1 Forum Post by "Uninvited642"
Response to: A Running Story
Posted February 9th, 2011 in Writing
You've got the setting and it becomes very clear as you describe it to the reader. Bringing in Allison develops Tony and explains why he is the way he is, which is good, but there's nothing to let us know why he became the way he did when Allison breaks the relationship off, maybe go into that.
Good call on bringing the outside character in, a character that seems to be in their right mind telling the reader that the outside world is not what we expect is good, because I don't trust Tony when it comes to the current state of the world.
I'm looking too far into this, good descriptions, very little plot, and the dialog is... Meh. I'll write more as it progresses.
