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O.o Wut?!

North Dakota is really the secret invasion point staged by the Canadians (mostly from Manitoba) to infiltrate American society and steal all of our maple syrup.

I'd hire a makeup artist to make me look like a crazy hillbilly.. Then I'd go to some store in a small town and buy all of the condoms that they have in stock. Then I'd go back the next day and do the same thing. I'd repeat this everyday for 2-3 weeks and fill up a shopping cart with only condoms. I'd also hire some slutty looking midgets wearing sombraros to come in with me and say random fucked up shit as we're strolling through the store. If anybody asked me any questions I'd say in an angry southern drawl: "None of ur damn business".

This would become an urban legend in that town... lol

At 10/22/11 08:53 PM, KillerSkull wrote: It's the agnry faic, it's been an easter egg since the 2007 redesign...it happens when you hover over an "agnry faic" icon in the forum page.....

Lawl I went into a little bit of panic for a second because I've been watching horror movies all day on AMC and
I've been drinking most of the day....

So what now? Do I get some candy?

So I was lurking the NG forums and some giant NG head just jumped out at me and yelled: "Rgblarghaaaaa!!!! What R U Lookn AT!!!!???" WTF just happened? Is this part of the redisign?

At 10/22/11 09:40 AM, yurgenburgen wrote:

At 10/21/11 10:43 PM, Tyrannicality wrote: Women Become Cannibals and Eat All Men Apocalypse

This, because they would stop as soon as they thought they were gaining weight, and would return to twirling their hair around and gossiping about each other.

Hmmm yeah, then there'd be less competition because of all the men that were eaten and a lot more women to go around... The bad part is, the only thing available would be fat chicks, so yeah, catch 22. Plus, you'd always have to watch your ass and make sure that any proximal women are well fed and you would have to think very long and hard (thats what she said) about ever risking a BJ.

I just ate an entire rotisserie chicken and now I'm drinking alcohol... PARTY FUCKIN YEAH!!!

I would say some completely crazy shit out of left field, total curveball, taking their argument and drawing up some grand incomprehensible conclusions to leave them wondering: "Is this guy off his fucking rocker?" "Why did I just spend an hour arguing with him?"

Then I would laugh my ass off about it later.

At 10/21/11 10:31 PM, physicsman09 wrote:

Where in the interview did Mr. Tyson say "The Earth will be destroyed in 10 years by a black hole"?

Its in there but you have to pay attention. Keep in mind, he's a black man and sometimes uses the hippity-hop lingo.

Well, obviously its me. But, I actually signed up in 2003 on an account that I can't remember the password to.. so... oh well.

At 10/21/11 10:37 PM, BlackmarketKraig wrote: You can't trust Neil deGrasse Tyson, the man singlehandedly killed Pluto!

Or at least was responsible for initiating the whole Pluto is not a planet campaign...

Oh sure, how convenient.... blame some black guy for the reason that Pluto is no longer a planet. Maybe Tyson was in cahoots with President Obama? Racist Bastard...

At 10/21/11 11:53 PM, Kirbyfemur wrote:

At 10/21/11 11:38 PM, GodOfVideoGames wrote:

At 10/21/11 10:46 PM, AnalPenguinFarming wrote:

At 10/21/11 10:45 PM, Kirbyfemur wrote:

Nahh, then we'd have to deal with Kevin Costner thinking he's badass all the time.

I said WaterWORLD not water lake. There's enough water to go around for the two of us

So innocent, so naive....

Oh yeah, and don't forget machines/computers/AI turning on its creators apocalypse.

What would be your preferred apocalyptic scenario? Explain your reasons.
A few options:

Zombie Apocalypse
Space Alien Attack Apocalypse
Mutant Apocalypse
Biblical Apocalypse
Plague Apocalypse
Nuclear Fallout Apocalypse
Asteroid + Earth Collision Apocalypse
Women Become Cannibals and Eat All Men Apocalypse
Mayan Calendar Apocalypse
Some Gay Movie with Kevin Costner

At 10/21/11 08:39 PM, Idiot-Finder wrote:

At 10/21/11 08:12 PM, Tyrannicality wrote: You want a link? Here's your damn link.

In other words, this is a rickroll thread.

Man this is getting old.

Stop crying, lawl, I couldn't resist.

Anyway, this is the real deal here.

You want a link? Here's your damn link.

Scientists inform us that or solar system, in its orbit around the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, is in the trajectory path of a black hole that will rip our sun and earth to pieces in about 10 years. :(

The Jack of Clubs is cooler, smarter, and better looking than you.

Why do people hate redheads so much?

For instance, the largest sperm bank in the US isn't accepting sperm from red-headed men because of low demand.

At 10/19/11 05:08 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 10/19/11 04:58 PM, Gagsy wrote: What I don't get is HOW they know this? How can scientists discover what the universe was billions of years ago when it wasn't a universe?

Evidence for the theory is both myriad and complicated. The initial hypothesis was formed by extrapolating backward from the current expansion of the universe, but the confirmation comes from things that would be a consequence of this. Read up on cosmic background radiation and the numerous experiments done in particle accelerators for more info.

At 10/19/11 04:59 PM, Suprememessage wrote: Yes, but that tight mass had to come from somewhere.

Irrelevant. What happened prior to the big bang is outside the scope of the theory. You said you would disprove the theory, which you haven't done.

At 10/19/11 05:02 PM, CorpseGrinderClock wrote: An object at rest stays at rest until acted upon by an outside force.

So what was the first movement?

Irrelevant. The big bang theory does not state that the high-temp/high-density state was at equilibrium, only that it was expanding rapidly.

Interestly, a nobel prize was just handed out a couple of weeks ago to physicists who demonstrated that the expansion of the universe is actually accelerating. (Lawrence Berkeley Lab's Saul Perlmutter, Brian Schmidt of the Australian National University, and Adam Riess of the Space Telescope Science Institute). Their research consisted of measuring the speed and distance of various supernovas.

Accelerated expansion brings hard questions to the accuracy of the universe's calculated age. Further, the inception of the universe from the explosion of a nearly infinitely dense singularity is also questionable because the rate of expansion should be decreasing as the initial force is dispersed and not the opposite. This brings to the forefront the special modifications Einstein made to his general theory of relativity to account for the anti-gravitational type energy that causes matter to be repelled - the cosmological constant.
And further, it seems to be more supportive of Einstein's and Hoyle's static 'Steady State' universe model than Lemaître's 'Big Bang'.

The biggest universal component touted by a Big Bang theorist in support of their idea is the expansion of the universe, but that expansion may in fact be the result of mechanisms entirely independent of the theory.

And why is expansion itself necessarily extrapolated to a historical singularity?
Imagine that you breath in some air and then you breath it out. The breath in, the intake of various atmospheric gases, causes the expansion of your lungs, the breath out, the contraction, now imagine that each process took 10 billion years to complete, from inside your lungs during the long expansion process, one could hypothesize that the expansion has always been occuring and is thus the result of the potentiation of an infinitely dense singularity and further calculating the rate of expansion they could determine the time that your lungs emerged from a single superdense atom. - Of course, in reality, the expansion of your lungs is simply a cyclical occurrence - it may be the same in the universe.

Fat Tire is my fav... whats urs?

Sucks to be in a line at Starbucks and be unlucky enough to have this guy behind you...

At 10/16/11 12:57 AM, HoodHustla wrote: Surprisingly enough, I recently found out that one of my ex-class mates from college is now a porn star. If anything I think it'd be kinda awkward now running into her....or maybe not...

I've had this happen to me twice! One chick I knew in highschool who had an uber crush on me, like she'd ask me to hug her and then say "I just wanted to feel your penis on my stomach", and many times she would randomly blurt out stuff like "lets do it" or "lets fuck". She was cute but nothing amazing or anything, I never got involved because she was extremely emotionally unstable, I never ever rejected her or put her down though, I'd just flirt or joke with her and that eventually opened up the door to me dating one of her hotter friends. I learned that shortly after highschool, she got into hardcore porn...

Another chick lives in the same area as me, a platinum blonde who retired from the porn industry several years ago, but back in her prime she was one of the top models in her sector of the industry. She is married with 4 kids now and stays indoors pretty much all the time and is seriously addicted to playing World of Warcraft. She is about 30 and is still pretty smokin hot, but if you meet her in person she is extremely socially awkward. She craves attention and tries to do this 'quirky funny' thing but it ends up just being a train wreck of nerdy awkwardness.

So yes, I've met 2, and their personalities are both very weird.

What would you do if you were at the grocery store, or the gas station, or the laundry mat, or some restaurant, and your favorite porn star of all time, by some random fluke of nature, was there picking out a cantelope, or eating a salad, or switching her laundry?

Would you go introduce yourself and talk to her? Would you ask for an autograph? Would you tell her how amazing she was in that 'one' scene. Or would your head explode out of sheer amazement?

So you're all like "Look at my new awesome-sauce couch that I got for such a good deal on Craigslist". Then , a week later, you're like, "Shit I have fucking scabies, how did that happen?!?!" Well that sucks.

At 10/14/11 10:22 PM, The-Great-One wrote: Oh yeah and one more thing... I'M NOT FUCKING OBI WAN!

I AM Obi Wan Kenobi, but I'm sorry I can't help you. I'm too busy milking my goat (Jedi slang).

At 10/15/11 01:10 AM, JebbaL wrote: I wouldn't do anything to change the past. Maybe the outcome of a war ultimately lead to the creation of Newgrounds. Do you really want to risk that? Geez. Man oh man. Argh. Whoa.

Of course changing the past would affect the present and the future... but what if you kicked some ancient guys ass whos already dead (can't see any moral issue with that) and something even better than Newgrounds was the result... What if... It led to the creation of the even more amazing 'Newergrounds'?

At 10/14/11 08:46 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: I would travel to the future, then fly into space and fuck a alien.

How would you avoid getting some crazy alien STD? Or how do you know that her alien vagina isn't full of sulfuric acid that will burn your dick off? Or that she will literally eat you once you're done?

Personally, I'd take out the Spartans before they attacked Athens so our technology would be even more advanced today.

If you could travel time in a heavily armored time-machine tank with an arsenal of weapons: machine guns, mini-guns, flamethrowers, bazookas, etc.. Basically being able to kick the ass of any ancient civilization or win any ancient historical battle.

What time period would you go into and who would you conquer?

At 10/14/11 01:44 PM, beakerboy wrote: I hate arrogant people so much.

another example: My screw up of an older brother believes that weed is good for your health.
another example: Some dumb shit girl in my german class tried to tell me that colleges and universities reject people that take AP classes and that AP classes are also the same as Honors classes. I told her to shut the fuck up.

Another example: You being an arrogant prick by pointing out how all the other arrogant pricks aren't as right in their thinking as you are... dumbass.

At 10/13/11 08:51 PM, Garage wrote: I make 10 dollars an hour in a 40 hour work week at a music store selling CDs.

I can accept a job that pays 6 dollars an hour in a 40 hour work week, plus 10% of the price of every CD I sell.

CDs cost $12 at this store.

How many CDs would I have to sell per week in order to make more money at the second job?

If you average selling 4 CDs per hour you'd be making $10.80 an hour.. but who wants to buy CDs in the age of MP3s, smart-phones, and computers? I'd never pay $12 for a CD personally.