How do I get a gothic girl?

[VaughanJohnson]

I'm just a pretty normal guy and I've had girlfriends before, but... hell... I want a dark ass gothic girl. One of those really pale, petite girls that wears the thigh high leather boots and has purple hair. I've asked some friends of mine if they've ever been attracted to gothic women and I don't think I'm alone.

Have you ever been attracted to a gothic girl?

So how would you go about meeting them, what the hell do gothic people do for fun anyway?

What would you say to get them interested?

[The-Laugher-Of-Lor]

Become gothic, and all of the gothic girls will swarm on you. Unless you're not really goth, of course. You have to mean it.

[Drugged]

They're easy as fuck, that's all I know.

[Glowstick-warroir]

Go to a rave.

[Deathspam]

If what you say is true and you're a normalish person who's had girlfriends before, than you'reprobably more attractive then most of those goth guys who wear skinny jeans and makeup. Then again, the goth girs you want to get are probably attracted to those goth guys who wear skinny jeans and makeup. So wear skinny jeans and makeup.

[Hebzzz]

Go in a crypt or at a graveyard it's like a Bar open for normal people but for Gothic people

[NekoMika]

I have a goth for a friend. Pretty sweet person

just takes time and knowing what happens

[VaughanJohnson]

At 12/18/08 10:03 PM, Deathspam wrote: So wear skinny jeans and makeup.

I don't think I can pull off that garbage. But I can be all dark and philosophical. I can definitely relate to some of the self-destructive attitudes.

...i can also fuck 'em rough in bed if that's what they're looking for haha

[MEPHILIS1337]

At 12/18/08 10:01 PM, The777Demon wrote: I just sold my soul to the dark lord Beelzebub last night. If you do me tonight you can have one of my seats of power in hell.

That's basically how you get them

[NekoMika]

At 12/18/08 10:11 PM, VaughanJohnson wrote:

At 12/18/08 10:03 PM, Deathspam wrote: So wear skinny jeans and makeup.

I don't think I can pull off that garbage. But I can be all dark and philosophical. I can definitely relate to some of the self-destructive attitudes.

...i can also fuck 'em rough in bed if that's what they're looking for haha

You can never comprehend shit can you?
Everyone love to hate.
Why else would I wear all black?
black gloves
black clothing
black sunglasses
As we speak I am wearing the sunshades with a deep utmost hatred towards all of you

[Shnam]

Go smoke in a graveyard and read dark poetry on a full moon. The ladies will be all over you.

[Rush-1991]

Offer to skull fuck her, she's goth she likes skulls and shit!

[HellzYeahCCR]

Pretend to like their music and thats guaranteed ass, no problem. This experiment is successful and is repeatable.

Either that or see if you can stand to listen to them talk about themselves for at least 45 minutes. Thats second base at the least.

[rewindmindE]

Go golfing , you will meet alot of them

[TheJamoke]

First you're going to have to make some personal physical appearance changes to yourself. Avoid exposure to the sun at all costs, stop eating anything nutritious, no vitamins whatsoever, even take up bulimia as a hobby until you become pale and emaciated. Pay a legally blind man with 3 fingers on each hand to give you a hair cut, and finally grow to the height of 6'4" or taller. Start wearing a black leather trench coat at all times and a talon claw-ring on each hand. Get five piercing on your face to seal the deal.

Next, break the ice by asking her to add you on her MySpace. Exchange shitty poetry with each other until she is comfortable enough to meet you at a coffee shop at 3 am. Then buy her a 20 dollar gift card to Hot Topic, a Cannibal Corpse CD, and some back acne deep cleansing scrub. Listen to her complain about her fascist parents for 6 hours and top the night off with a rave where you try to act hard when someone bumps into you by accident, then proceed to get your ass kicked by 4 dudes wearing Abercrombie button downs with popped collars and a shit load of Tag body spray. Tell her you didn't want to fight because you're not a "conformist meathead jock douchebag," like your asshole father was, then write about it in your diary.

You'll be in like Flynn.

[NUBANATOR]

At 12/18/08 10:13 PM, shadowchaotailsevil3 wrote:

At 12/18/08 10:11 PM, VaughanJohnson wrote:

At 12/18/08 10:03 PM, Deathspam wrote:

You can never comprehend shit can you?
Everyone love to hate.
Why else would I wear all black?
black gloves
black clothing
black sunglasses
As we speak I am wearing the sunshades with a deep utmost hatred towards all of you

AAAHHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH AHHAHAH
ur names Simon and ur mom dresses u

[VaughanJohnson]

At 12/18/08 10:17 PM, THEJamoke wrote: First you're going to have to make some personal physical appearance changes to yourself. Avoid exposure to the sun at all costs, stop eating anything nutritious, no vitamins whatsoever, even take up bulimia as a hobby until you become pale and emaciated. Pay a legally blind man with 3 fingers on each hand to give you a hair cut

Next, break the ice by asking her to add you on her MySpace. Exchange shitty poetry with each other until she is comfortable enough to meet you at a coffee shop at 3 am. Then buy her a 20 dollar gift card to Hot Topic, a Cannibal Corpse CD, and some back acne deep cleansing scrub.

You sound like you've tried this before...
You should write a book.
This is almost step by step instructions. Make sure to add a clincher that will definitely seal the deal with any goth girl.

[Tivadar44]

Pretend that you are a nihilist, that you are misunderstood, and that you are tortured by that. Or you could just get a regular girl to dress up for you, and avoid all the petty, angsty BS you would incur.

[Kogey]

Sacrifice a goat in front of her.

[firemaker60]

Trust me, you don't want one. They are nothing but a benign cancer waiting to become malignant in the future, and spreading their fail on to the next generation.

[gibleto]

At 12/18/08 10:17 PM, THEJamoke wrote:

You'll be in like Flynn.

You're such an asshole.

So why did I laugh so hard?

[BlindShoemaker]

i some of them quite attractive, but just be your normal self, don't change yourself so it seems as if you have similar intrests, just to act peppy like a cheerleader or something

[AnonymousAlchemist]

Goth girls can be hot, depending on exactly what they wear and what they look like. But if I were you, I wouldn't try to get a goth girlfriend, as not only getting one is difficult (they will know you are not goth, even if you try to act it), it will seriously damage your reputation. At least, that's how it is where I live.

Oh wait, you're on Newgrounds. You shouldn't have to worry about a thing called "reputation."

Ha ha (pitty laugh at the stupid overused joke).

[onibabanana]

I once saw a gothic girl that I thought looked really cute and made me kind of jealous walking while I was driving...
She was skinny, had short pale-blonde hair and pale skin. And she wore a black tank-top and those big black pants with the chains n stuff on them.
I forgot what they're called.
But anyway, there aren't many gothic people in my town and that made her seem even cooler.

[zbox101]

Goths, emos, all people who act dark just want to play a role, just like all people who say they are evil. All of them are pathetic human beings who allow themselves to be hurt for the abuse or just to be accepted. I'm TOTTALLY, not a sociapath that likes to manipulate them with brutal efficency...at all...yeah... don't date goths.

[DevourerJay]

goth girls are hot for some reason...
i dated one... it didnt make it a week... but she was hot... and yet she wasn't... i dunno

[morlockcleric]

when i saw this i thought of one thing
Ummmm, hello! I was wondering: how goth is my frock?
I got a thing for horror movies and mope rock
but I can't shock my hair up (I ran out of stock).
And just like that, Frontalot ran out of talk.
It was tragic, unheard of, never seen, me:
out of rhymes when they usually come indefatigably.
But me here talk good? No, bad talk do!
Like my tongue got encrypted right before I lost root.
Like my small talk got box-rox0red on a prior boot.
It's moot; she only dates guys in chokes and Docs,
not brutes lacking eyeliner like I lack.
But look, I'll put a little on, plus lip shellac,
just to stand next to that and dream about love.
Of necessity, that has always had to be enough
'cause I can't talk to goth girls. I just stare and stammer:
my name is MC Frimmer Frammer.
And damn her if she giggles. Damn her double if she laughs.
Goth girls like it when you double-damn it twice fast.

Goth girls, goth girls: they're the girls that go
to see the nerdcore rapper with the geeked out flow.
At the show you can see the black lace on parade.
I met a hundred dozen of 'em but I ain't got laid.

Got shunned by her at the Rocky Horror premiere.
She steered clear of the nerd crowd but I heard loud in my ear
the disdain that she held for my type:
"always geeking on the computron." I get hype
on the stage! She might notice me then and observe
that I'm "ironically hip in some flip universe."
And her purse in patent leather held in fishnet glove
could then contain mp3 player with the Front filled up.
Her name is Nyteshaed, yo don't call her cherry tomato.
She looks like Paisley Tinkle but poisonous like Topato.
She says her hair got attacked 'cause it's black and it's blue.
She's got a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac tattoo.
Legs all deep in the boots, boots all up on the heels -
yes, the kind to make a certain type of fetishist squeal.
The ordeal I endure: this close to her splendor
yet besieged by my shyness; try this: I surrender!
I'll render my intentions in the usual way
(home alone, suicide girls up on the cathode ray).

IRL, my woman tells me that I shouldn't be coveting.
I tell her "yo, you better get in a coven then."
It's like eek, I get to sleep on the couch for a week
all watching old Elvira videos on TV.
Yeah, hee hee hee, laugh it up. You don't live like I do:
at the mercy of any sister with wrist scars and black eye goo.
I tried to get into some cheerleaders and failed
(Banana Repugnant and tanned, so bland and so stale).
I avail myself of the local cafe, light a clove up,
thumb through Camus (in French, which I can't read, but so what).
I think that goth could flower in nerdcore's embrace.
I converted Edward Gorey's lettering into a typeface,
befriended vampires on LJ and MySpace,
even put that spooky echo filter on the bass,
but I can't talk to goth girls. I just stare and stammer:
my name is MC Frimmer Frammer.
And damn her if she giggles. Damn her double if she laughs.
Goth girls like it when you double-damn it twice fast.

Goth girls, goth girls: they're the girls that got
their souls stuck somewhere between the kettle and pot.
Frontalot been enamored of them since I was young
I met a hundred dozen of 'em, never ever humped one.

[Sexylegs]

I love how shadowchaotails always gets ignored. Always

And I wouldn't know, goth girls always hang around the movies in the mall near where I live on Friday nights... try that?

[DaWgSOLja729]

No, because they would rather sacrifice little children than have sex

There's a difference between girls that like metal and goth girls, my girlfriend likes metal, but she doesn't set herself apart as a complete freak

In all seriousness, tho, just sit at hot topic for a while

[xXxAlecxXx]

Walk up and say 'Yeah so i'm thinking about killing myself in the name of Satan'