Seriously. Probably the most bizarre headline I ever read.

Aunt Fucking Jemima.

You having spoken with the English in the much?

That a certain old meme has been killed, cyrogenically frozen, thawed, and brutally torture-murdered in a way that would make any self-respecting torture porn director vomit.

At 1/14/09 11:25 PM, Sir-Nuts wrote: I'm pretty sure that the dudes at the Daft Punk Club enjoy listening to them. ;)

Also, I think they aren't bad, for an electronic band. I'd rather Eifel 65, though.

Oh my, you just linked to one of my least favorite songs.

I like Daft Punk though.

At least it's getting less coverage than Paris Hilton's dog did.

Can't get much better than this. I actually watched it on TV yesterday. Shit was shit-tastic.

Tom Cruise is a notoriously secretive celebrity, who attends a notoriously secretive church, and does notoriously secretive things with other men. Therefore, we need an easily accessible internet repository of facts about Tom Cruise. This is the place.

FACT 1: If you pause All the Right Moves during a certain spot in the locker room scene, you can see his penis.

FACT 2: If you pause All the Right Moves during a certain spot in the locker room scene, you can see him sucking L. Ron Hubbard's penis.

FACT 3: Tom Cruise can kill a psychiatrist just by looking at him.

There is, unfortunately, some truth in there. Or at least half-truth.

At 1/5/09 12:55 AM, All-American-Badass wrote: well technically ears are not sensory organs so i'd decide to lose one of them

Nice try. You have to lose both ears, and you lose the inner as well as outer ear.

OMG those Nazis hate me SO MUCH. NOBODY LOVES ME. I'm going to go cut myself again now.

lol making fun of tragedy

If you had to lose a body part (or parts), which would it be? Your choices are ears, eyes, nose, tongue, left arm, right arm, genitalia, left leg, or right leg. I will state the obvious by saying that losing sensory organs mean you lose that sense, and losing your tongue makes you unable to speak. So which will it be, Newgrounds?

More times than I can count. Can we please leave old memes to die on their own?

Wow, that story didn't even mention Bel-Air.

Why, I'd start by deleting fucking everything and banning fucking everyone. Why?

My username is the best ever. Period.

ngmastah: Oh dear, the unmistakable effects of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, shown in an incomprehensible post.

At 1/1/09 02:33 PM, Elder500 wrote: Eh?
C'mere, sonny, I'll beat you with my walking stick.

You make blog posts about seeing musicals whose main characters are "dancers" named Joey, then are disappointed when he falls in love with a woman. Need I say more?

What version of DirectX do you have?

Freaki-Boy92: You like it freaki, I see. Very freaki. Also people sometimes mispell my last name like your town.

xscoot: You like PONG, fuh gawds saiks.

ngmastah: I am not a stupid dick sucking cuntbag. However, your mother was. Even so, I can't tell if it was me or the dog that has to make child support payments now.

Killing-Joke: Is your username supposed to be based on the Joker, of Batman fame? Because BATMAN IS GAY WITH ROBIN. AND THE JOKER IS GAY WITH HARVEY DENT LOL.

You also come from an extremely stupid sounding place in England, which has got to be the most pathetic country in the world. We had to bail you out of both World Wars, and if the Nigerians wanted their own country, you felt the need to run away, while simultaneously apologizing profusely.

So long story short, your own country barely even exists (literally), so you only about 10% exist, and where you are only about 10% exists, so you only 1% exist, which is good, because everyone around you would kill themselves if you 100% existed.

Monotony: You are an alt. Which means that you are some other accounts gay identical twin that gives the other account nice juicy cock-sucking.

Anko: You have a picture of Tom Cruise in your profile. Tom Cruise is a complete faggot. So are you.

Sidorio: 7.35 posts per day. LOL@no life. Also see above about England. Also getting to 69 does not get Tom to suck your cock, because THERE IS NO LEVEL 69.

Crusher 117: You enjoy spending $1400 on equipment to shoot balls of paint at other young men. This is a clear coping mechanism to cope with your lack of balls. Also, you felt the need to comb through thousands of reviews to mark all of the ones that say LOLOLOL SUCKED FAGGEOT NOOB1!1!! etc. etc. etc. Here's a hint for the future: NOBODY FREAKING CARES WHAT WHISTLE LEVEL YOU HAVE. NO ONE.

HotHoboSex: HotHoboAids amirite?

DoubleOne: You don't give your age, you live in Florida. You are and 80-year-old pedophile.

Otto: I'm so sorry. It must have hurt when those two big boys raped you (UNLESS IT FELT GOOD).

Psychotic Demon: You say your job is failing. I say that fails at failing.

S-S-8: Fab joke? Heavens No! Come on and dance the night away with me! Dance the night away!

At 1/1/09 01:59 PM, Twilight95 wrote: Commence age and Twilight jokes.

Oh, too easy. However, Mexico also offers plenty of comic material. Your mother drank too much Tequila, jumped into the river downstream from one CRAZY fiesta, and 9 months later you were born.

LOL @ dirty river

Ever feel like you have a pathetic and meaningless existence? Well, you will after I'm done with you.

Who's first?

Ask them both,

"If you can give me the exact value of the square root of negative one, point towards the door to hell."

The liar bird will point to the heaven door.

I WIN.

On 1/1/00 12:00 AM, MotherGoose wrote

Goosey Goosey Gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my Lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg
And threw him down the stairs.

Not very nice to begin with, plus, IT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME.

At 1/1/09 02:26 AM, Jonas wrote: ZUNE TOUCH coming.

Moar liek Zune Vista, amirite?

YOU DID IT.

ADMIT IT.

And poor Timmy will never have a real dad!

My epic masterpiece.

Unfortunately, it was blammed.

The Mayans don't (or should I say didn't) believe that the world would end in 2012. Their calendar merely resets to the year zero, as it has 12 times before. Even if the Mayans did believe the world would end in 2012, why would they be right? They weren't right about anything else.

THREESOME.