Studying and shit
In September i started a new study. Because i wanted to be a teacher and i thought i would enjoy it and stuff.
Now i'm starting to realize it isn't for me.. well, i think so. I'm still doubting.
I'm an intern 1 day a week and i get to give lessons to 11/12 year old kids at an elementary school.
Being at that school and interacting with the kids and stuff is quite fun sometimes. But the actual teaching..
At first i really had to get used to it. Of course. It's weird to suddenly change roles from student to teacher.
But now that i've given enough lessons to see past that.. i still don't enjoy it like i thought i would. Is this what i'd want to do for the rest of my life?
But if i quit this study.. it'll be the 3rd study i quit. What the fuck am i supposed to do? Begin another study without having the slightest clue what i want with my life? Get a job with bad pay and stay stuck in it?
I wish i really enjoyed teaching. It would be so much easier. But i have to give a lesson tomorrow and i already look up to it.
Why does every big decision i make turn out to be a bad one? What will i do with my life?
Next week is intern-week (being an intern every day of the week, giving a lot of lessons). I guess i'll ride that out and decide afterwards if i am still thinking so negatively about my current study.