Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

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At 9/5/05 09:40 AM, SmilingAssasin wrote: personaly i dont really care, its the moon. Its a desolate piece of rock floating round our planet, its not like there's anything of great value on it.

Nothing of value? One of the main problems with Space exploration is that its hard to get out of the earths atmosphere cause of the gravity. the moon has no gravity so if you could build a space station or soemthing on it and then man it you'd probably be able to do a fiar bit mroe space exploration than is currently happening.

Anyway actually onto the topic itself. There isn't any point of goign up to the moon to change the flag now but when we get to mars (or wherever) I think it would probably be a good idea t put the Un flag(or whatever has taken its place) as a kind of way of saying this is form Earth not just saying this is from America or whatever coutnry sent the ship there.

And am I the only person who thinks that if th First world countries actually banded together to create one giant space program ,instead of having individual ones for each country, we might actually get further in the field of space exploration in a shorter amount time?

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At 9/4/05 10:05 AM, gary_percival wrote: Pass the cucumber sandwiches please TNT

Here you goold boy.

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After studying the picture from many angles I have come to the conclusion that I have absolutley no fucking diea about what the hell it is,what film its form or what is even going on in the painting/thing.

Enlighten me please. My curiousity is killing me.

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At 9/4/05 08:57 AM, Engelsman wrote: Why thank you very much old chap. I think a spot of Earl Grey will go down splendidly.

Righty ho.

<pours tea>

Jammy dodger?

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At 9/4/05 08:52 AM, Engelsman wrote: Basically can i join?

My dear fellow of course you can join. Now pull up a cahir and I'll get Jeeves to bring you some tea.

Pg tips or Earl Grey?

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At 9/4/05 07:25 AM, DirtySyko wrote: For instance, maybe Owen would venture into a pub one night and get himself piss drunk, and start reminiscing with some vagrants. I wouldn't be going for a funny approach where everything is a joke, or the jokes always end in punch lines. The humor would be much more subtle.

I think I see what you're going to try and do now though iu think I'm going to have to try and catach an episode of Samurai jack to understand fully. Either way it sounds like a good idea and I'll be surprised if you can't make a decent story out of it.

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At 9/4/05 04:42 AM, -Bunnies wrote: I should take some, but I'm not.

You sure? its extra salty.

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At 9/4/05 04:20 AM, -Bunnies wrote: You should, but you aren't.

He's about to be shot so stop your whining.

Want some popcorn?

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At 9/4/05 02:07 AM, DirtySyko wrote: SO ANYWAYS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

You got me hooked on this story as soon as you mentioned vampires, werewolves, demons and monster hunters. I love that kind of stuff <3

And when you say you want i to be surreal and comedic, how comedic you want it to be? We talking Terry Pratchett,Robert Rankin and Tom Holt comedic,where the story is just one joke aftr another with a strange and weird plot? Or are you going along the lines of a regular story with some jokes thrown in for good measure?

The actuall setting and the main charachter etc seem pretty solid soI can't see any problems there. Over all I like the idea. You've prettty much got the basics of what could be abloody good story in my opinion.

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At 9/3/05 06:36 PM, Ratchety wrote: one finds this song rather fine: http://www2.b3ta.com/birmingham/

I remember a time when I used to use that link in my sig.

i know a good few chapesses from birmingham, and one must say they are a unique bunch. everything they talk about is as if a dream. custard factories, chocolate lands, it's all very confusing.

Didn't you know that Birmingham is the closest thing to willy wonkas chocolate factory in real life? We even have oompah loompahs around...well we have midgets that aint themselves orange down by me and I do live on the Bournivlle village trust which is technically owned by the cadbury family so...I suppsoe they are sort of oompah loompahs.

At 9/4/05 03:19 AM, Primalblood wrote: On that North Vs South program one hated the facted that we chaps in the Midlands didn't really get a say. We just get grouped in with the north and south.

What are midlandrs when it coems to the north south divide? are we north or south?

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At 9/3/05 03:22 PM, Danbot wrote: Magic 8 Ball says: "Based on previous visions of your destiny, I would suggest Geology and Palaeontology."

How can an inanimate object have a memory?

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At 9/3/05 03:08 PM, Howard_Leggings wrote: Good lord old chap! You mean to say you resent the beutiful somerset accent? By golly, it's what all the folk from around my parts speak.

I don't resent it old boy but I just prefer the sultry tones of the Brummie accent...

Oo arr, iz you bein' well today? Oi wundur if you still ave that gurt pictuure uv scarrlot yo-hanson?

Translation: Hello, are you well today? I wonder if you still have that big picture of scarlot hoanson. And so on.

<clears throat>

OO arr! Oi do buleive Oi ave tha pitchur uround ere soomwar....

<clears throat again>

Good enough for you old boy?

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At 9/3/05 02:56 PM, Coop83 wrote: I'm about 30 minutes away from you, TNT. Want me to get in the car and drive to Birmingham to try and prove a point. Kidderminster. Does it ring a bell?

Good point.<puts down bags>

and I thought kidderminster was closer to Birmingham than 30 minutes drive?

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I have a question oh greta magic 8 ball.

What should I study at university?

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At 9/3/05 02:47 PM, Coop83 wrote: It's safer that way.

why does the rest of the country seem to have it in for Birmingham? I swear to god if that's how I'm going to be treated I'll bpack my bags and ehad for the lands of my forefathers. What's the train fare to get up to glasgow?

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At 9/3/05 12:15 PM, -Nev- wrote: And there was like a French flag, a Spainish flag and then an American flag. That really pissed me off, its English, not American. American is an accent, its like Brummie, but worse.

I resent that comment! One is a brummie and can safely say that the brummie accent is the most beayutiful thing the world has ever had the pleasure to hear.

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I'm amazon.com for some reason.

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At 9/3/05 11:37 AM, Sodium_01 wrote::

anyone else feel a sudden urge to stab my ex-friend...

Not really. Why would I want to stab someone for not knowing about a game? Just lend him your copy orsomething so he can play it.

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At 9/3/05 06:55 AM, Zen_Gaijin wrote: I realize now that I as a Black citzen will ever be treated equally the people that have the most sense have the least amount of power.

Then why don't you,instead of complaining how your not treated equally, get off your ass and try and do something to get some one with real sense into a position of power, or try and get more equality for your people? join a civil rights group or whatever it is that's around.

Try your hardest to get local politicains in your area to wake up and realise the problems that are facing the majority of black people if you fell this strongly about it.

America will always see me as a black male as a problem, I will never be anything more than a gangster or a hoodlum.

You'll only be viewed as that as long as you let people view you like that. As I said beofre, if you feel strongly about this get off your ass and do soemthing about it. You won't change a damn thing by complaining about this on a BBS. You want change then go out there change it yourself.

It worked for Martin Luther King I'm pretty damn sure it could work for you as well.

I thought things were getting better but now its obvious that things are just the same and will never change.

Do the acheivements of Martin Luther king mean nothing then? Are black people still treated as slaves? Are you forced to get on different buses and drink from different water fountains form everyone else still?

A hell of a lot has changed. it might notbe as much as you like but still saying that nothing has changed is the equivalent of saying that MArtin luther kign didn't do a damn thing for you.

I have given up hope on being respected because I'm different for I now realize that this will never happen.

Its a good thing the likes of your grandfathr and grandmother didn't give up hope. Imagine what everythign would be like if Martin luther King and his followers had given up hope because it was hard for them to get the respect that they deserved.

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At 9/2/05 03:53 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: The moment of zen... It just works (you have seen the daily show correct?

<thinks> No I don't think I have.

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At 9/2/05 02:57 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: It could be. But it would need a really good animator

whihc would certainly be the problem. Getting a really good animator interested is gonna be hard when I finish it.

(I take it you are a liberal??)

If you look carefully in my sig you will find the symbol that the British Party the Liberal Democrats use. Does that answer yuor question?

Whatever, its just flash.

I wasn't actually trying to get my political view across but the thought of MIchael Moore and John Prescot chasing after the likes of George Bush and Kenneth Clarke after they had been dipped in batter mad eme laugh.

when you do the dihydrogen joke make sure you use monoxide... it screws with people who think its like carbon monoxide.

That's a bloody idea! You're a genius ;-)

Over all well done... but you need a moment of zen at the end... or something to finalize it

I haven't decided how to finish it yet...and I'm can't think of anything at the moment.

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At 9/2/05 01:29 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Front page material, provided it's well animated.

You really think so?

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A random idea I had for a comedy falsh. This is part of a script and it is incomplete.
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Brainiac: Politics abuse

Titles roll with various carton re-enactments of important political events.

Starts off with Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address. A man in the crowd fires a shot at him. Bullet goes straight through Lincoln and camera follows bullet.

Bullet goes into the back of JFK. Who then falls out of his car.

Camera follows falling body and corpse lands on a plunger that is connected to a box of explosives. A trail of gun powder is lit and the camera follows it and the Houses of Parliament comes into view and are them blown up in an explosion revealing the Brainiac sign.

Scene open with a long shot of the White house and then zooms in on a window where the Narrator is standing.

Narrator: Welcome to Brainiac,. The show that deep fries conservatives serves them up with a side order of chips and lets John Prescott and Michael Moore loose.

Coming up on tonights show. We look at the difficulty’s involved at getting an idiot into power.

Camera shot changes to a caricature of George Bush waving.

Narrator: And we experiment to see how much food John Prescott can put away before he spontaneously combusts.

Camera changes to a shot of Prescott eating then suddenly exploding.

Camera returns to Narrator who is seen walking along a

Narrator: Over the years there have been many great leaders in the world. Some were good men…and others…not quite so. And what were interested in is out of all of these evil men that have risen to power, which one is ost evil.

We’ve taken some of histories best known evil political figures to see which one is truly the greatest leader the world has ever known.

Screen changes to yellow background with the Brainiac sign and the words “Evil Leader Rumble”

Shot changes to Hitlers face and then changes to, Nero and finally Darth VAder

Narrator (speaking as Hitler and Co’s face is revealed): We’ve take five of Histories most notorious leaders and have set them a challenge. And yes technically the Darth Vader isn’t a world leader but we needed an extra evil person and no one else would come.

Shot changes to 3 men dressed in yellow jumpers with the Brainiac logo on the front.

Narrator: Our evil leaders must impress these three Brainiacs by being as evil as they possibly can.

Shot changes and Hitler is seen walking forward and stops in front of the judges.

Narrator: Adolf Hitler re-knowned for ordering the mass genocide of Jews back in the 1940’s. But what will he do to try and impress the judges?

Hitler turns around and when he turns back he makes a raspberry and starts to pull funny faces at the judges.

The shot change sot the judges who don’t look impressed.

Narrator: Oh dear. These Brainiacs don’t look very impressed at all. It seems Hitlers Reputation has been blown out of all proportion. He obviously isn’t as evil as he has been made out to be.

Hitler walks off and Nero comes forward wearing a Toga.

Narrator: Emperor Nero. The man who played the fiddle whist the city of Rome burnt around him. He’s most definitely a nut job but is he the most evil leader?

Nero takes out a little kitten from inside his toga ( a sound of “awwwwwwwwww” can be heard) and then swiftly turns around and the noise of an electric shaver can be heard as Fur is seen to fly off from around Nero.

Nero turns around and presents the Kitten (now a bloody and mangled mess) to the juedges. Which causes one of them to throw up.

Nero steps back and Darth Vader steps forward.

Narrator: Darth Vader. We all know him as lukes father and Anakin Skywalker but did the darkside truly corrupt him? Or is he just a big soft puppy on the inside?

Vader reaches out to the judges and force chokes the first and then looks at the other two who promptly run away leaving dust in the air that shows where they used to be.

Narrator: There we have it. It seems that Darth Vader is the most evil person ever in the history of politics. We’ll be back after this commercial break.

Advert that warns against the dangers of becoming addicted to Dihydrogen Oxide comes on.

Advert ends and Brainiac logo appears on Yellow background and then shot goes to Narrator standing in the Oval Office.

Narrator: Welcome back to Brainiac politics Abuse. The sow that does exactly what it says in the title.
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Opinions?

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At 9/2/05 10:12 AM, Mick_the_champion wrote: So...Scrib is up next yeah?

Yes he is.

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A tale from little Wilkington.

In the corner of the milky-way there sits a small planet that scientists agree can not exist because as it breaks every scientific law that has ever been thought of. However, despite the fact scientists from across the universe say it doesn’t exist just beyond Mars there sits a little blue Green planet known as The Earth.
As the Earth is a scientific impossibility it is filled with all kinds of weird and wonderful creatures. The strangest of these creatures is a species known as Homo-Sapiens.
This is the story of a Homo-Sapien by the name of John Smith. John Smith is a normal homo-Sapien as he is controlled by three primal urges. Sex, food, and football(or, as a subspecies of the homo-sapiens known as “Americans” call it, Soccer).
John lives in a small house at the end of Barngate road in the small village of Little Winklington (not to be confused with the neighbouring village of Little Winkleton who have a fierce rivalry on the football pitch with Little Winklingtons team. Woe Betide any outsider who gets the two villages mixed up. The last man who did this was found strapped to a wagon, covered in cow excrement with nothing but a sock to protect his manhood…alas the sock blew off and the end of his Aston Villa scarf was brutally stained by the manure.)
One morning John got out of bed and looked out of his window. The sun was shining brightly and the sheep in fields in the distance were happily skipping and jumping over the broken fence and destroying Farmer Jingles Cabbage patch. It was a beautiful day.
John got dressed and walked down stairs and saw his mother cooking bacon on the stove.
“Good morning mother” he said as he sat down at the breakfast table. “Do I smell the scent of cooking bacon?” he inquired
Johns’ Mother turned around and revealed a plate that was stacked to the edges with bacon ,sausages, black pudding and a steaming pile of baked beans.
“You do indeed my precious little one” replied Johns Mother.
It would now be a good time to note that whilst his Mother thought as John as being “ little” he in fact weighed a total of 27 stone (or ,as the “American” subspecies put it, 388 pounds) so he was anything BUT little. But Johns Mother seemed blind to this notion and continually fed him a fattening meals every day.
“Do you know what day it is today Little Johnny-poos?” inquired Johns Mother.
The hamster in Johns head began to work over time as it ran round and round in it little wheel to try and power Johns brain. It availed to nothing and John just shook his head.
“Today is your interview with that nice Mr Cooper down at the old army Gentlemen’s club.” She said as she scooped more bacon onto John’s plate.
“Oh right” replied John not looking forward to the interview. Mr Cooper was an eccentric old war veteran from down from somewhere in the west midlands. He had moved up to little Winklington with his brother and a few of their friends about two years ago. They then bought the local pub and then changed it into a “Society for fine English Gentlemen”.
“Now hurry up and finish your breakfast and head off to the club. Mr Cooper said he and his friends would meet you there at Ten O’clock.
John shovelled the rest of his food into his mouth and wiped his mouth on the napkin that is mother had provided for him. He then proceeded to get up and leave the kitchen and headed towards the door to go to his interview.
At around three minutes to ten John knocked on the door to the Gentlemen’s club and waited for an answer.
The door opened slightly and a single eye was visible from the crack within.
“Identify yourself my Goodman or I shall be forced to release the hounds upon you.” yelled the figure behind the door.
“Err…it’s me Mr Cooper. John Smith. I’m here for the interview.” Replied John somewhat cautiously as he looked around to see where the hounds might come form should they be released.
The sound of Chains being removed told John that the hounds weren’t to be released.
The door opened and there stood Mr Cooper in his finest suit wearing a monocle over his left eye. He wore his Victoria Cross over his left lapel and a number of other medals as well.
“Right then me-young son of a gun.” He said in a crisp upper class accent “If you will walk swiftly down the corridor turn left and sit yourself down in the chair that is waiting for you. QUIEEEEECK MARCH!”
John found himself marching at a pace he had never reached before in his entire life. He marched down the corridor with the old army veteran following suit a pace behind him watching carefully to make sure he didn’t attempt to pilfer any of the silver.
John suddenly noticed the door that Mr Cooper had instructed him to turn into and he quickly turned, opened the door and entered the room. The door slammed behind him and he sat down on the single chair that was in the room.
He sat there for a good hour until the door opened and a young man wearing a black suit told him to get up and follow him to the lounge area.
John followed the man to a large Brown double door. On the door was a plaque which read “Trespassers shall be nailed to the roof for the crows to chew upon.” John suddenly felt very nervous.
The man opened the door and John entered and was faced by 2 men staring at him as he entered.
There was Mr Cooper who was sat on the far left. His Brother was next to him wearing a bright green suit that sported the badge of the Official Monster Raving Looney party.
“So” said Mr Cooper. “You think you can handle working here Mr Smith?”
John nodded dumbly.
“hmmm” said Mr Coopers Brother as he fiddled with his OMRLP badge. “I think we should test you to see if you are…suitable. I think we should go and fetch…the device.”
Johns’ heart started to pound. He had heard the rumours of “The device” supposedly it was a way the two gentlemen tested people if they were worthy enough to work or become members of the club.
Fear began to crepe into Johns’ mind. Fear was something John couldn’t cope with, even in small doses. As he couldn’t cope with the fear he fainted and fell onto the floor.
When he awoke he was in his bed. He closed his eyes again and tried tog et to sleep. It had been a long, hard and stressful day and he was tired.

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My entry for the competition.

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At 9/2/05 09:48 AM, Myst_Williams wrote: So everyone knows... I am gone now. Moving. Will be back Monday. I didn't die, and if it comes my turn to write, just wait it out for me. ^_^

Hope everything goes alright for you Myst :-)

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At 9/2/05 08:22 AM, Ratchety wrote: you know i never much cared for tea old chap. *gasps are heard*

Heresy I say! Complete and utter Heresy!

<make ssign of cross using fingers>

well, not on a friday anyway. >.> *sighs of relief*

oh..well thats not so bad then.

Quite the unfortunate incident.. one sounds like a character from that blasted television programme, "Beverly Hills 90210".

I feel your pain. One went to flordia a few years back and ended up talking like a damn yank as well.

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this is my bit for story.
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As the realisation dawned on me I fell to my knees and stared at the sign and read the text over and over again in my mind.
“ We are humans” it read. It was as though a door in my mind had swung open and opened up to an entire new way of thinking. An entire new way of life.
This was what Jarris had been trying to tell me in that holographic suite. This was what Elijah and the resistance fought for. It was so simple that I had not even begun to comprehend it. In my mind I had pictured an underground resistance that would stop at nothing to overthrow the Athorians by using blood thirsty tactics and explosions to take out every single Athorian that had ever set foot on our precious planet.
But they did not do anything like that. All they strived to do was to let the truth be known. The Athorians had not enslaved humanity. Humanity had enslaved itself.
A childhood memory drifted to the surface and I recalled a time where my father had been trying to teach me what it meant to be human.
“ Roberto” he had said “ No matter what you must always remember that the Athorians are no different to us. They have weaknesses like any other human and like any other human these weaknesses can be exploited.”
I had replied by giving a nod to show I was listening when in reality I didn’t care. I was a child and didn’t want to listen about the Athorians. As far as I was concerned everything I had been told about them being the reason humans lived in a world of pollution and darkness was true.
I looked up at the sign one more time and the words “ We Are Humans” stood out like a beacon shining down onto the darkness, illuminating everything around me so I could finally see the truth that the darkness had hidden from my eyes.
The understanding of what Jarris had been talking about ran through my mind as I adjusted my perspective of the entire world and what had enslaved the human race.
Ignorance of the truth was what had enslaved the human race…and now there was a group of people that were trying to let the truth be known.
The sound of the train released me from my thoughts as I watched two spectral orbs glowing in the darkness draw closer.
The train pulled up and I stepped on as the doors opened and sat down and waited for the train to leave the station.
“If only Jarris could see me now” I said out loud to myself.
“ I can assure you that I can see you now Roberto. And from the look on your face it seems you managed to work everything out without instruction.” came a reply from behind me.
I turned around and there with his arms folded on his lap was Jarris in the same jacket he had been wearing at the party. My mouth dropped as I stared at him.
“I must say I’m impressed. Considering how you were acting in the holo-suite I would have thought you would have not even bothered trying to work it out on your own. Seems I was wrong.”
He stood up. And walked over to me.
“ Seeing as you have worked everything out, I think it might be a good idea for you to go and talk to Elijah.”
I stammered my reply as Jarris sat down next me.
“We get off at Workstation VII.” he said as the train pulled off.

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At 9/2/05 06:15 AM, casino1251 wrote: ello chaps mind if i join u?

Not at all old boy. Pull up a chir and have a scone and join in the conversation :-)

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At 9/1/05 06:57 PM, Howard_Leggings wrote: one feels one has said too much. hmmm...

Good God Man! You mean to say you kncoked over the clotted cream as you turned the page away in disgust after seeing said picture and then tried to rub it off but ended up making the white trim on the drapes?