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Oh, and I just remembered some rich kid with servants who had the last name Bates. I think it was from some movie, but the servants called him "Master Bates" at one point. He was too young to know what it meant.

Thanks, guys. Your posts are indeed hilatious. TOEZ, don't worry, you didn't crush my fragile little feelings (and that was DAMN good copypasta.) Hongkongexpress, I suggest you use your post 3,000 here. You know, what better thread to do it in?

I'm just a sophomore in high school right now, but I have plans to go into aviation and become a pilot. I will make my college choice based on if they can support my low-demand career choice. I highly doubt I'll join the military, but I hope that I find a niche with being a corporate pilot or an airline pilot. I wouldn't want to work for Fedex, UPS, or any other shipping agency, though. I would be bored out of my mind flying boxes instead of people for 8 hours a day.

At 8/28/09 11:43 PM, AlphaCentauri wrote: Needless to say, I have some social skills I need to improve on.

No arguments here, pal. My sister is emo, minus the "cheery most of the time" bit.

At 8/28/09 11:40 PM, TOEZ wrote:

At 8/28/09 11:36 PM, Genocide wrote: He means real name, TOEZ.

Goes right through and gets to the point...

So because I don't have a hilarious backstory, it's automatically a +1 post in your mind? Fine, here's my backstory:

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

And that is my story.

Alright. I am curious newgrounds, what is the funniest name you have ever heard of? I felt like posting this thread after hearing that my principal for the year would be Harry Peters. And hearing about retired race car driver Dick Trickle. So, have at it.

I believe you just made the most confusing thread today.

At 8/19/09 12:23 AM, UberCream wrote: Well, if you actually mean most RANDOM, I would have to say, death by penis.

I lol'ed at your sig.

At 8/19/09 12:01 AM, Bringerofpie wrote: I wuv eeting cock like there's no 2morrow

Not a great 2nd post here.

Alright. So I crack open Halo 3 for the first time this month, and play a few rounds of Grifball. Then I remember how boring Halo gets, so I turn it off and start playing my guitar. Then, 45 minutes later, I decide, "Hey. CoD4 would be fun." So I put CoD4 in my Xbox. When my Xbox fires up, it takes me to my homescreen, where I notice I have one new message. I find out it's a voice message from someone I just played in Grifball, so I put it on and he says something to the effect of "Hey. I'm sending this message to everyone I just played against. We're playing Grifball with Mike Meyers, and we need more people. Come to our party if you want in." So, frantically, I put halo back in and join his party. But it's only him and 2 or 3 other people that I recognized, saying how fun playing with Mike Meyers was. Apparently, he logged off about 10 minutes before I plugged in.

I am pissed.

Madness Interactive way: Getting clubbed with a urinal by a man in a suit.

2nd way: Your dick going on strike after jacking it off so much, and completely shutting down. Thus you can't jack off or pee, and your bladder explodes. FIN

...and your point is? Save these personal stories with no point for your userpage.

I've seen worse.

At 8/18/09 11:39 PM, X0 wrote: Goatse.jpg

God, the horrors! GO BACK TO 4CHAN, YOU CON OF A BITCH!

That reminded me of a hilarious Jeff Dunham airport bit.

At 8/18/09 11:20 PM, KeyboardCat wrote:

At 8/18/09 10:26 PM, RyuMaple wrote:

At 8/18/09 10:24 PM, estrago1 wrote: Sew it back on.

Sewing is for pussies, i would NAIL IT ON!!!

Nailing is for cowards. I'd WELD it on.

Welding it back on is for pussies. I'd hold it in place and have Chuck Norris punch it until it stuck there.

That's funny, seeing as how all the goth ppl get made fun of regularly.

Ah, you don't need to keep going. I already saw my name up there. :D

It would taste like dicks and shame. And I'd shit tanks for weeks.

I came here expecting to laugh at fat kids. But oh well. It's not really the company's fault for offering fast food to children. It's the parents fault for giving it to their kids nonstop. Plus, fast food chains actually post the nutrition values of their foods publicly. You can't be mad at them for saying "We sell burgers." Be mad at the parent who goes off and buys 50 of them for their kids.

I liked the one when they were showing on TV the smallest bikini that a girl is legally allowed to wear to the beach. Not that I've seen the show or anything.

*sniff* Billy Mays is cleaning God's crapper now...

Sometimes when I can't sleep, my remedy is to flip around in my bed. After that, I normally fall asleep within 15-20 mins. I have no idea why.

At 7/3/09 12:22 AM, RandomExploit wrote:

At 7/3/09 12:20 AM, zoke wrote: OK. So,based on this thread and the last thread, how much pot have you gone through in the last hour or 2?

Not enough. His response was the best of them all so far.

I didn't say it wasn't good. It actually made me lol. I just said it smells like pot.

At 7/3/09 12:18 AM, reviewer2 wrote: Smack the alien and masturbate, then cum all over its face. While it was disoriented, i'd stick my dick in a cloning machine while I was ejaculating, then teleport a bunch of semen into women and have LAWTS OF BABEHS. Then i'd molest the alien to death and drive the UFO around and rain continuously ejaculating dicks down on the world.

OK. So,based on this thread and the last thread, how much pot have you gone through in the last hour or 2?

I would go Chuck Norris on their alien asses, hijack their pimp ship, and drive myself to VEGAS, bitch!

Or get alien raped. I hope its the first one though.

What the hell is it for? What is it supposed to do? Does it even have a purpose?

Oh, Transformer finally went through with his offer?

At 6/4/09 05:08 PM, explodingbunnies wrote: ORDER IS ADJECTIVE,COLOR,ANIMAL.

Get it right people

Alright, Exploding Pink Bunnies.

you anus, you

The last 4 letters of my last name.