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So about ten minutes ago, my friend announced that after we finished our hardcore Left 4 Dead sesh, that he was going to lie down the side of my bed (a meter away from my TV and Mac) and jerk off.

I thought he was kidding, naturally, so I laugh and continue fucking up the countless undead horde. Soon enough, we're both dead (Expert is hard when you just get the game D:) and he gets up and lies down next to my bed.

I didn't think he'd do it at first, when all of a sudden I hear his breathing fuck up, and his hand furiously moving up and down. And when I look over; presto, dick in hand.

So I yell at him and tell him to move it on into the bathroom. Because, A) it's just weird, and B) his dick smells like fucking death.

What should I do when he returns?

jerk off and cum on his pillow

I sence lies!

At 12/26/08 08:47 AM, Spirosgod wrote: I sence lies!

And I sense that you're being a mother fucking cunt.

He's back now. There's a distinct awkwardness in the room. And a smell. It's fucking horrendous.

D:

Yeah, don't not do it, just go into the bathroom of my house and masturbate, I have morals!

Your friend is gay. The only option is to tell him to bend down.

It may have been a good idea were you to grab ahold of his phallic instrument.

Aww, you should have given him a hand. After all, he is your friend.

Grab his co-

Yo should have politely asked him to fuck off.

When he walks in you should be jerking off on your bed in the same spot!

Jump on his back and ride him like a pony.

What? Piggybacks are fun!

ask him out..

..fag

From now on, fill his life with gay porn. FILL HIS LIFE WITH GAY PORN.

Explain that since your presence induced his masturbation, he must be gay, and therefore LIKE lots of hawt ghey actshun.

Never, EVER relent in this.

Wait you were close enough to smell his dick?

He's gay. Cut off all contact with him immediately.

Oh, and lop off his knob so that he can't reproduce. If, by some freak of nature, he gets his hands on some vagoo.

At 12/26/08 08:49 AM, Sexylegs wrote: And a smell. It's fucking horrendous.

tell him to take a fucking shower!

At 12/26/08 08:49 AM, Sexylegs wrote: And a smell. It's fucking horrendous.

Sounds like knob cheese.

Gross, if he was any kind of friend he would do that shit in the bathroom. No one wants to see that shit.

One of my friends and me watch porn together, but we don't masturbate. People will be thinking that's pretty gay to watch porn together, but it isn't gay if we aren't masturbating to it.

Long story short, your friend is gay.

At 12/26/08 10:04 AM, UltimateAxl wrote: One of my friends and me watch porn together, but we don't masturbate. People will be thinking that's pretty gay to watch porn together, but it isn't gay if we aren't masturbating to it.

So you sit there and look at each others boners?

At 12/26/08 10:31 AM, Luis wrote:

At 12/26/08 10:04 AM, UltimateAxl wrote: One of my friends and me watch porn together, but we don't masturbate. People will be thinking that's pretty gay to watch porn together, but it isn't gay if we aren't masturbating to it.

So you sit there and look at each others boners?

That sounds pretty gay.

Your friend obviously doesn't kid. If he says he's going to do something wrong, stop him imediatly.

Have an orgy.

If this was a sleep over, according to man laws, your friend is to be considered to have no genitals by all men.

And wow... Thats... Gay... Like he wants you to see him....

Holy shit! I love Left 4 Dead! Whats your gamertag?!

At 12/28/08 04:57 AM, HaloFan96 wrote: Holy shit! I love Left 4 Dead! Whats your gamertag?!

Best post Ever.

At 12/28/08 05:01 AM, Minty-Hippo wrote:

At 12/28/08 04:57 AM, HaloFan96 wrote: Holy shit! I love Left 4 Dead! Whats your gamertag?!

Best post Ever.

y thx thar

Its perfectly normal for your friend to wank on the bed behind you, havent you ever watched any gay porn? n00b

Just tell him to quit fapping and save it for later, like when he goes back home?

he masturbates because of undeads??? OMG