ACTION VIOLENCE.

Yeah.

And now they get to put on another benefit show to pay for these guys' medical bills. It can be an ongoing thing. Only like, next time they all wear brass knuckles and punch each others teeth out. I mean, breaking fluorescent bulbs is for pussies anyway. I'd fucking eat a fluorescent bulb with ketchup and mustard goddammit, that shit is light work. But punching teeth out? Now THAT'S hate-filled. Plus they can make extra scratch by stringing all the shattered enamel together and selling them as hardcore broken teeth necklaces or some shit.

[SteveGuzzi]

At 3/1/09 03:44 PM, SevenSeize wrote: I love you as well.

Completely inappropriate for such a hate-filled thread.

HAAAIIIIT.

LURV :* <3