At 9/29/09 12:38 AM, Stoicish wrote: -You ever notice that after you finger some girls the smell seems to stay on your fingers for fucking ever? I swear to God I bleached my fingers and they still smelled like old tuna and mayo.

I actually don't mind the smell of my current girlfriend, I find it somewhat attractive.

-You ever notice how if you are on a long dry streak that the girl you wouldn't have touched with a 10 foot pole 6 months back you now are willing to do horrible nasty things to and ask for more?

No, not really. Longest I've gone without sex in the last 3 years is 4 months, I had no extra urges; I actually had less because it was a horrible breakup. (I'm back with the same girl now, though.)

-Has a girl ever given you a handjob and it be so bad that you have to tell her, "Stop, okay, stop. Listen, just let me do it."?

No, I've never said anything about it, but I've had a bad one that made my dick bleed before though. She was like "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" and I was like "Uhh. It's no big deal." Unlike you, I actually like getting laid and would rather not turn her away.

-Has a girl ever given you a blowjob and have a tendency to scrape her teeth on your dick.

Yes, but only in the beginning of the relationship. She's super pro now.

-Has a girl ever been so bad at giving head that you got pissed at her and left? Happened to me once.

Are you serious? ... Why would you do that?

-Have you accidentally put it in the wrong hole if you did doggy style?

What the fuck were you doing? Playing golf at the same time?

-Face it guys. We don't last long. If you say you are a stud who can at least last as long as 15-30 minutes then you are a fucking liar or by some magic miracle your dick is made out of sandpaper and it takes 5 hours for you to get off. On average we last about 3-8 minutes. Tops.

I have gone for 45+ minutes before in one session, without a break. Admittingly, this rarely happens for me because most of the time my girlfriend is actually the one who tells me I have to finish up cause she's getting sore, and I don't always have that kind of endurance.

If you have a lot of will power and some good control over yourself and your penis you can really last a lot longer than you think. Just figure out what works for you, I can last 10+ minutes every time just because I want to make sure she orgasms first.

-Yeah, it feels better without condoms, but so does being able to sleep 9 hours a night for the next 18 years. Also, it feels even better if you don't piss fire. I always wear one and you should too. I don't care if she is on the pill. That doesn't mean she's not carrying moss in her wet cave.

I've used the pull-out method whenever we don't have condoms with my girlfriend for 2 years now, she hasn't gotten pregnant yet. We've had scares and I've been prepared to kill myself a couple of times, but I guess we're pretty lucky. I do NOT recommend doing this though, some girls are much more fertile than others. On the other hand, some people fail to realize how amazingly difficult it can be to even purposely have a kid, which brings me to believe those accidents are either extremely unlucky or they just decide to blow it inside 3 times a day.

-If ladies shave their pubes you should probably trim up too. Just a suggestion. Even if you aren't getting any its a good habit to start and it makes your junk look 2x bigger. Actual line I've heard from a girl, "Wow, it's so big."

Yes, this is one of the few correct things you've said. Shaving is a plus in all aspects, cleaner, looks better, feels better, looks bigger. There are no negatives, people say it itches and stuff but after the first week or two of regularly shaving it goes away forever.

You seem to have a pretty weird sex life, I don't envy you in the least.

I'm completely satisfied with sexing up my girlfriend and only her.

That's pretty cool.

Useful for some pointless entertainment, idk what I'd ever use it for but I'm bookmarking it.

It smelt like victory.

At 7/7/09 06:37 PM, Xavon wrote: Try giving him food and luring him out.

Worst case scenario, you can always keep him as a pet. Squirrels are pretty cool to have around.

Lol squirrel. I've got my brain in another place right now.

You know what I meant.

Something tells me that isn't your uncle Randy's house or his party.

Oh wait, it's not. You're just a fail troll.

At 7/7/09 05:43 PM, IHateBaronVonBadGuy wrote: Well, I see the general intelligence of the Newgrounds public hasn't changed.

It never does and it never will.

Try giving him food and luring him out.

Worst case scenario, you can always keep him as a pet. Squirrels are pretty cool to have around.

Every death can be predicted, for example; we're all going to die eventually.

I just predicted the death of everyone on the planet.

I'm glad he's dead by the way.

I'm the silent angry type.

I pretty much just shut down in order to protect myself and others, I used to have an extreme temper when I was really young and I've since then learned to control it because if I didn't, I was going to wind up hurting myself or someone else.

Now I just keep my mouth shut and do my own thing, I walk away. No reason to get angry, anger is a disability.

I live in Michigan and everyone here says "pop." I personally use "soda" whenever I can just because I think it sounds more correct and I don't look like an idiot to the rest of the world.

The logical thing to do is to tell the story to us as if we actually cared about your health.

It's like a game for everyone, we can all pretend it matters.

I don't know what's wrong with most of you in this thread, but the first time I smoked I got fucked up and I don't remember jack shit about that night. A fifth of jack and a bowl later and I'm blacking out and eating meatballs at some old peoples party and getting yelled at for eating them with my hands.

Needless to say, weed is now my best friend. A poor investment maybe, but any spare cash goes straight to the herbs.

Just because you're clumsy doesn't make the shortcuts worthless. I learn and use shortcuts whenever I can, it drastically improves the speed of which I do things.

Altec Lansing 5.1.

No clue on specifications, I could never find my model online again.

At 4/11/09 09:02 AM, Twilight95 wrote: You were here before me, or you signed up before me. No one gives a shit about the General anymore, all the threads are either stupid or some boob pissing over the old BBS. It didn't even change, just less spam and more sad saps compaining about the old days. And what are you going to do about it except bitch?

I don't even know what you're getting at. This was my point.

Go ahead and amuse me with yet another pathetic plan to "fix" this place.

Amuse you? You're hardly worth amusing. You're so easily upset, proving another point, learn when to give up. If you don't like it, don't post. I couldn't care less.

At 4/11/09 09:06 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Post count +1 and possibly for attention. It really is more annoying than funny though.

Yeah, it really is. Twilight over here is trying to get some attention himself.

Well that's no fun! I don't know, whatever I post is usually pretty similar to what I'd say were it an actual conversation, I don't think I'd care if people saw.

I won't lie, I'm a lot more harsh on the internet. I wouldn't judge people necessarily based on what they post, but it helps to get an idea. You can deduct quite a bit from a persons post.

At 4/11/09 08:46 AM, pyromaniac616 wrote:

At 4/11/09 08:45 AM, pyromaniac616 wrote: I hope you realise the sheer irony of this topic?

Sorry, not irony, hypocracy.

It's neither ironic or hypocritical. You obviously don't understand my position.

When you can point out to me a reason for either, let me know.

At 4/11/09 08:38 AM, Twilight95 wrote: You guys take shit too seriously. If people want to have fun and act retarded, who are you to criticize?

You know how I guessed your age?

You sound like a fucking idiot spewing that bullshit. "Have fun and act retarded"? Why would anyone willingly degrade and make a fool of themselves?

And what have you ever done here to contribute?

Just some guy who no one knows and won't listen to.

You act like this is supposed to affect me in some way. I could care less if nobody remembers me. I was here years before your a prime example of why I stopped being active.

At 4/11/09 08:44 AM, Sensationalism wrote: I was gonna post in one of those, but I was afraid I might get banned, so I didn't.

Did you bring your flippy floppies?

Yeah, I'm sure people are just having fun with it and know what it is. We don't need to be super serious or anything.

No, it's the internet, we have to be completely serious.

Really though, I can understand having fun and using decent humor, but you should know what I'm really targeting here. It's this stale, childish, just plain foolish humor that people seem to be infatuated with. As I said, most of this shit is just degrading and makes them look like a fool, even if you don't care what people think why would you even do that to yourself anywhere?

On an even serious note, the internet is in fact becoming a larger part of the worlds daily life, believe it or not. You can't tell me people will be satisfied with this stuff forever, eventually people will care what you post and where you post it.

Take that sirtom dilemma for example, that's real world shit tying into the internet with what he posted right there. Granted, I'm not talking about that kind of stuff, but it shows that the internet isn't just a completely anonymous internet anymore. If you act like a fool online, in time that's going to tie into your daily life in some way.

At 4/11/09 08:34 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Are you talking about the posts Kyle was making, and people's responses to them?

That's partially the reason. To speak correctly it's what through me over the edge.

I just don't fucking get it. I see the same people I saw years ago when I was still active that still post, so I cannot be the only one who can't stand this shit, but what is anyone else doing to clean this place up?

I just don't see it. People are too lenient, too stupid.

How the fuck do you people still get trolled so easily.

I really don't even know what else to say, what's wrong with some of you people. You give attention to people who are obviously seeking it, which just makes you all fucking idiots. Do you think that little number next to the word "posts" means anything? Fuck no, so just don't post.

I cannot believe the stupidity of some of the users in the newer generations, I really can't. This forum is nothing but recycled waste, how is anyone from older years supposed to even deal with half the shit you idiots post? There's a reason I'm so hateful in my posts, it's because I'm one of the trolls, I fucking hate most of you at first glance, and I know you'll reply no matter what I say. Learn to combat it and make us bored, god damn it's not that hard.

Not to call out the Moderators or anything, but what the FUCK are you guys doing? You know I'd love to come back here some day and admit that's it's really been cleaned up, but that's some high hopes.

Don't get me completely wrong, I'm here because I have nothing better to do, and even though I hate, I still contribute and help some people when I actually see something worthwhile. When I'm not doing that I'm flaming as hard as I can while shouting "FLAME ON" to clean up some peoples shit.

So tell me, what the fuck are you guys doing to help?

At 4/11/09 08:19 AM, killer32 wrote: russain is my native language. what i meant to say is that op sounds like fucking 13 year old girl,
who gets exicted by every shit that happens to her. and the girl hes dateing, sounds like fucking 17 year old pedo who says that he is in group home, beacuse so op would not find out were he really lives now thats a more reallistc story

For one, he is 13. He's young.

He's stated he's met her before, so that automatically throws your "theory" out the window.

This is typical behavior, it doesn't make him a little girl.

You're just a butthurt little bitch that wishes someone would pay attention to you because you didn't get enough love growing up.

At 4/11/09 08:08 AM, killer32 wrote: your abuisly laying and you sound like 13 year old girl and that girl your dating sounds like 17 year old fat dude who says his group home so you woudent find out were lives i think this is a more realistc verison

What the fuck language are you speaking?

If English is your native tongue I fear for your children. They might have a severe impediment.

Fuck guns.

Real men fight with swords.

Guns have no artistic value to them, using a sword is an art.

At 4/11/09 07:01 AM, Sawke wrote: he wasnt already? wow seriously? hm..i need to pay attention more. Well congrats to you Rig...don't put too many of us in ban comas.

Well, like they said, he was an audio mod first, not a BBS mod.

Congrats to Rig, either way. I don't really give two shits to be honest, I won't lie.

I eat candy and boiled eggs. That's it.

There's nothing else to Easter.

There you go, my sob story.

The heartless Xavon has had his heart broken, believe it or not.

Year and a half relationship gone and I'm over it in two weeks. I'm not one to mope in the past when I've still got a future and plenty of girls in this world, I know when to move on.

My life hasn't even started yet, so I can't really get too upset. It's her loss, I'd like her to find another guy who cared for her as much as I did. Who the fuck else makes music or writes for some chick. Me, I do that. Bitches.

;[

Do what these people said, use it to your advantage/etc.

Or you could pull some of the best prank calls while you're still young, imagine the confusion.

I used to hate shots till I got mono and had to go to the ER 3 times.

You can only get so many before you stop caring.

If he's gay let him be gay.

It's his choice, there's nothing more to it.

Assuming such a place existed, my hell would be isolation.

Being alone for all eternity would just drive me insane, I wouldn't be able to handle that.

It can get even worse too, isolation in the dark, under water, in a tiny room, etc. Seriously, think about that.

Oh god, alright, I'm here. You got me.

Look, I'm gonna be honest, I tried to read the whole thread just so I could clean up my own post, but I only got to page two before you really baited me in. I can't read anymore, I'm sorry, so this is the post you're gonna get. I also apologize because I'm going to go off on you, but don't take it personally because I'm really trying to help, honestly. Here we go.

I was on the bus one day, talking to this girl that was new, as always

You were on the bus, talking to a girl, as always. Yeah, that's great.

the thought of her liking me or whatever did go through my head

Of course, you're 13 fucking years old, you're a kid. Look at the way you even worded that, you make it sound like it's a big deal. Any chick who even says hello to you will be mistaken by you as relative interest. This is somewhat normal.

as well as the normal stuff(Sex and all that)

Your hormones are firing all at once, as I said before, you're really fucking young and talking to a 17 year old maturing girl. This is normal, but come the fuck on. Sex and all that. Really, care to elaborate or anything? Look at this;

what kind of abuse did she get?that could explain a lot on why she is going out with a fourteen year old.

Must I say it? SEXUAL ABUSE. Is that good enough?

Sexual abuse. You're thinking about sex with this girl, when you're only 13, and she's been through hell and back. She was sexually abused. Think about that for a second. Sexually abused, and all you can think about is "love" and "Sex and all that?" Look at what I just said. Fucking look at it and realize what you're thinking and what the reality is.

This girl is in a group home because of that abuse, and they're trying to protect her for good reason, fair or not.

So I say clearly, FUCK THAT GROUP HOME.

This is unnecessary. She's in that home for a reason, as I stated above. She needs help, but not from you.

I currently have to wait 7 months for her to turn 18 for her to come over or be with me outside of school.

You really, REALLY have to start looking at the big picture here. You have to wait 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS. That's almost a year of your life gone, waiting for some girl to get out of a GROUP HOME after being SEXUALLY ABUSED. Have you talked to her about this? Have you even figured out plans for the both of you? Do you know how committed or interested she is in a long term thing? What's going to happen after 7 months? Do you think it's going to be prairies, pixies, and unicorns from then on out?

If she goes to college, the relationship will fail almost guaranteed. As soon as she turns 18, her life is just beginning, and you still have a long way to go. Hold on for a second because now I have to backtrack to some other things.

I forgot to mention this, You know why Im waiting 7 months instead of saying "ah fuck it"? Because I feel like im... eh... in love...

You're in love. Do you know what that word even means? What it means to love somebody? You've clearly admitted that you've never felt this "love" before, in the "two" relationships you've had so far. It takes a lot more experience and a lot more growing up to really understand what you're talking about here. The first thing that comes to my mind when you say "love" is lust. Love is commonly confused with lust, ESPECIALLY at your age. Now I know you just want to reply with "I know what I feel, don't tell me it's lust, blah blah I'm a kid who has a lot to learn", but really, face it. Look at the future, what do you see happening to you and this girl in the long run? I went over this in the sex portion, lust, that's what this could easily be, and once you get what you want after 7 months you're going to drop like a rock when you realize it's not like you thought it'd be.

I do connect with her, on the bus and over the internet. (Yes she gets to use a computer).

You don't connect with her. This is not connecting. You cannot truly connect with someone until you really get to spend quality alone time with them and learn what they're all about. I have done multiple long distance relationships, I have talked to girls over the internet, and from my experience I'll tell you that's not true love. That shit does not fucking work, and isn't worth shit in the long run, especially at your age. This isn't long distance, I know, but it's the same concept. You only see her in person on the bus, crowded with other people. That's not connecting. You only talk to her on the internet, you don't get to see her face or hear her words or understand what she means, that is NOT connecting.

Backtracking again. I lied, I'm reading the entire thread to get the most out of this for you.

She gets counseling.

Good. She needs it for a reason.

Im allot more develouped then most kids my age. But that's not your main point.

What the fuck does that even mean? Developed? Sexually? Mentally? Hardly. This is typical behavior from someone your age, you pointing out your "maturity" only proves that further.

It's not about "Fucking" her im afraid.

No, maybe not entirely, but you already admitted it crossed your mind.

Alright, apparently I didn't miss much by reading the last two pages, so here's my synopsis.

You're 13. Thirteen. You are fucking young. This girl is 17. Seventeen. A maturing girl, who was sexually abused, and is in a group home and getting counseling for a reason. Being completely truthful here, I wouldn't doubt if the only reason she confides in you and picked you over anyone else is because of your innocence. You're young, you're innocent, she isn't. She's tainted, she needs something pure to grab onto because of what's happened to her. Do you see what I mean?

In 7 months when it all comes down to it, you have to look at the big picture. I'm telling you right now, you have no future with this girl. She'll be 18, most likely starting college, and moving on with her life. She won't have a choice but to leave you behind, whether you both like it or not. You might think it's "love", but that's what we all thought the first time around. You can believe it for now, but when the next one, and the next one comes around, maybe you'll finally understand what to love and be loved means.

Honestly, I really do have more to say about this but I keep thinking up new things I want to write while writing the current ones and forgetting both entirely. Think about everything I just said, respond to what I just said, please, I want a response, and let all this sink in. You cannot tell me I'm wrong. I'll respond to anything you say back to me.