I was walking down the street in Manhattan when I saw a plate of animal crackers left on the ground. Seeing no one around, I decided that it's okay and so i took one and ate it. Afterwards I was walking to the newspaper stand when the dude running the stand start looking at me funny, he even took out a broom screaming "Get the hell away from me you monster!"
"What's your problem?" I said
"Get the fuck away from me!" he said
After he chased me away, I notice many people ran away from me as well
"What is up with them?" I said to myself when I was walking next to a department store and saw my reflection, to my surprise my head turns into that of a cat. I became freaked out screaming "I'm a cat!" multiple times until a huge earless anomorphic cat shows up and said "Calm down, the effect will be over in 5 seconds."
Eventually my head did return to normal, I was relieved until the cat then said "Why did you take one of my cookies without my permission?"
"Maybe if you hadn't left it here then no one would take it" I said
"It's on a ground, you could've gotten sick!" the cat angrily answers
Tired of this I tried to stab him with my umbrella (the one with a pointed end), I was able to successfully pin him to the wall when something unusual happens...
"What was that for?" the cat screamed as he breaks the umbrella off the handle before continuing "You can't blame someone else for your own stupidity, attack me and your already idiotic brain will grow worse!" he yelled
Knowing there's no other options, I point my finger at the space next to him and yell "It's a rat!"
The cat screams and jumped ten feet into the air, as he began to fall back down I kicked him into the street where he was hit by a car
Thinking that I won the battle, I ran to the street when he got up and said "That's it!" as he takes out an air cannon from his pouch and knocked me out
Sometimes later I woke up and saw the cat's no longer around, I was heading to the subway station grumbling at myself for getting beaten up by a cat when Alex Jones came and said "You've been attacked because you have discovered a truth of the government, come with me and I'll open your eyes..."
Wondering what's that about I follow him until we made it to the alley where I saw a bull
"Stand still as I'll open your eyes to reality..." he said as he place his hand into the bull's butt and takes out a crap
"What the?" I yelled as that nutcase proceeds to throw a crap at me, I was able to dodge it
He continue to throw shit at me saying "Keep still!" as I began to wear down until that cat shows up and said "Here, take this weapon!", I caught the small hallow tube and i stuck it to my middle finger
There I point it at the conspiracy nutcase and fire a blast which blew him to bits
"He'll be back, he cloned himself to the extent that my timeline have been overran by him, that's why I came back to the past to stop him"
The police sirens were heard nearby and he save me a small propeller with small suction cap and said "Stick it anywhere on your body, doesn't matter they're going to be here any minute, go!"
I stick the propeller to my head and flew back to Queens.
As I made it home, I took off the propeller and fell onto the tree before landing on the ground safely, afterwards I went back home and said "What a day."
