" DeModded "

[Rague]

Prolouge - DeModded

Back in the ages of old, sonny, back before all your new fangled Review Systems and Co-Ed Voting and even your Forum Standards; Yes, I do mean THAT far back.
Far in the past, in what you kids may call ' The Primitive Age of Newgrounds', I was not the same old geezard sitting here telling you about the classic years of my adolescence. No, I was something MUCH different.

What, you ask?
Well, whether you believe it or not, I was a moderator. Yup, a powerful, overseeing-NG moderator. Born as a pure blood canidate, next-in-line in my family bloodline for modification, Tom Fulp approached me, himself, and asked me

" Hey, you want a job? "

Eagerly, a responded with a calm, passive, cheerful smile.

" OMFG! OH SHI! HOLY FUCKIN' CRAP. THX MAN1 U 133&~ THX SO MUCH!NG-R3NHG3BNG0ERBH8754FNBJ0-34JGUB54!!!!!
!3Pr#@*&#%@^@&RFGNREG43-0T354NBY747943BT9437T Y74383BT08B4T48GT80T1YT4087TY814HT10 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Now let's sit down in that new fancy blog room of yours and listen to how I became the proud, persistent, grandfather you see today. Be warned! DON'T TELL YOUR GRANDMA, SONNY! If she finds out I'm telling this story for the 300th time, oh she'll crack open the whip on both our arses!

- rubs ass, mentally remniscing the pain of past whippings -

Newgrounds is copyright and in ownership of Tom Fulp. I do not write to gain money, popularity, a life, or anything. I write because I'm bored and I just love reading responses, They make me laugh, which is slowly increasing my life expectancy. Which is apparenlty very short due to several bad smoking habits I have, posssibly due to my family history of smokers. But I digress, I do not claim or wish for ownership of Newgrounds because this is the worst site ever. If you are reading this, then you are probably a fag. Like me! WOOHOO! Let's have a FAG PARTY! CockFight anyone! WEEE!!!!!!!!!

RESTRICTIONS APPLY. RESULTS MAY VERY.

[Grimfenix]

At 5/4/07 10:54 PM, Shawtey wrote: what the fuck just happened?

i dont know im confused too...

[yodd]

I think it zoomed over me head.

[Pog]

I don't know if this is spam... a horrible attempt at humor... or some shitty as creative writing... I'M SO CONFUSED!

[SadisticMonkey]

I think we should all press the 'back' button and pretend this never happened.

[Reaperyami]

This is more confusing than that time I divided by 0.

[Cema]

At 5/4/07 11:03 PM, SadisticMonkey wrote: I think we should all press the 'back' button and pretend this never happened.

What happend? ..Where am I?

[Pog]

At 5/4/07 11:04 PM, Reaperyami wrote: This is more confusing than that time I divided by 0.

Only the leet can divide by zero you fail...

[Reaperyami]

At 5/4/07 11:11 PM, Pog wrote:

At 5/4/07 11:04 PM, Reaperyami wrote: This is more confusing than that time I divided by 0.

Only the leet can divide by zero you fail...

This is coming from an 07' user? Come back in 08' then we'll talk.

[Pog]

At 5/4/07 11:20 PM, Reaperyami wrote:

At 5/4/07 11:11 PM, Pog wrote:

At 5/4/07 11:04 PM, Reaperyami wrote: This is more confusing than that time I divided by 0.

Only the leet can divide by zero you fail...

This is coming from an 07' user? Come back in 08' then we'll talk.

Yes because we all know sign up dates mean everything... what the fuck is wrong with you.

[Rague]

site- in this case, a planet.
internet- in this case, outer space.

Chapter 1 - Uhhh.... I Forgot.

BLOG Entry #45: September 22nd, 2006; Google System

My name is Rague.
I was born on Newgrounds.com, the main entertainment hub of the universe. My parents, well, I don't really give a shit Recently, Newgrounds has been flooded with noobs and racists who think they can waltz on in and post what they percieve as intelligent .
Fuck those shitheads. This year's crop of users really suck. I swear to god, when the NG Account Draft comes round', they'll have to beg sign up. Hell, they won't even survive Basic Survival Training
As I type this, I am currently leaving the site in my brand new web-ship, the 'http://en'.
My only armaments, dual tri-barrel DELL Cannons and a Point-and-Click Cursor Laser attached to the front bow and the top of the ship.

I'm floating weightless in the bottomless pages of the internet, a wide space of no rules or background whatsoever. Honestly, I hate it. There is no top of the ship, or
bottom.
There's no left or right or diagonal.
There's only up and down, and even the top astronomers online are unable to describe or explain why or how that's possible. All I can say is I hate it....

I HATE with a hate that never-before existed online...

BLOG Entry #46: November 4, 2006; Google System
I'm sitting in this ship, in the cockpit, alone, with the controls wrested within my shaking hands. When I said I hated the internet, I meant it. The Zero G forces ARE fpissing me off, consistently battling eachother, rocking the ship up and down.
It's getting to me, but I will perserve.

BLOG Entry #47: December 1st, 2006; Ship "http://en" in Orbit of UrbanDictionary
FINALLY!
I've reached orbit of a planet, and judging from the low-security, it's the UrbanDictionary.com .
The one site worse than Wikipedia.com, it's UBER LOW security is a mock to
security administrators everywhere. Thank god winter is starting early....

BLOG Entry #48: December 5th, 2006; Surface of http:// UD
Shit!
Of course, of all planets I arrive on. I arrive at the one with guns a' blazing and pirates a plenty.
Some fucker pulled a knife on me, I pulled a GLOCK G-9 on him and put a bullet through his skull. Even worse, winter's staring to kick in, I ain't got NO EggNog, and the pub's closed.............

BLOG Entry #49: December 23rd. 2006; Urban Dictionary.com
This is fucked up.
Apparently, there IS security on this third-world site. Now, because some fucker swiped my Account Id, My ship's been locked andI'm freezing my fucking ass of in a prison.
Life is hell......

[Snakemaster-13]

"A mod in the old days of NG"? You have a bigger ego than my prostate on a friday night. And I was here before you, not that that makes any difference. This story blows. I can't follow it, and WHERE'S MY FUCKING APPLE JUICE?

[The-Doctor]

err.... i was hard pressed to find the startings of a story there, better luck next time pal

[Girouette]

Fuck all of you who say it sucks, I think it's creative. Gives me something to do at least.

[TheWhatsit]

... i think my computer just drugged me...

[Rague]

At 5/4/07 11:33 PM, Rague wrote:

A fictional telling of how I went from being a random schmoe from Newgrounds, to a web surfer, to a moderator, and then back to an everyday schmoe. A lot of what I type probably won't make sense. I'm trying to be creative, (and I can see it isn't working). I post these BLOG entries as a sort of set-up.

BLOG Entry #49: December 23rd. 2006; Urban Dictionary.com
This is fucked up.
Apparently, there IS security on this third-world site. Now, because some fucker swiped my Account Id, My ship's been locked and I'm freezing my fucking ass off in a prison.
Life is hell......

Chapter 1 (continued..)

BLOG Entry #50: December 25th,2006; Urban Dictionary.com
I can't believe this shit.
It's fucking Christmas, I could be at home at Newgrounds, watching the oh-so- common classic christmas flashes. It's so unfair! I got penalized for [operating with a weapon without an account] for 6 WHOLE MONTHS! Screw this! I'm getting my ship back and then I'm getting the hell off this site!

BLOG Entry #51: December 31st, 2006; http://en leaving UD's orbit
Wow.
This week just got interesting.
I managed to escape that dirt world, and with my ship and a few provisions. Now there are 3 people on this ship. Me, in the cockpit manuevering us through the internet.
An african american pilot, called 'Talic', manning the DELL Cannons. He's bulky, but has a strange cool aura around him. Not literally of course, but he was okay to be around. On his back, he carried a huge holster with two giant magnums. I'm interested where he got them from.....but he's been giddy about leaving that prison.
And a 10-year old kid, sitting at a mini table and playing with a small number cube. He wouldn't give me his name, instead each time I asked he repeated
" 42.."
They both were prisoners at the time, Talic swore he'd never met the boy, but his facial expression told otherwise.
I still didn't give a shit, I just want to go home.......

BLOG Entry #52: January 13th, 2007; http://en, Google System

Talic told me something I couldn't believe...
I was a bad influence for the child. I'm always swearing and crap.
I don't swear a lot, do I?
No?
That's what I fucking thought.
Damn liar...
Oh, we've finally re-entered the Google System. Newgrounds is approximatley 6,772 pg.s away. I'M HEADIN' HOME!

BLOG Entry #53: February 7th. 2007; http//:en. in orbit over Newgrounds.com
Ugh.
The security's checking us. I forgot, I never got my Account ID back! And Talic's not exactly the friendliest-looking of characters....
Damn it!

BLOG Entry #54: February 7th, 2007; Newgrounds Prison
I've some to realize something...Maybe I do swear to much.
Talic was given to the 1337 Gladiator Grounds, a near-unconquerable labyeinth full of 1337 Uber Zombies. In short, he's going to get eaten by dead users. No doubt about it, and he's going in unarmed. I was under mouse and click, and the Kid was thrown in BAN(Boring Atonement Nodes), a system of sub-nodes for those who've commited no TRUE Crime, but wish to atone for their actions. It was a simple matter of converting and re-converting people to NGism.

BLOG Entry #55: February 21st, 2007; Newgrounds.com Prison Link
Well, the time's finally come.
This may be my last Blog.
Tom Fulp's coming to see me personally, I don't know why, maybe he wants to add insult to injury. I HAD given them a run for their money in orbit. I took down at least 27 fighters of the NG AirForce, a sub-division of the NG Army but for some reason bigger. That meant something, the biggest record of ships destroyed was 13. That's how good their airforce is.
And as I write this, a moderator, Dobio, is walking towards my cell to escort me, most likely to a BLAMification Chamber. They could have at least let me die a quick,painless deletion death. BLAMification was just another word for slow, bloody, murder.
My last words are:
PD YSSSAIMR WO "STOL"

[aquaticmole]

Post all stories here... PLEASE?

[aquaticmole]

At 5/5/07 12:28 AM, aquaticmole wrote: Post all stories here... PLEASE?

oops wrong link sorry
Also sorry i may be Double posting

Right link

[Speedy]

Im sorry, but no matter how many parts you make, i will still have no fucking clue about what your taking about.

[mastergurosp]

Damn is this your period or something? I dont remember noobs being so pissed of for nothing

[Infintesimal]

I don't get it.
What did that have to do with Demodding?

Are you having fun with this?

[WatchesUPee]

What...the.............................Fuck?
Nuff' Said.

[Girouette]

At 5/5/07 12:29 AM, aquaticmole wrote:

At 5/5/07 12:28 AM, aquaticmole wrote: Post all stories here... PLEASE?

oops wrong link sorry
Also sorry i may be Double posting

Right link

Doesn't seem too short to me... and I seem to be the only one supporting this.

[The-Barracuda-Guy]

At 5/4/07 11:57 PM, Girouette wrote: Fuck all of you who say it sucks, I think it's creative. Gives me something to do at least.

THIS gives you something to do? Wow... can you say: 'no life'?

[Jimmy-jackass]

At 5/4/07 10:58 PM, Grimfenix wrote:

At 5/4/07 10:54 PM, Shawtey wrote: what the fuck just happened?

i dont know im confused too...

I think that was his intention.
I've become 10.3 % more EMO from reading this.f

[Girouette]

At 5/5/07 12:38 AM, The-Barracuda-Guy wrote:

At 5/4/07 11:57 PM, Girouette wrote: Fuck all of you who say it sucks, I think it's creative. Gives me something to do at least.

THIS gives you something to do? Wow... can you say: 'no life'?

Nothing much to talk aobut at night. Might as well read some wierd story.

[Zeromus]

I'm getting old.

[Rague]

Ahhh...I love reviews.
Spent so many minutes editing, and I'm still loling the replies.
I think it was worth it to hear the responses.

Now enough with the goddamn blogs.....

My cell door creaked open, two prison gaurds armed with M240 Light Machine Guns waited by the bars as Dobio stepped in. He cracked an invisible smirk, invisible to most of us for the time being. He extended his hand, I sat up and backed against the wall in uncertainty.

" What's your problem ? " He exclaimed.
He brought his arms behind his head and stretched mockingly " You noobs are all the same. Always waving your butts at people like you're 1337. "

" I'm no noob, faggot. " I said, practically requesting a death wish.
Yet Dobio stood there, keeping his arms stretched. He remained silent for a few seconds, then laughed to my surpirse " Yup...all the same.."

" I told you. I'm not a noob, dumbass. I'm pretty sure I just wiped out 27 of your boys. "

"And then looked what happened," he shot back calmly, " You've been detained in a musty old cell, no weapons, and you've been stripped of your ship and possessions. You were so lightly armed, a .45 with a few clips and a butter knife. "
Dobio spun a sharp knife between his fingers, easily manipulating it's movement between each finger from pinky to thumb. It slid downwards, and his hand pulled it backwards before shooting it straight at me.
KWSHHH!
It stabbed into the wall, a few centimeters from my head. I jumped, having not expected that level of accuracy but also remembering it. I won't go into that, I will say that I was spooked. If he really wanted to kill me, he could. And both he and I knew it.

" You jumped. "
" You threw a f**king knife at my head, you b*****d ! " I cursed back.
" You really need to stop cursing. You're not gonna make many friends if you keep that up."

I stopped upon hearing that.
Hadn't Talic said the same thing? , I wondered.
The moderator quit his little game, finally deciding to take my capture seriously. He moved his hand in a fast motion, ordering the gaurds to wrestle me from the cell ad outside into the bleak muddy hallway.
" Follow me. " was the last thing he spoke before strolling out into another hallway.

I viewed the numerous banned users, squirming in their wretched cells for freedom. I almost felt pity, but I had matters of my own to consider. I needed to escape. There was no way possible Tom would let me rejoin without my ID. Today was really beginning to suck.....

The gaurds dragged me to a door, inside was an elevator with Dobio relaxing inside.
" How did you do that? " I asked in awe.
" I can do anything " he answered.

As the door closed, Dobio leaned against the wall. His face told me he was bored, most likely considering prisoner escort a dull task. It soon became hell as the irritatingly repetitive elevator music started playing. If you listen long enough, the music can drive you to insanity, someone once rumored. The rumor has spread through Newgrounds faster than the Kitty Krew, and it kept him away from elevators for at least a year.

The doors zipped open, Dobio walked out and approached another door. A retina scanner revealed itself in a wall panel, a red light traced and scanned the mod's eye, calculating his idenity and unlocking the door.
Dobio whispered to me "Good Luck, Rague".
I shook me head, dumbdtruck at what he just said " How'd you know my name? "
I anticipated some lousy mod-like response, but he then utttered in my face
" I know EVERYTHING....... "

[shaded-restraint]

At 5/4/07 10:54 PM, Shawtey wrote: what the fuck just happened?

wham-bam wtf just happened?!

[Pog]

At 5/4/07 11:35 PM, Shawtey wrote: well when you factor in your ability to be a huge douche and the fact that you're a faggot... i think it does matter...

I've had accounts longer than you and I still don't like you wither or not I decide to change my account should be of no relevance to you, and neither is your opinion of me and if you wish to keep up the personal attacks by all means continue to break the rules but I don't plan on responding.