Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I still have the Sonic the Hedgehog handheld and a REALLY crappy Alladin game.

Even when I was young I knew the Alladin game was shit.

Scorpions would just "appear" and kill me for no reason.

The Sonic was good though.
Still is.

Pardonst me whilst I snicker.

The Yellow Rose of Texas.

At 1/13/05 11:31 PM, TankGuy wrote:

OMG ITS ZEKEYSPACEYLIZARD!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I LOVE YOU!

O_O
Erm....Hello.

Thanks. :>

My penis is so large it blocks out the sun and casts a shadow across the land.

That means I win.

Pwned.

I would have someone chop my legs off and sew large lobster claws to the nubs where my legs were.

Then the people could look into the sky and shreik:

SWEEET MOTHER OF FUCK! ITS THE DERANGED LOBSTER MAN! HIDE THE WOMEN! THE BASTARD SHALL DESTROY US ALL.

And then I'd poo my pants.

I have a DS and I love it.

Of course, I dont jizz on it.....but thats another story.

There once was a genie
With a ten-foot weenie
And he showed it to the lady next-door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
and now it's only 10-foot four

The genie later died of massive blood-loss and hemmoraghing.

Director? - Wes Anderson/Tim Burton

Band? - Steppenwolf/ The Who

Novel? - Pearls of Lutra / The Once and Future King

Childhood memory? - Winning a mug for an art contest when I was 6. :(

Person? - My father

Animal? - Turtles. Because they fucking rock.

I love the Star Syndicate.

Their cartoons make no sense, but they make me laugh hilariously.

They obviously have talent, they just execute it in a way very bizzarely different to most. And of course, people grow enraged by things that are different that they don't understand.

eyeballs eyeballs everywhere.

Right-o.
Chances are this topic has been done multiple times, but I'm bored and a bit drunk so fuck it.

What are your religious beleifs?

Do you beleive in God?

What religion do you follow?

Are you agnostic or atheist?

Do you beleive in an afterlife?

Do you beleive that a pony made of matchsticks will whisk you away to Finland when you die?

That's all I got. Discuss or somethin'

At 1/13/05 10:26 PM, Blam_Zombie wrote:

At 1/13/05 10:26 PM, kyle_chamberlain wrote:

I wanna remove a shitload of my movies....

/

Only administrators can do that, you n00b

That sucks.

There's movies of mine I'm so ashamed of and want to delete.

:frowny emoticon:

At 1/13/05 10:23 PM, MaFooFa wrote:

O!!! THE MAN IS CONFUSEDIZLLED, WUT U TALKIN ABOUT DEREK?

I indeed have enjoyed the weather in france, but the fudge is a bit too mellow for my taste.

O!!!!

No, no, no.

Crack is only good in SMALL amounts, my confused spammy friend.

At 1/13/05 10:18 PM, ThreeStar wrote: You're shittin' me.

Hey!
A star syndicate member.

You could say I'm a fan of you guy's work.

But not your grandmothers, I'm afraid. :(

Monkey's are on fire?

You sick little bastard!

Your ape-burning ways shall not go unavanged!!!1!

If the above websites aren't your cup of tea/coffeee/lemonade/jizz/shit,

then try http://ign.com

Warning though. IGN is less 56k friendly than Newgrounds.

Making Flash cartoons is really simple.

1.)First buy flash.

2.)Then get confused by the shit tuorials.

3.)Then grow angry because there is no one to help.

4.)Afterwards, spend the next 3 years teaching yourself every aspect of the program.

5.)Then put cartoons on the internet.

6.)Then grow depressed at how much better everyone is than you and that there is no way you will ever be able to draw well enough with a mouse to acheive anything as high in quality as theirs.

7.)Then you give up because you hate the world and all the people in it and yourself for having no talent with this damn program.

8.)At this point you should be quite drunk.

9.)Its at this time you should adopt the "fuck everyone" mentality.

10.)Make cartoons only you like and screw everyone else.

11.) You should now develop 3 or 4 fans

12.)Rinse.

13.)Repeat.

Making Flash cartoons is really simple.

1.)First buy flash.

2.)Then get confused by the shit tuorials.

3.)Then grow angry because there is no one to help.

4.)Afterwards, spend the next 3 years teaching yourself every aspect of the program.

5.)Then put cartoons on the internet.

6.)Then grow depressed at how much better everyone is than you and that there is no way you will ever be able to draw well enough with a mouse to acheive anything as high in quality as theirs.

7.)Then you give up because hate the world and all the people in it and yourself for having no talent with this damn program.

8.)At this point you should be quite drunk.

9.)Its at this time you should adopt the "fuck everyone" mentality.

10.)Make cartoons only you like and screw everyone else.

11.) You should now develop 3 or 4 fans

12.)Rinse.

13.)Repeat.

I own time is the greatest random thing since Arfenhouse.

Huzzah!

At 11/29/04 11:46 PM, NuclearBomb_Clock wrote:

At 11/26/04 05:09 PM, Randy-Solem wrote: , and they always give their games top marks

Yhea, mayby that has something to do with the fact that they only make top-games??

Wow. You are so witty..........................wait, no.

Holy Exploding Monkey Rectum!

I made top 5.
Hurrah!

Mkay. In about a week it shall once again be halloween!

The day when kids leave their homes and trot about getting free candy and other sweet delectables.
People like me, who are too (unpleasent to look at and old) to be trick-or-treating will of course be doing other things.

So.....when the day of Dark Saints (halloween) is finally here, what will you be doing?

I, Zekey the Insufferable (self-appointed title), am going to spend the first half of my night scaring the living crap out of small children.

Why on earth would you do that Zekey? That sounds so cruel!

Yes.
Yes it is.
Do I care?
No.
No I do not.

Then after that I will be handing out candy (like the Good Samaritan I am) to kids while I am over at my friend Nim%'s house. He will no doubt want us to look like a Satanic cult like last year....with me doing my disturbingly accurate Gollum impression and hobbling about like a Hunchback (or as we call them today: "special people")

After that I am sure I will probably sit my rotund ass down in a chair and watch some sort of horror movie marothon. Oh wait! Aqua Teen Hunger Force is having a marathon that night! I shall watch that. I'll take offbeat comedy over ridiculous-gore horror movies any day.

Well thats my pathetic night.

What will you people be doing this Halloween?
Smashing pumpkins?
Teepeeing houses?
Partying like its 1999?

Do tell! Do tell!

At 10/11/04 11:46 PM, Kamasutra wrote: at the last frame put :
gotoAndPlay(2)

Oh you kind angel.

God must have sent you to help me.

Thank you so very much.
You have no idea how greatful I am.
I was about to go next door and kick my neigbors poodle in my anger,

But the cartoon now works.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you etc.

At 10/11/04 11:42 PM, Astropuff wrote: Couldn't you just have something at the end of the movie that SKIPS back to the frame/scene JUST AFTER the preloader? That way after you hit "PLAY" once, the movie never gets back to the preloader-ever-

No. Why?
I dont know actionscript.
If you dont have a solution, dont post.
Because I am pissed as hell at this motherfucking program.

Why, Jesus, why?

I ask for a simple thing.
One simple simple thing.

All I want, is for a cartoon to LOOP around and skip past the preloader after the first time. This way, the cartoon loads, and after hitting play, the preloader never shows itself again.

But, what a fool I was. I should have realized from my past multiple failures with the shit called actionscript, that this would not work. I should have known that no matter how tediously accurate I followed the instruction on the free preloader that you download here, that it would not work.

Typical. I should have seen it coming. Wonderful practical joke there, people. Really.

Its nice to know that adding the action _root.play()

does NOT in fact, make the cartoon loop past the preloader but in FACT makes it skip past the preloader at the beggining already. Leaving the cartoon looking like shit.

Lovely.

Why, are there no good tutorials for this idiocity over the net? Why, no matter how many times I try, cant I make my OWN preloader. Why must nothing work? I dont know. Nor do I care. I have given up.

Amen.
Fuck actionscript.

My friend is working on a Flash cartoon. And I am helping him as he doesnt understand alot of things in Flash, and I am providing alot of the voices.

BUT!

When he submits it to Newgrounds, how exactly do we get both our names onto the cartoon in the "Author" area?

By that I mean, on the screen where the "Watch this Movie" area appears, and on the far left, it has the author's name and profile.

But there is a way to put several authors.
Its done all the time.

But how?

"Worst Topic Ever" is an understatement in this particular instance.

At 9/6/04 04:10 AM, Darklilangel23 wrote: hey your in luck i got a bunch of my dark angel crew online at the moment and we will flag his reviews as abuisve

Wow!
You fellows are quick!

Thank you very very much.

I have not any emoticons ready so.....

Me <3 U GUYZ

Yo.

I rarely post in here.

I rarely complain.

But there has been a little cockwipe who has been leaving random, stupid, and abusive reviews in all of my cartoons.

His reviews are short, one-line-long, have nothing to do with the cartoon, and are so stupid, I can actually FEEL my brain cells depleting as I read them.

Now it has proven upon numerous occasions that the "report abuse" button no longer works.

So here is his profile.

http://newgrounds.com/gold/profile/viewprofile.php3?id=436198

He calls himself "SUPAPOPE"
He has the IQ of my ass, and the writing skills of a deranged babboon slapping its own genitals on a keyboard.

It disgusts me that he is not banned, or punished.
Where do these people come from?
Wherever it is, it needs to be nuked.

And I keep noticing more and more of this, and not just from him.
Why cant this problem be fixed?
Make an example of this SUPAPOPE jackpipe, and make the world a better place.

Please.

For the kittens.

Aw, man!

I was hoping the Great Eggscape would be in 2nd place at least.

That thing was fecking brilliant, and original.

Oh well.