Theres so much I want to learn

[Wtfpwn]

I want to attain so many things right now, but I don't have the money or time. I'm just a struggling, poor community college student, I don't even have enough money to move out of my moms house right now, but I want to buy and learn how to play the guitar, I want to learn how to break dance, and I want to start mastering a fighting style like muay thai. I also want to finally get myself a car, I'm tired of taking the fucking bus everywhere. It's embarrassing when everyone your age is driving, even girls you might be interested in, while you're still taking the fucking bus everywhere. And I'm tired of working shitty entry level jobs- I want to be done with school and get my degree so I can start making decent money. Every time I buy grocies I think "shit, spending more money I really can't afford to spend". I want to be able to buy as much food as I want without having to worry about not having the money to move out in a month when I have to transfer to a school thats an hour minute drive away.

Yes this is a pointless thread, I'm bitching about all the things I'm trying to make work for me in life that aren't happening. I've been trying my hardest to find a job the last month (got fired from my job like 2 weeks ago for not being a fast enough worker...at making subway subs), sending in resume after resume after application to everywhere, but the economy is so shitty right now that no one is hiring. I must have turned in at least 35 resumes and 5-6 job applications and only got 2 interviews. still waiting to here back from the 2nd interview but at this point its not looking good.

I'm just so fucking tired of struggling. I want to live my life the way I want to live it. I don't need a fancy car and a big house, I just want to learn some things, eat well, and have a little bit of money to buy the things I need. But it seems like no matter how hard I try, the universe just doesn't want to reward me for my efforts. It's really wearing on me. Every time I get close to finally getting a car, it falls through (last time was a week ago...the car got bought out from underneath me). all the job hunting I do never pays off. I do nice things for people, I've lent 2 different friends large amounts of money and they fucked me over both times so I'm out about 400 dollars. Dont even get my started on my "friends". I was with one of my friends at 7-11 about 3 months ago, when he decides to run out the door with a 24 pack of beer. we both get caught, they say I'm an accomplis since I didn't try to stop him and I walked in with him, so we both get slapped with a theft 3 charge, 20 hours community service, 450 dollar fine, and mandatory theft talk class. Having a criminal record has stripped me of my ability to get retail jobs, making my job search that much harder, and I'm not even a thief, I just used to have some shitty friends(haven't spoken to that douche bag since, or any of my other un-legit friends I made in high school).

And my moms a fucking CUNT. she wouldn't do a parent plus loan for me because she is an alcoholic and doesn't want to give up her ability to buy all her expensive wine and get professional massages so that I could get 8,000 dollars to go to college and live on my own more easily. The damn loan would have only been a 50 dollar a month payment too. And she charges me 400 dollars a month, which she doesn't need (she survived just fine before she started charging me rent), and makes me buy all my own food. Shes been making me do this since I turned 18( i know my profile says 19), 4 months ago. She won't even take the time out of her oh-so-busy schedule of getting drunk every night to give me a ride to the grocery store, even when I've completely run out of food and she starts bitching at me because I drank a glass of her milk and had a couple spoonfuls of her apple sauce. and she brings home a new guy every few days, gets drunk with him and fucks him, just like she used to do when my sister was 5 years old (a year before I was born). she would bring home men every night, do drugs like meth, heroine, coke, ect, with them, and then have sex with them right on the couch in front of my sister. she has ruined her relationship with both of her kids because she is such a selfish, crazy bitch. my sister moved out when she was my age because she went to a university, where they had dorms. I really wish I had done well enough in high school to take that route. Thats completely my fault.

I guess the purpose of this thread is to try to reach out and connect with other people who are struggling right now. The world has been taking a continuous shit on me for the past half year and I'd like to know if anyone else can relate. So if you know how I feel, or maybe you want to tell me to shut the fuck up because your life is so much worse, I'm all ears.

[ZyklonB]

welcome to the real world, realizing that life isn't what you hoped it would be is the first step in the direction of suicide.

[MasarapProductions]

At 12/3/08 03:55 AM, ZyklonB wrote: welcome to the real world, realizing that life isn't what you hoped it would be is the first step in the direction of suicide.

Psh, real world my ass. This real world you speak of is only for either people who run into extremely bad luck, or those that don't plan their future properly.

To the OP: Sorry dude, that really sucks. I can't relate since I have a pretty good life right now, but I'm sure things will look up eventually. Once you get your degree, things should go smoother from there. Once you get a good job, make decent money, move out of your mom's, get a car(and make enough money for gas), you'll probably be able to learn all those things you wanna learn, and do all the things you wanna do. Although like you already mentioned, the current situation you're in is completely your fault, but just as you got yourself into that mess, you can get out if you plan things right.

[Serphyas]

Sorry bro. I don't have enough life experience to give you worthwhile advice, I'll leave that up to other folks. I'd just keep on job-hunting; there's gotta be someone hiring, somewhere.

And keep your grades up in CC. Don't make the same mistake twice.

[void123]

i know its hard right now but what comes around goes around and things will start to pick up but it might not happen by tommorow. get your mum into rehab and if she doesnt go along with that then at least stage an intervention or something. im guessing you may have already learnt this lesson but dont trust anyone anymore, all the people in the world are just looking for a chance to try and fuck you over for their own personal gain. i think you need to focus on the more realistic goals right now such as getting through college with a job and secretly tucking a small about of money away each month (even 20$ is enough) then you can try and get away from your mum and cut off all contact (she deserves it) have you thought about trying to see if you can move in with your sister? might be worth looking into, also the next time your mum brings a guy around get out the baseball bat my friend. this might sound crazy but it will get your point across that your mum is a cheap whore who doesnt deserve 2 wonderful children that are just trying to keep their head above the water in life

BTW if you want any more advice just pm me as i am training to be a psychotherapist and i like trying to help solve peoples problems

[Wtfpwn]

At 12/3/08 04:03 AM, MasarapProductions wrote: Although like you already mentioned, the current situation you're in is completely your fault, but just as :you got yourself into that mess, you can get out if you plan things right.

I didn't say my situation is my fault, it's not. I said it's my fault that I'm not in a college dorm right now, in a much better living situation. I didn't have as much control over everything that has happened to me besides that. Unless you want to say it's a rape victims fault for being raped in a dark alley, because if she had done better in school, she would have been in the harvard dorms instead of walking down a dark alley at night on her way home from work at the office. If you see it that way, then yes, by that logic everything that has happened to me is completely my fault.

At 12/3/08 04:10 AM, void123 wrote: i know its hard right now but what comes around goes around and things will start to pick up but it might not happen by tommorow. get your mum into rehab and if she doesnt go along with that then at least stage an intervention or something. im guessing you may have already learnt this lesson but dont trust anyone anymore, all the people in the world are just looking for a chance to try and fuck you over for their own personal gain. i think you need to focus on the more realistic goals right now such as getting through college with a job and secretly tucking a small about of money away each month (even 20$ is enough) then you can try and get away from your mum and cut off all contact (she deserves it) have you thought about trying to see if you can move in with your sister? might be worth looking into, also the next time your mum brings a guy around get out the baseball bat my friend. this might sound crazy but it will get your point across that your mum is a cheap whore who doesnt deserve 2 wonderful children that are just trying to keep their head above the water in life

BTW if you want any more advice just pm me as i am training to be a psychotherapist and i like trying to help solve peoples problems

My sister is actually doing well. She did what I should have done. She had excellent grades in high school, and had excellent grades through all the 6 years of college she just finished and is now working as a lab technician making more than 50k per year. Her and her fiance have been helping me out a lot out of pity. They paid for my tuition this term, and they sent me 500 dollars in gift cards for safeway as my graduation gift so that i could buy food. Without them, I would be in an even worse situation.

and believe me I plan to cut off all contact with my mom when I move out. I don't ever want to speak to her again. I hope she dies, at least that way she would be beneficial to me via the life insurance money I would get. she's done nothing but make my life harder. She kicked me out last may, both me and my dog. what happened there, in a nut shell, was she locked my out of the house every day 3 times in a row to try and get me to leave because she was tired of having to support her 17 year old son. I called the cops on her all three times, they came and told her she had to let me back in. finally on the 4th time, she locked me out and went to work, the fucking bitch. So i broke in through the garage door into the house (big mistake). she then got the police to agree to escort me to the house we had just moved out of but no one was living in yet. I stayed there for a month, and didnt bother trying to get the police to let me back into my moms house even though she was legally obligated to provide me with shelter and food or provide me with alternative shelter and food as I was still 17 at the time. I then had to bounce around from home to home, living with friends. I also had to find somewhere for my dog to stay which made my life that much harder (she hates my dog and refuses to take care of him. he has to come with me when I move out again. hes really a nice dog too, its a shame shes such a bitch to him). for one week I couldnt find anywhere for my dog to stay, so I had to leave him in the backyard of my old house. it made me feel horrible, I came to see him only once a day to feed him and give him water, and he whimpered and cried every time I left again. he thought I was abandoning them, the poor old dog. he has abandonment issues stemming back to before we got him, so he was especially mentally fragile about this particular thing. not to mention hes now 12 years old.

I managed to move in with a couple of roommates for the next month, it felt good to have my own home again. unfortunately i moved in with the most horrible, disrespectful people possible. they threw parties every night until 4 AM when I just wanted to sleep so I could be awake for work in the morning. they completely trashed the place every day, I was always cleaning up after them and they refused to clean up after themselves. they ruined the carpets with nasty ass stains, almost broke my xbox twice, and broke my computer mouse when I told them to not touch my computer. I barely had enough money to scrape by but they decided to live off of the food I bought. one of the roommates didnt have a job the whole time we lived there and just mooched off both me and my other roommate.

that was the final straw for my sister, she stopped talking to my mom since then. She and her fiance` completely told my mom off, told her she was a horrible, selfish, worthless parent and just a bad person in general and that she needed to grow up and accept responsibility for her kids. this was coming from my sister, who had always been close with my mom, until about a year ago when she started getting especially bitchy and alcoholic.

Wow, I must sound really whiny and self centered. I'm really not, scouts honor, it just feels good to let some of this shit out. All of my legit high school friends went off to college, have supportive parents who are putting them through college and sending them money for food, and are having the time of their lives. Then theres me. I feel really alone in my problems. It makes me feel like life singled me out and decided to piss and shit all over me.

[poxpower]

You pay your mom 400 bucks and you don't have money to move out?
The hell?
Get a roomate. Grab a paper and start looking for places to live, I'm sure you can easily get a decent little room for 400 a month.

You won't have a lot of stuff, but who cares? Don't live with that woman.

[Wtfpwn]

At 12/3/08 03:40 PM, poxpower wrote: You pay your mom 400 bucks and you don't have money to move out?
The hell?
Get a roomate. Grab a paper and start looking for places to live, I'm sure you can easily get a decent little room for 400 a month.

You won't have a lot of stuff, but who cares? Don't live with that woman.

it's not that easy. After first and last months rent, security deposit, and pet deposit, it costs about 1200-1400 dollars to move in. I have 800 dollars. Believe me, I'm not living with her out of choice.

[Jemehaji]

i eat bitches like you for breakfast

[DJ-Divinorum]

This isn't livejournal, chances are no one here gives a fuck.

Just deal with it and move on with life, it's called "growing up" for a reason.

[Jemehaji]

At 12/4/08 01:55 AM, DJ-Divinorum wrote: This isn't livejournal, chances are no one here gives a fuck.

Just deal with it and move on with life, it's called "growing up" for a reason.

hey fuck you fucker i give a fuck and so does everyone else who posted in the thread obviously you fuck. and yea i know the way i showed that i give a fuck was by calling him a bitch its the way i express love you fuck

[Wtfpwn]

At 12/4/08 01:55 AM, DJ-Divinorum wrote: This isn't livejournal, chances are no one here gives a fuck.

Just deal with it and move on with life, it's called "growing up" for a reason.

I'm suprised it took this long to get a reply like this.

[DJ-Divinorum]

At 12/4/08 01:57 AM, Jemehaji wrote: hey fuck you fucker i give a fuck and so does everyone else who posted in the thread obviously you fuck. and yea i know the way i showed that i give a fuck was by calling him a bitch its the way i express love you fuck

lol internet rage. it's hilarious.

[HogWashSoup]

All your knowledge needs at a touch of a button.
Google

[Cur1y]

At 12/3/08 04:10 AM, void123 wrote: all the people in the world are just looking for a chance to try and fuck you over for their own personal gain.

BTW if you want any more advice just pm me as i am training to be a psychotherapist and i like trying to help solve peoples problems

That doesn't seem like very good advice. You'd think you would have more faith in humankind. Besides conflicting what you said in the first sentence, pessimism isn't best way to cope with life problems and the human limitations brought by society.

[moriako]

At 12/3/08 03:50 AM, Wtfpwn wrote: I want to attain so many things right now, but I don't have the money or time. I'm just a struggling, poor community college student, I don't even have enough money to move out of my moms house right now, but I want to buy and learn how to play the guitar, I want to learn how to break dance, and I want to start mastering a fighting style like muay thai. I also want to finally get myself a car, I'm tired of taking the fucking bus everywhere. It's embarrassing when everyone your age is driving, even girls you might be interested in, while you're still taking the fucking bus everywhere. And I'm tired of working shitty entry level jobs- I want to be done with school and get my degree so I can start making decent money. Every time I buy grocies I think "shit, spending more money I really can't afford to spend". I want to be able to buy as much food as I want without having to worry about not having the money to move out in a month when I have to transfer to a school thats an hour minute drive away.

Yes this is a pointless thread, I'm bitching about all the things I'm trying to make work for me in life that aren't happening. I've been trying my hardest to find a job the last month (got fired from my job like 2 weeks ago for not being a fast enough worker...at making subway subs), sending in resume after resume after application to everywhere, but the economy is so shitty right now that no one is hiring. I must have turned in at least 35 resumes and 5-6 job applications and only got 2 interviews. still waiting to here back from the 2nd interview but at this point its not looking good.

I'm just so fucking tired of struggling. I want to live my life the way I want to live it. I don't need a fancy car and a big house, I just want to learn some things, eat well, and have a little bit of money to buy the things I need. But it seems like no matter how hard I try, the universe just doesn't want to reward me for my efforts. It's really wearing on me. Every time I get close to finally getting a car, it falls through (last time was a week ago...the car got bought out from underneath me). all the job hunting I do never pays off. I do nice things for people, I've lent 2 different friends large amounts of money and they fucked me over both times so I'm out about 400 dollars. Dont even get my started on my "friends". I was with one of my friends at 7-11 about 3 months ago, when he decides to run out the door with a 24 pack of beer. we both get caught, they say I'm an accomplis since I didn't try to stop him and I walked in with him, so we both get slapped with a theft 3 charge, 20 hours community service, 450 dollar fine, and mandatory theft talk class. Having a criminal record has stripped me of my ability to get retail jobs, making my job search that much harder, and I'm not even a thief, I just used to have some shitty friends(haven't spoken to that douche bag since, or any of my other un-legit friends I made in high school).

WOW, I ve never heard of someone going through that all at once, but if you need someone that will listen to you, im here buddy. But one thing is true, you not getting too good of a eduaction isnt ALL youre fault, im sure one of your dickhead "friends" just screwed around with peoples grades in the schools computer. like you said, if their brave enough to steal, then their brave enough to (even though its stupid) mess with a schools computer.(Longest post I ever made!) But im serious about me being here for you. Be Very sure to cut off ALL contact with your mom, and try to stay in touch with youre sister and/or her husband.

[Tiago11103]

Anti lulz for you

[Wtfpwn]

At 12/4/08 06:25 AM, moriako wrote: .

WOW, I ve never heard of someone going through that all at once, but if you need someone that will listen to you, im here buddy. But one thing is true, you not getting too good of a eduaction isnt ALL youre fault, im sure one of your dickhead "friends" just screwed around with peoples grades in the schools computer. like you said, if their brave enough to steal, then their brave enough to (even though its stupid) mess with a schools computer.(Longest post I ever made!) But im serious about me being here for you. Be Very sure to cut off ALL contact with your mom, and try to stay in touch with youre sister and/or her husband.

Obviously my grades in high school were 100% my doing. thanks for you support, and of course i'm never speaking to my mom again. shes a horrible person and parent, she does nothing but bring me more problems, and of course i'm going to stay in close contact with my sister and her fiance...I every reason to. they help me keep my head above water, without them I don't want to know what my situation would be right now.

[Orange]

yeah I wish I could live like 500 years with my current body and brain :D

[CNRHKick]

Life isn't fun, it may seem it is when you look at other people, but it's not fun. The kids you're looking at are spoiled.

My friends have everything. Xbox 360's, ps3's, Wii's, parents that don't bitch at them, nice houses, good computers, good grades.
I don't have shit, my parents annoy the fuck out of me, I have a shitty house, I have a shitty computer, and I have terrible grades.

My brothers were able to get jobs when they were my age, but they changed the laws a while ago so now I can't get a job for 2 more years. I can't afford shit.

My parents expect me to get gifts for all my relatives, but I've got no money to get anything, due to me not have a job because of the government.

My parents say we can't afford things when I ask them to buy me something, but then they go out and get expensive things to make the house look nicer, even though they're never gonna sell the house.

My parents think that bitching and yelling at me will get my grades up, and after yelling they say that they are trying to prevent me from getting stressed out. I'm already stressed and they're the ones causing the stress.

So in conclusion, life isn't great. People tell you it is, and those gay "Life is Good" shirts are telling you life's great, but life is very shitty. Shittier than those shirts.

[chris4322]

moral : people are assholes.

[Wtfpwn]

At 12/4/08 06:55 PM, CNRHKick wrote: Life isn't fun, it may seem it is when you look at other people, but it's not fun. The kids you're looking at are spoiled.

My friends have everything. Xbox 360's, ps3's, Wii's, parents that don't bitch at them, nice houses, good computers, good grades.
I don't have shit, my parents annoy the fuck out of me, I have a shitty house, I have a shitty computer, and I have terrible grades.

My brothers were able to get jobs when they were my age, but they changed the laws a while ago so now I can't get a job for 2 more years. I can't afford shit.

My parents expect me to get gifts for all my relatives, but I've got no money to get anything, due to me not have a job because of the government.

My parents say we can't afford things when I ask them to buy me something, but then they go out and get expensive things to make the house look nicer, even though they're never gonna sell the house.

My parents think that bitching and yelling at me will get my grades up, and after yelling they say that they are trying to prevent me from getting stressed out. I'm already stressed and they're the ones causing the stress.

So in conclusion, life isn't great. People tell you it is, and those gay "Life is Good" shirts are telling you life's great, but life is very shitty. Shittier than those shirts.

Dude, you're 14. Sure, your life doesn't sound like barrels of fun, but you really don't know what stress truly is yet. Your parents pay for all of your expenses and your grades really don't matter unless you aren't passing your classes. but even then, you can easily do horrible in high school, put in some work at a community college when you graduate, and get a decent job. you can even become a doctor if you want to do all the extra school. High school grades matter, but can easily be over written.

I would love to trade my problems for yours. Parents yelling at you. Easy school work you choose not to do. Parents sprucing your house up instead of buying you video games. Family members hoping for gifts from you (well too fuckin bad, you're 14 and don't have a job. they'll get over it quickly.). Those are such small, insignificant things to worry about. I don't mean to sound self-righteous, but I hope you don't think any of your problems are as bad as not having money for food, your friend landing you a criminal record, or possibly being kicked out onto the streets in the near future. Again, I'm not trying to talk down to you and say my problems are so much worse...but they kind of are. No questions asked.

Thanks though for trying to provide me with some comfort (I think thats what you were trying to do?)