Spectacularly bad game design ex.

[poxpower]

We've all played a game and at some point went "why the FUCK did they design this like that? Holy shit, how retarded are they?"

I'll start you off.
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Final Fantasy 8
You start the game off with 700+ hp and the monsters hit you for about 10. Whaaaa?

GH3
On expert, the boss battle against Lou is stupid since you die 99% of the time he gets a "double" powerup, turning a game of skill into a game of chance. Congratulations dickheads. Most of battle mode seems to revolve greatly around luck. The "lefty" and "double" power ups are clearly far superior to all others.
Also some fretboards seem horrible, they are cluttered with tons of shit and you can't see the notes while some others are really dark. Why? Just make it black, it's clearly 100% better.

Final Fantasy 9
Why port the FF8 card game if it's going to be completely shitty? They removed just about every element that made it fun: get great items from the cards, unique cards and actual gameplay. Idiots.

Battlefield 1942
When you play against the A.I. and one of your "friends" gets into a vehicle, you can't take his place. So if they park themselves in the carrier or some good tank, they'll stay there for as long as they want. Why??? I'm the player, I should always get to play with any vehicle or weapon I can reach. Incredible!

Entire FF series
All the status spells are completely useless against enemies. Why even put them in? The only time a shitty spell like "sleep" or "confuse" will work is against a monster so weak that you could beat him in any way you choose.

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Ok I'm done.

[Musician]

The locked overhead view in Metal Gear Solid 1-3 (Substance not Subsistence).

I'm sorry, I thought the game was supposed to help ME hide from MY enemies, not the other way around.

[TheJamoke]

Primal Rage
Remember that game? If not, then you're probably better off. It was such a p.o.s. fighting game, especially considering it was released in the era of such gems as MKII and Killer Instinct. The range and speed of movement was just god awful, and the button combinations to perform special and finishing attacks were so complex they must have been developed by NASA. Even if you could memorized them, a near impossible feat of sheer genius considering some of them weren't even listed in the player's manual, you didn't even have ample time to enter them during the "finish him" stage of victory. Even those Turbo Stick controllers they came out with in the '90s where you could pre-program button combinations and see them on a little screen directly on the controller were of no help and told you to fuck off for trying to make it memorized so large a string of commands.

True Crime: NYC
Besides being one massive glitch that you shelled out 40 dollars of perfectly good beer money for, the fighting system in this games is a total contradiction of itself. There are several different martial arts styles one can achieve, each with advantages over certain other style you may encounter when fighting an enemy. But, when you actually do find yourself in the middle of a street brawl, all the enemies block every goddamn punch and kick even if you're using the fighting style which, according to the game's own rules, trumps theirs. So you end up having to use the roundhouse kick to knock down every enemy and summarily beat their ass while they lie flat on the sidewalk, literally kicking them while they are down. What kind of pussy shit is that?

The Incredible Hulk (SNES)
Just look for any video of it on YouTube. Barely any explanation will be necessary, but off the top of my head:

There were power ups strategically placed on rooftops mere pixels out of reach from your highest jump, the boss battles were stale and very repetitive, and at some points in order to reach a bonus power up it was necessary to transform back into Bruce Banner a.k.a. the weakest most useless piece of shit character ever in a video game. And the only way to do this was to take enough damage from enemies to the point where your health meter dropped down far enough. After becoming Bruce "Girly-Man" Banner, there was no way to transform back into his mean, green alter ego unless you had already acquired a certain power up, which were few and far between. In some places, you needed to be the Hulk in order to progress as it was necessary to break through walls. If you had lost too much power while fighting your way there and transformed into human form, you were screwed plain and simple. And what does the Hulk give a crap about collecting coins?! This ain't Super Mario Bros. for fucks sake. What's the Hulk going to do with money, take the She-Hulk out to Spago for filet mignon?

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory & Double Agent
A great series of games in my book that only got better since the first (even though the ending to Double Agent seemed like the writers got drunk/lazy that day.) But what always gave me the red ass was the fact that in the first two you could shoot out any surveillance camera or light for stealthier movement under cover of darkness, yet in the subsequent two sequels this ability was lost. Totally unnecessary in a game that prided itself on mimicry of real life physics. Sam Fisher could perform a choke hold hanging upside down from a steam pipe, silently sneak through the shadows past armed guards mere inches away, but could not destroy a 15 watt fluorescent bulb, WITH A BULLET, because it is protected by a thin wire mesh....
Piss.

The Rocketeer
Superman on the N64 ain't got shit on the annoyance level of this game, and they both start out the same way. Before you can get to the cool flying-around-saving-the-day part, you have to test you non-existent at this point flying skills with a challenge of winning an airplane race. This is damn near impossible since there is no tutorial before hand and the controls for flying the plane are also practically non-existent and have literally NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE GAME, period on the end of that fucking sentence.

Top Gun
I am an ace fighter pilot who can shoot down 30 enemy planes in a single sitting without even getting sweaty palms, flawlessly refuel airborne, but for some reason can't perform a simple landing maneuver back onto an aircraft carrier. Nice. Crashing into the ocean is my favorite way to end a campaign anyway.

[poxpower]

MOAR:

Final Fight
And it's ilk. What's the deal with the super-move that takes away some of your HP? Not only is that completely unfun, but it makes no fucking sense. I LOSE health when I do a move to SAVE MYSELF FROM LOSING HEALTH? So I run around punching and supplexing the shit out of people with chains and bent pipes but this one particular arrangement of my limbs causes bodily harm?

Sim City
How come the citizens always complained? No matter what, they would complain randomly about ANYTHING. There was no possible way to fix any problem permanently and you had basically no clue how anyway. What's housing cost? How does it rise? How do I fix it? Fuck it. And buildings roads was a bad idea, you were better off making an entire city with rail.

Death and Return of Superman (SNES)
I played the entire game once on emulator. It's SO STUPID. It's basically the same 3 levels looped over and over and over, and they're all HARD AS FUUUUUUUCK. You do all the levels as superman, then as Steel, then as Superboy and so on, it's mind-numbing. And all the different supermen have the same damn powers anyway, what's the point?

Mortal Kombat on the SNES
All of those games had the WORST case of "auto-react" A.I. The computer would do nothing until you did something and then it would counter instantly and unfairly. What's the point? Whenever you got a hit in it was basically because you lucked out or you knew how to exploit the flaws in the A.I. There was no actual talent as far as combos or reaction time goes. It's just about knowing what moves will work and what moves will never work.

Dragon Ball Z : Super Butoden 3
If you've played this SNES game, you'll have noticed that the moves are retard hard to do and to top it off, you can power up really fast so the game ends up in a super-beam match where you have to counter the opponent's beam by pressing back, backdown, down, downforward, forward+A during a 0.5 second interval that is impossible to figure out. Of course the computer won't miss. But you will. Over and over. Fuuuuuuck ooooooooff.

FFX Chocobo race
If you've done this infuriating chore to get one of the final weapons, you'll know what I'm talking about... you have to finish a race in 0 seconds, collecting balloons that lower your time by 3 seconds and avoiding birds that fly randomly at you and make you waste time. ON A CHOCOBO THAT YOU BARELY CONTROL. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Make your dumb race as hard as you want but PLEASE CAN I AT LEAST CONTROL MY PLAYER? Why do this to us? What did we do to deserve this turd sandwich?

Mario is Missing (SNES)
Well this entire game is just a waste of space, really. What were they thinking? I rented it once and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

At 12/27/08 05:06 AM, THEJamoke wrote: Primal Rage
Remember that game?

I loved that game bcause it was dinosaurs.
But yeah what a piece of shit, I could only do like 5 movies in the entire thing and I never once managed to do any of the finisher moves. I didn't know there was any for the longest time.

The Incredible Hulk (SNES)

I rented that once...
What fun! You get to play as Bruce Banner for 90% of the game!

Top Gun

haha AVGN videos...

[The-Great-One]

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
When you played as Young Link, your Boomerang could pick up far off items like hearts, rupees, and items that came out of the bushes, rocks, or enemies. However when you gained the hookshot it couldn't grab any items at all. None. Even though in The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past, the hookshot worked just as well as the boomerang so it was like a huge upgrade, so why did they change it?

Super Mario Bros. 3 - Super Mario World
When Super Mario Bros. 3 came out, we were fucking excited. Look at all the power-ups you got! A leaf that made you Racoon Mario, a Frog Suit, a Tanooki Suit, a Hammer Bro Suit, the original Mushroom, Fire Flower, and Star, were all here as well. With all these cool power-ups to play around with there was a lot to explore. Plus many large worlds that were pleasing to the eye and had you guessing around every turn. It was awesome and is considered the best Mario Game of all time to many. However when Super Mario World came out, Nintendo just threw all the success of the first game out the window. Sure you had a Feather that gave you a cape to fly, you had Yoshi and different colored Yoshi's, but where did all the fun stuff from Super Mario Bros. 3 go? We were screwed big time when Super Mario World was released on the Super Nintendo.

[xscoot]

At 12/27/08 09:31 AM, The-Great-One wrote: When Super Mario Bros. 3 came out, we were fucking excited. However when Super Mario World came out, Nintendo just threw all the success of the first game out the window.

Wait a second. SMB3, the game from an older console, had more fun things to do then the newer game, from the next console?

SMB3= San Andreas
SMW= GTAIV