Strangest. Sentence. Ever.

[Sheizenhammer]

This is one day I'm not forgetting in a hurry.

For a long time (about 6 years now), the most random thing i'd ever heard anyone say was: "I'VE GOT A STIFF COCK!!!!". Not particularly funny, in-and-of-itself. However, there are a few things that made it stand out:
- It was yelled VERY loudly.
- It was yelled VERY loudly, by a guy not known for his masculinity.
- It was yelled VERY loudly, by a guy not known for his masculinity, during target practice on a military firing range, right in front of about 30 other guys (and about 10 miles away from the nearest girl IMO) and the staff in charge.

The rifles we were using were manual-loaders, and one part of the manual system is known literally as the 'cocking bolt'. Subsequent cock jokes are, naturally, abundant whenever these things are brought out, but to hear someone yell one such joke like that during a military training exercise was a funny surprise to say the least.

That USED to be the strangest sentence i'd heard. Up until today. Today, that title was well and truly claimed by one of my uni lecturers, with the ultimate in random sentences:

"I know one of the people that built Jamie-Lee Curtis' vagina."

No, that is not a joke. Nor is it even an exaggeration. Those were her actual words.
And the even stranger bit? It actually makes sense. J-L.C, if you don't already know, is a model, and was (long story short) born with less-than-typical genitalia. This particular lecturer has the (somewhat odd) speciality of dealing with genetic sexual ambiguity, so I suppose it's not too much of a stretch to believe.

Still, never in a million years would I have guessed that I would ever hear a sentence like that. And it got me wondering: what's the strangest thing you've ever heard someone blurt out? Does anyone have anything stranger than that?

[Kain-Ceverus]

From a fat chick coming out of the mall, me waiting for the bus on a bench:

"So he knee'd me in the pussy and we ended up having sex"

From the looks of things, the guy woulda lost his entire lower half in her pussy. Holy fat chick.

[gibleto]

One time me and my friends were fighting and one said YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

And one of my other friends replied I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL! FUCK.

I said why did you say fuck at the end? He said, I didn't know how to word it into the previous sentence so I just kinda tagged it on at the end.

[Zerok]

This thread is not a place to dump your random sentences. You're going to need an anecdote, and reasonably good one, like the OP has offered. If you fail to provide this, I will be deleting your posts.

[Sensationalism]

I was playing this game similar to freeze tag but with a twist at my friend's place. So I was outside and I was "it" and I guess the "it" person was like an octopuss or something because I yelled out really loud: "I'M GOING TO GET YOU WITH MY TESTICLES!!!"

I meant to say tentacels.

[RubberTrucky]

Today while doing yoga, one of the girls yelled out loud "My breasts are strangling me."
I was out for 5 minutes by sheer laughter.

[Lost-Chances]

I think the sentence alone isn't weird but the context was weird to me. When my old chemistry teacher (last year) went through a list of things we were taught at GCSE level (like all orbitals after the first one (which can hold two electrons) could only hold eight) and ended them with a "we lied". I just found it weird at the time to hear a teacher tell us about how we were lied to (which was because it'd just be a lot simpler).

[Sheizenhammer]

At 2/3/09 05:57 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I think the sentence alone isn't weird but the context was weird to me. When my old chemistry teacher (last year) went through a list of things we were taught at GCSE level (like all orbitals after the first one (which can hold two electrons) could only hold eight) and ended them with a "we lied". I just found it weird at the time to hear a teacher tell us about how we were lied to (which was because it'd just be a lot simpler).

Heh heh. I remember the blatant lying in my chemistry classes too. The first 3 weeks of doing the A-level was basically my chemistry teacher saying: "Forget it!"

(Also: thankyou Zerok. For a minute there I thorught this was gonna turn out like my last thread .)

[Kitten-of-Annoyance]

strangest sentence I ever heard was this today in my science class:
"Hey, Kinley! I still have your bra here in my bag!"
why it was strange:
it was said to a girl across on the other side of the room.
it was said loud enough so every guy in the room immediately turned to look at who said it BUT the substitute teacher didn't hear
and immediately afterword the girl who said it asked the GUY sitting in front of her to take said bra to the other girl, which he did and the sub STILL didn't see the bra or the guy who gave it back to the girl.....and this lead into a conversation between myself, two other girls and the guy who took the bra about people's cup sizes....I'm not kidding

[Tovi-Noname]

One time I heard a girl at Subway asking another friend of hers if it was normal for a guy to like to pull his girlfriend's pubic hairs out during sex.

Yeah...

[Krbyfan1]

Apparently while on a family cruise my oldest brother uttered the phrase in his sleep "Bob said no!"

To this day I have no idea who Bob is, what he was doing, and what the dream was about.

[omgdeletedmeow69]

when you scratch your pubes, it feels good.