Attention: Noisy Ass Neighbors

[Kain-Ceverus]

Dear motherfuckers,

Stop stomping up and down the goddamn stairs. This goes for your rotten little spawn as well. I work from 9 to 6 every day, get home and spend 3 hours with my girlfriend, then go to sleep, and a couple of nights ago you decided to have a few drinks and rape my brain by keeping me up until two in the fucking morning. Your nasty little bastards also seem to find it fun to jump from the middle of the stairs and land on the bottom, not six or seven feet from my head, seperated by what could only be comparable to cardboard. Your lack of humanity and courtesy astound me. If I may, I'd like to offer a few helpful hints to keep me from going full-blast batshit insane on you.

First: Heavily dose yourselves and/or your stupid spawn with tranquilizers. Hell, I don't care if you stuff their little faces with drain-o or ajax, just shut the fucking hell up.
Then: Drive down to McDonalds while heavily doped up on the tranquilizers, order one of everything with a side of forgiveness, and eat until your little stomachs fucking pop.

After: I don't give a flying fuck. I'm a hair's width away from setting traps all over my fucking hallway, nails under the carpet, razorblades on the handles. I swear to fucking god shut the hell up or I will make this place your tomb.

Love,
Nik Gray
Apartment 2

[TOEZ]

I believe that was supposed to be for email, right?

[Kain-Ceverus]

Nope. Brooklyn Brett retired. I felt the internet was lacking a smart-mouthed asshole who kicks names and takes ass. He is awesome and I miss him :(

[SirLebowski]

Dear Old Man in Apartment 2,

We are all out of Drain-O. Sorry.

Hugs and Kisses,
Motherfuckers.

[Kain-Ceverus]

Good idea, but I want to sleep, not strangle myself to death with the scottish's only weapon besides alcohol.

[Sensationalism]

At 12/21/08 11:35 PM, Vrejvax wrote: learn bagpipes.

practice at 3am.

they'll get the message.

Yeah. Get back at them.

[Zyphonee]

Aww... come on dean, where's your sense for partying?!

Sorry, don't hurt me, I felt like I had to say that!

[Glowstick-warroir]

I've always been an asshole neighbor. I'm up all night, so I'm making noise when I other people sleep. I play my music to loud.

Hell, even when I'm at other peoples houses, I had sex with my gf at her house when it was 2 am and the neigbors yelled at us to keep it down.

It's fun to be a jerk.

[jhol1007]

At 12/21/08 11:35 PM, Vrejvax wrote: learn bagpipes.

practice at 3am.

they'll get the message.

or better yet, dont learn bagpipes and practice at 3 am!!

[Puzzled]

my my someones cranky

[Kain-Ceverus]

I moved 1300 miles out here to be with my girlfriend and i live in a shithole. I learned that two months prior to moving in a girl was raped by two guys in my fucking apartment. No wonder the carpets and paint are all new. I pay 310 a month, water included. The water fucking sucks though, since the pipes are all shitty and the water smells/tastes like sulfur. Thank goodness I got a water purifyer. If I wanted to shit my pants and vomit daily from the water, I'd live in mexico.

[Homosecksual]

At 12/21/08 11:50 PM, Kain-Ceverus wrote: I learned that two months prior to moving in a girl was raped by two guys in my fucking apartment. No wonder the carpets and paint are all new.

Must have been sloppy sex.

[friendly-bear]

noisy neighbors suck, mine sings kareoke till 12 midnight.

[Sunglasses]

At 12/21/08 11:26 PM, Kain-Ceverus wrote: nails under the carpet, razorblades on the handles. I swear to fucking god shut the hell up or I will make this place your tomb.

Stop giving me ideas!

make the voices stop.

[Fire]

Tie a wire across the bottom of the stairs near the ground. Have bucket, mop, and trash bags ready.

[Hellian00]

Get as many sub woofers as you can afford, and fucking play the most bass-heavy shit you can fing for 48 hours straight.

[36Holla]

This thread is very similar to my situation, almost creepily so. I also have my bed against the wall that separates my room from the apartments main stairwell. I too can hear anyone going up or down and if anyone decides to have a conversation in the hallway, I can hear every word. Luckily for me, people don't jump down the stairs. I suggest leaving something undesirable at the bottom of the stairs that will make them think twice about jumping down there. Something like a row of banana peels or a scatter plot of thumbtacks. You know, fun stuff.

[VitalNovix]

Comparable to cardboard?

Have you ever been in a mobile home? Some are actually nice, but seriously, I threw a watch at my wall, and now theres a hole.

We can fucking dent these goddamn walls.

If you can put a dent in your wall by putting slight pressure on it, then I believe you have the right to say its comparable to cardboard, but seriously, I dont think apartment walls are comparable to cardboard.

And, a good noise reducer, might be pricey, but is also slightly useful. Tackboard the entire wall. Just a big thing of tackboard.

[YoungCeezy]

haah thats a pretty greazy letter

that will shut them the fuck up fo realz homie

[Luke]

Pull fire alarm at 3 am, that's the best way, then they got the fire department coming there, and a bunch of other shit going on.

[YoungCeezy]

At 12/22/08 01:56 AM, EpicFail wrote: Pull fire alarm at 3 am, that's the best way, then they got the fire department coming there, and a bunch of other shit going on.

thats a dumb idea
how about goin to pay 5000$ fine homeboy

[Kain-Ceverus]

It happened while I had my friend and girlfriend over today. They thought I was exaggerating. Nope.