At 12/26/08 08:41 AM, Sexylegs wrote:
So about ten minutes ago, my friend announced that after we finished our hardcore Left 4 Dead sesh, that he was going to lie down the side of my bed (a meter away from my TV and Mac) and jerk off.
I thought he was kidding, naturally, so I laugh and continue fucking up the countless undead horde. Soon enough, we're both dead (Expert is hard when you just get the game D:) and he gets up and lies down next to my bed.
I didn't think he'd do it at first, when all of a sudden I hear his breathing fuck up, and his hand furiously moving up and down. And when I look over; presto, dick in hand.
So I yell at him and tell him to move it on into the bathroom. Because, A) it's just weird, and B) his dick smells like fucking death.
What should I do when he returns?
I was gonna do a funny post, but the fact that we're even discussing this is fucking hilarious, so I'll be as serious as a heartattack.
Things wrong with this situation:
1) He starts fapping IN YOUR HOUSE! Furthermore, IN YOUR ROOM!
2) He starts fap-fap-fap right next to you.
3) He starts after playing a videogame? Only possible sparks to initiate this fapping frenzy is A) Your hot sexy body and B)those hot sexy undead bodies.
4) If his dick stank strong enough where you didn't have to get close to it to smell it, he obviously either fapped earlier too and didn't clean himself up or he never cleans up after himself, which is a whole 'nother problem in itself.
5) He's still in your house. Fapping.
My suggestions?
Kick him out of your house for stinking up the place. Tell him to wash his junk. In order to make sure that he never tries anything with you, kick him in the balls. Then tell everyone at school what happened. That will destroy his social life. Then he'll commit suicide and you'll be free to live your life. But before you can, you must piss on his grave during the funeral, with everyone watching.
Just to be clear, that's your only choice.
