Expanded Insults/Comments!

[Gooch]

Folks, a proposition to you.

You ever get tired of hearing or using the same old insults every time they are in use? You know, I'm talking about the typical ones like "Fuck You", "You're gay", "Fatass". It's the same old stuff over and over again, and it gets old quick.

What I propose is expanding those insults and comments to really stump the person you're slandering.
Here's some prime examples:

Say you want to substitute calling somebody "stupid":

"Your intelligence is minimalistic."

Okay, so that one could be better. But you get the idea.

Say you want to insult someone's weight. You could go along the lines of:

"Your girth exceeds two walruses having intercourse with each other."

Okay, still not that good. However, it's all part of expanding your insults.

Here's one more example. Say you want to comment on somebody smelling bad. Say something like:

"You emit a foul odor that far surpasses the stench of my rancid morning defications."

Now that one I consider a gem.

But you see what I'm getting at. EXPANSION. Put a little effort into insulting somebody from now on. . .

. . . PLEASE?

[cast]

At 1/31/09 01:41 AM, Gooch wrote:

. . . PLEASE?

As my good friend Karl would say, you're a connoisseur of cock.

[Hornby]

You're body part that's in the middle of your body, but for some reason is called your bottom, is extremely full of body fat.

Did I do it right?

[Proottalfain]

I hope you die from the cholera!

Replacement for a generic insult, like fuck you

[cast]

At 1/31/09 01:45 AM, Hornby wrote: You're body part that's in the middle of your body, but for some reason is called your bottom, is extremely full of body fat.

Did I do it right?

You did it totally wrong, it's too long man.

Is your last name Simpson?

[qu3muchach0]

that's pretty gay.
(what can i say...? if isn't broken, why fix it?)

[TheOriginalReference]

Your mother had many gracious elations when I parried her with my erect Penis last night.

Yay/Nay?

[killa-noyz]

That's actually quite smart, but people aren't intelligent enough to put thought into insults.

[cast]

I still think you guys are adding too much sophistication, OP included.

[qu3muchach0]

At 1/31/09 01:51 AM, cast wrote: I still think you guys are adding too much sophistication, OP included.

watchu talkin bout willis?

[aquaticmole]

fuck you bitch i'll fucking kick your ass you trailer trash whitey fucken pussy bitch grow some balls and the man the fuck up instead of pussy footing around everything you piece of shit faggot.

how was that?

[cast]

At 1/31/09 01:52 AM, qu3muchach0 wrote:

At 1/31/09 01:51 AM, cast wrote: I still think you guys are adding too much sophistication, OP included.

watchu talkin bout willis?

Shut up and guard the appliance section you petite chimney sweep.

[Prinzy2]

You must be as blind as a bat, where were you 8PM NG time?

[TheOriginalReference]

how was that?

fukin awesome you bastard-faced homo

jk

[Proottalfain]

At 1/31/09 01:49 AM, qu3muchach0 wrote: that's pretty gay.
(what can i say...? if isn't broken, why fix it?)

It's fucking broken, imo. I have no problem with the gays, so I'd use something else. "That's pretty trivial"

[Gooch]

At 1/31/09 01:43 AM, cast wrote:

As my good friend Karl would say, you're a connoisseur of cock.

Connoisseur of Cock. You see, now that's an expansion worth mentioning. It's original. It's something different. It's brilliant.

At 1/31/09 01:45 AM, Hornby wrote:

Did I do it right?

I have no objections to it. Although I wouldn't go too much into a Seinfeld-esque routine saying, "It's called your bottom when it's in the middle of your body." I'd say glutteus maximus (sp?). You know, technical term for your ass? Yeah, go with that.

At 1/31/09 01:45 AM, Proottalfain wrote:

I hope you die from the cholera!

That's not bad. I guess you could use something like "cease to live" or "succumb" instead of die.

At 1/31/09 01:49 AM, qu3muchach0 wrote: that's pretty gay.
(what can i say...? if isn't broken, why fix it?)

You know what a broken record sounds like, right? It repeats the same thing in one spot. Yeah, saying something like that is listening to a broken record. You just hear it WAY too many times anymore.

At 1/31/09 01:49 AM, hawkkid777 wrote: Your mother had many gracious elations when I parried her with my erect Penis last night.

Yay/Nay?

Yay. Very yay. That's probably going to be one of the better ones in this thread. We'll just see how it goes as this thread goes on.

At 1/31/09 01:50 AM, killa-noyz wrote: That's actually quite smart, but people aren't intelligent enough to put thought into insults.

Think about the ones that could though. You'd confuse the receiver of these insults so much. It'd almost be a priceless moment to see the blank expressions on their faces once they try and compute what you just said.

At 1/31/09 01:51 AM, cast wrote: I still think you guys are adding too much sophistication, OP included.

Nothing wrong adding a little sophistication to your insults. It's almost too good to be true. You expect with such classy words that it will end up being a compliment, then BOOM! It blindsides you like asthma blindsided Jerome Bettis.

At 1/31/09 01:53 AM, aquaticmole wrote: fuck you bitch i'll fucking kick your ass you trailer trash whitey fucken pussy bitch grow some balls and the man the fuck up instead of pussy footing around everything you piece of shit faggot.

how was that?

Uh. . . cake.

At 1/31/09 01:54 AM, cast wrote:

Shut up and guard the appliance section you petite chimney sweep.

Nailed it.

At 1/31/09 01:55 AM, Prinzy2 wrote: You must be as blind as a bat, where were you 8PM NG time?

After the responses I got from the PMs I sent out, it didn't sound like there was enough interest to try and get a game going. Yeah, should have contacted you, but I wasn't around my computer most of the time today.

[Franklin-Moore]

Two days ago in American History this kid called me a fuckhead. I told him I was going to buttfuck him. That shut him up.

[Dr-Worm]

One of my friends used to use this gem as retaliation to someone else's insult:

...okay, but at least I don't give blowjobs to homeless war veterans for a quarter each.

[RedDreadSky]

Sir, your brain seems to be functioning at 1/10 that of a normal human, you may want to see a doctor.

[AnasaziTribal]

VERBOSE THREADS FTW!
"I wager you good sir, you cannot consume one Lays brand potato crisp, and subsequently refrain from eating a second."
Betcha can't eat just one.

[Kidiri]

Gravitational mass is identical to inertial mass. That is, the amount of inertia something has and the amount of gravity it has are effectively the same. What's interesting is that there doesn't seem to be any reason this should be true. One could imagine an extremely large object with lots of resistance to force and no gravity (or vice versa), but this is never observed. You know what? I'm just gonna skip the rest of the build-up and say it: Yo mama's fat.

[RubberTrucky]

Suppose N a fixed natural number and I the subset of all people such that for each epsilon bigger than 0 there exists a compact set in the Darwin topology, with diameter not greater than epsilon such that the infimum of the intelligencefunction on that compact set is bounded from below by N. If N is bigger or equal to the expectance value of the intelligence function over the entire set of human beings, then there exists a delta bigger than zero and a Darwin-open set with diameter no bigger than delta, D, such that D contains you and the intersection of D and I is the empty set.

Good enough?

[VladimirJFaust]

Your mother is so proportionately rotund that when she ungraciously leapt up into the air, she became unable to move and was retained in mid-air.

Your mother is so anorexic, she can do the old-fashioned game of hoola hoop with a breakfast cereal loop.

Your family is so statistically in debt, when i graced your house with my presence, I accidentally placed my foot on a cigarette that which still had it's cherub lit and your unclean mother uttered exasperately "Please my good sir, do not cush my carcinogeous instrument for it is but our only source of heat in this household".

That last one took a while. Phew I'm done

[TheLameSauce]

the simpler an insult is the more honest it's sentiment seems. For instance, i could say you're uglier than richard simmon's asshole after a good date. or i could just say you're an ugly bastard. if you use the second one there's an implicit honesty, given that you didn't need to elaborate due to the comments truthfulness. i find that that is in fact much more harrowing and insulting.

[TehreTard]

Your homosexuality exceeds that of Liberace and Elton John combined.

[Gooch]

At 1/31/09 10:50 AM, TheLameSauce wrote: the simpler an insult is the more honest it's sentiment seems. For instance, i could say you're uglier than richard simmon's asshole after a good date. or i could just say you're an ugly bastard. if you use the second one there's an implicit honesty, given that you didn't need to elaborate due to the comments truthfulness. i find that that is in fact much more harrowing and insulting.

That does bring up a good point. You know, I guess it just depends on the situation. There are times to keep at its fullest simplicity. If it's just between you and the person you're insulting, I could see it as a simplified situation. However, if you're in front of a bunch of people ready to drop an insult, by all means use an example like you did with Richard Simmons and how ugly his asshole is after a good date.

It's all in the timing and place, really.