Clone yourself, and have the clone see it with her in place of your real self!

Or just tell her you don't want to. Which ever suits you.

Dear past Zag,

Quit going to McDonald's 5 days a week!

Sincerely,

A very bloated present Zag

A site that is attempting to host every episode!

They're still looking for a few, but it's an awesome site and they are updating it with season 6 episodes each week! YAY!!!

I tend to sleep at around 12:30 or 1:00. 2:00 if I really come down with insomnia. I go to take a piss before going to bed, because I cannot sleep if my bladder isn't fully relieved. After that, I just lay there with my eyes closed.

Someone's been watching too much "unforgivable" on Youtube.

The average person swallows 10-12 spiders in their sleep every night.

Congratulations! There couldn't have been a better holiday to get this position, huh?

A hurricane, without a doubt! It's more brutal, destroys homes, kills people, etc. A drought, at the most, is just a shortage of water and lack of rain.

That pisses me off! I refuse to believe something wasn't horribly rigged.

My favorite part is when people call it "climate change." As if those of us who know global warming is a myth are gonna fall for a simple name change.

Seven is their lucky number! Everyone at Microsoft is crossing their fingers, praying to God that this one will go well!

My first thought was of that thing about the boy and the girl having had a baby almost a year ago, but this is far worse! Holy shit!

I'm guessing Tom and April will have parental controls enabled, so that that never happens.

It's the rock fist, dude! Don't TELL me you haven't heard of the rock fist!

LOL @ a back to school thread being bumped during the holiday season.

Seriously, though, doesn't it beat showing up the first day totally unprepared?

I don't usually buy stuff online. I used to do Amazon, but their delivery system went horribly downhill.

I can put any sort of food in my mouth, swallow it, and eventually have it protrude from my anus as feces!

When in doubt, just go with "Yo mama!" Cop out-ish? Yes! Can it be countered? Don't think so!

Because it would only bring Google down by a large margin.

Garsh, Canas! I'm flattered!

Like everyone else said, those underwater creatures probably evolved from dinosaurs. Just like lizards and everything.

Boxers. If you wear briefs then you are not a man.

That is the most epic veggie product ever! I'm gonna look everywhere for that. Seriously!

I once accidentally my toe! Bad times.

What you need to do is get a wet paper towel, wipe the blood, put some Neosporin on the cut, then keep a band-aid on there for several hours.

Hell no! I'm laying down.

I don't like to do that, ever. It's bad enough doing so with water, but with any flavored drink, it's just nasty.

This is not the first thread to address this issue. I'm pissed about it too, but there's nothing we can do about it. The best thing to do is to move on!!!

Aww I'm late!

Happy birthday anyway dude.

Greatest movie ever? I disagree, although I do like it a lot.

I haven't seen Slumdog though. I hear it's not special.

Hot dog eating competitions! You know when people dip hot dogs in water and eat them as fast as they can, and whoever eats the most in a certain time wins. The first time I saw one of those, I lost my appetite for hot dogs for nearly a year!