I Now Hate Riding The Bus Home

[NikeThanatos]

It used to be a fun, enjoying time for me, where I would sit in silence and listen to the roar of the engine as it blocked out 'The Wall', emanating at full volume from my headphones.

That is... (and I know this is frowned on) until I met a /b/tard that rides it with me.

I'd met him earlier today, when another friend of mine introduced him. I knew from that moment that there was something funny about him, but not being the sort of person to judge purely on appearance and behaviour, and seeing that he was a polite and mostly respectful young man, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Until he sat next to me on the bus.

I don't exactly remember how it started, but my memory vividly shifts into gear the instant he asked me, "So, are you a /b/tard". To which I replied, "The First rule is that..."

It all went to hell from there. I spent the remainder of the time I spent on that bus talking myself up, and shutting the kid down. I now see why it's a bad idea for two or more of 'us' get together in person. It's like mixing Sodium Hydroxide with your skin. Very, very bad. I had to sit through 20 minutes of him barfing old memes, spewing fail and defecating faggotry of the highest concentrations, all the while I couldn't stop reciting the original PokeRap in my head (which he had as his ringtone. Jesus H. Christ...)

I've decided the next time I see him I'm going to cleanse him of the Chemo that courses through his veins. It's in deep, and it's contaminated, but I must be the one to cure him of the cancer. And if I fail... Well I'll just tell him to fuck off, and leave him to his Basement-dwelling.

Shame he doesn't know Rule 1 and Rule 2.

TL;DR, I met a /b/tard in person, and now I hate myself for even knowing what a meme is.

[AlkaSeltzer]

I can't have those kind of conversations on a bus because my head is most likely crushed against the windscreen by a mass of obese people, absolutely shutting down my ability to speak. I am not fucking joking.

[Sawdust]

That's why you should hang out with us Ningers instead.

We're nerdy, but not internet nerdy!

Zing!

[Theslav]

Rules 1 and 2 don't exist.

Anyone who lives by the rules of the internet are just as bad as people who blurt out the Fresh Prince theme.

[Gooch]

There's always going to be a cast of characters on a bus that you hate. I remember back when I rode the bus up until my sophomore year in high school. There was always at least one or two skanky kids on the bus that had big white chunks streaming through their hair. It was disgusting. Then there were always the people that thought they were cool and talked like they were of another ethnicity (black, obviously). It sucks having to sometimes interact with those people.

I just hope for your sake you don't have to ever endure something like that again. If so, just do whatever you can to avoid acknowledging somebody like that.

[Gagsy]

Should have said no and then gone on about how the internet isn't life.

[FIGMENTUM]

At 2/4/09 03:14 AM, NikeThanatos wrote: I've decided the next time I see him I'm going to cleanse him of the Chemo that courses through his veins.

cleanse the chemo? what are you, like an anti-anti-venom?

[NikeThanatos]

At 2/4/09 03:19 AM, Theslav wrote: Rules 1 and 2 don't exist.

They exist, but only those with true etiquette follow them.

Unfortunately, most people online don't appreciate the importance of these rules in saving you from looking like a total idiot in their day-to-day lives. Not EVERYONE loves Mudkips.

Anyone who lives by the rules of the internet are just as bad as people who blurt out the Fresh Prince theme.

And thats just as bad as thinking that your 1337th post is a big deal. 1337speak comes from the internet too, you know.

At 2/4/09 03:22 AM, Gagsy wrote: Should have said no and then gone on about how the internet isn't life.

I tried, oh lord, how I did try. He wouldn't shut up when I told him to stop, so I thought I might shut up him by constantly calling him 'cancer' (in reference to what is supposedly killing /b/), stating his actions and words 'were full of faggotry and fail', and constantly calling him a /b/tard.

I honestly feel embarrassed for having written all that on here, terms that should not be used outside that medium. But damnit, it must be said.

At 2/4/09 03:19 AM, Gooch wrote: I just hope for your sake you don't have to ever endure something like that again. If so, just do whatever you can to avoid acknowledging somebody like that.

He's honestly a nice kid, but he doesn't know that there are some things you don't talk about in public forum, where everyone can hear you. That's his biggest problem.

His friend was pretty cool, though. Almost slapped him when he started playing the PokeRap that was supposedly his ringtone.

At 2/4/09 03:23 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: cleanse the chemo? what are you, like an anti-anti-venom?

A slip of the wrist, I'm afraid. I meant cancer.

[Peacekid]

THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

[NikeThanatos]

At 2/4/09 03:54 AM, WaffleVoyager wrote: There's obese people in Australia? =O

It's the fattest nation in the world per populus, in terms of % of population that is overweight, rather than actual numbers.

But there are very few fat people in Melbourne. You have to come up north if you want to go whale watching.

[iscrulz]

At 2/4/09 03:51 AM, Peacekid wrote: THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

Fight Club is a 1996 novel by Chuck Palahniuk. The book follows the experiences of an anonymous protagonist struggling with his way of life and changes in American pop culture masculinity. To overcome this, he establishes an underground fighting club as radical psychotherapy.

In 1999, director David Fincher adapted the novel into a film of the same name. In the wake of the movie's popularity, the novel-the first published by the writer-was criticized for its content, particularly for explicitly depicting violence.

When someone says stop, or goes limp, even if he's just faking it, the fight is over.
Only two guys to a fight.
One fight at a time.
They fight without shirts or shoes.
The fights go on as long as they have to.
If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.

[AlkaSeltzer]

At 2/4/09 03:54 AM, WaffleVoyager wrote:

At 2/4/09 03:16 AM, JarrodK wrote: I can't have those kind of conversations on a bus because my head is most likely crushed against the windscreen by a mass of obese people, absolutely shutting down my ability to speak. I am not fucking joking.

There's obese people in Australia? =O

%18 of people in Australia are obese according to the World Health Orginisation. That's 2/10 people on the bus. That's a Bus with about 50 passengers. That's 10 fatties flattening me.

[NikeThanatos]

At 2/4/09 04:00 AM, iscrulz wrote: Fight Club is a 1996 novel by Chuck Palahniuk.

That movie was a total mindfuck for me the first time I saw it, but the 2nd time round I was like, "Ohh... I get it now". Sorta.

At 2/4/09 04:07 AM, WaffleVoyager wrote: You poor child but at least in your country they don't allow tramps on the bus if they find spare change in the drainage ditch.

I've never seen the city hobo on the bus before, though I see him constantly at bus stops sleeping or taking a break. Seems like a happy fellow despite his lifestyle.

[AlkaSeltzer]

At 2/4/09 04:07 AM, WaffleVoyager wrote: You poor child but at least in your country they don't allow tramps on the bus if they find spare change in the drainage ditch.

That's because they are all fare evading on the train network.

[PenisClown]

I'm friends with a /b/tard, and honestly It's not that bad. He's just a regular person, only every now and then he spouts a meme.

[Lost-Chances]

I'm glad I don't know/associate with anyone who knows Newgrounds or 4chan forums.

[Shreddy]

At 2/4/09 03:19 AM, Theslav wrote: Anyone who lives by the rules of the internet are just as bad as people who blurt out the Fresh Prince theme.

nothing wrong with abit of fresh prince, goes down a storm when the whole rooms hammered and someone starts it and the whole room joins in

[Podburrys]

Realistically, you should have punched the fuck out, or at least asked him nicely to go away/shut up.

[Grammar-Nazi]

This is one of those reasons why I walk home.

[jakobhummelen]

You must be one of the cool kids.. omg.. >_<

If you spent so much time on a website that you know all the memes and details than you have no right to complain that someone who is just as lame as you starts ticking you off.

[Peaceblossom]

Haha, I met a girl like that once. I thought for sure that shit would work out, because I was an idiot, and assumed 2 people with a common nerdy interest would instantly be compatible. I didn't mind all of her flaws as a human because I had a crush on this ideal of a /b/tard.

Haha, since then I haven't said a single meme out loud.

[greenfaerie4]

Idk talking in internet speak in a irl conversation just makes you sound retarded.

[VespeneGas]

At 2/4/09 11:17 AM, greenfaerie4 wrote: Idk talking in internet speak in a irl conversation just makes you sound retarded.

I even get pissed at people going "Noob" or "Owned" while playing splitscreen, even though it's a relatively more accepted place to talk like an idiot :\

[066pop]

At 2/4/09 03:16 AM, JarrodK wrote: I can't have those kind of conversations on a bus because my head is most likely crushed against the windscreen by a mass of obese people, absolutely shutting down my ability to speak. I am not fucking joking.

Hey my fat ass takes offence from that!!!

[Kwing]

omg u just gawt rickrolled duude!!!111one11

Seriously, just live with it. They called Bill Gates a geek and now he's a multi-millionaire.
And if you really don't care what he thinks of you, just tell him straight out to leave you alone.

[Britkid]

Internet nerds are the worst. If I ever have to complete a piece of work or print something off, I have to go to the library. I dread going there, because I'm always distracted by the faggots discussing 4chan and spewing really old rubbish, most of which was never funny in the first place. The sad thing is I could correct them, but I manage to hide the fact that I have 10,000+ posts on an internet forum.

[kreten]

I used to say LOL in public.

But that's pretty much where it stopped.

[sirtom93]

My friend got hospitalized by some boy on the school bus, so think your self lucky.

[RockinPunk]

At 2/4/09 11:55 AM, kreten wrote: I used to say LOL in public.

But that's pretty much where it stopped.

I once accidentally said lol on the phone to my friend's mum. I have never said it since.

[Ryuzaki1]

I hate faggots like that. They don't deserve to leave the house. Same goes for the dicks who say shit like LOL and ROFL irl.