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let's say you contract AIDS. ewwww, icky. well, engulf a sacrificial virgin in a bath of satan's warm licking flames and you don't have AIDS anymore. yippee!

At 2/22/10 03:57 PM, Jonas wrote: PULL PIG LAUGHS AT THE FACT YOU THOUGHT YOUR WIFE WAS JUST RUNNING OUT TO THE STORE

i don't blame her. look at that business casual attire. pull pig? more like pimp pig. fingers crossed for a threesome.

yea? i don't eat dinner. just skip straight to desert. BITCH!

R... you going to the mall today?

i ask you, where is the fun in molestation if there's no threat of legal repercussion in the shadows?

subvert it then, you whiny pebble of shit hanging defiantly to the greasy hairs of some defecating ass crack no sane human being gives a flying fuck about.

the black eye out to remind her how he likes her coffee. and the missing teeth? well that'll make her whistle when she talks. not practical, but funny.

hip hip hooray!

eyelovepoozy is a great mod...for me to poop on!

i just shit hard enough to splash water on them. give them a nice rinse.

weird. usually when i'm in the same situation, your mom just blows me.

you want your women folk getting fat and unsightly? didn't think so stud.

in all seriousness, due to the wide range of the autism scale, there are autistic people in all facets of life. mucking up the works. just like the queers.

you're a hot shot lawyer who plays by his own rules. dancing round the courtroom like a circus.

HEY CANADIANS.

america's taking your hockey gold. bwahahahahaha. patrick kane.

At 2/18/10 09:15 PM, Obvious-M wrote:

At 2/18/10 08:41 PM, TheLameSauce wrote: my dad is forty two and my dad is twenty. and my mom is some whore. they don't age like regular people.

Gay parents?

nah, they're just experimenting.

do you count metaphoric deaths? cause living doesn't kill you. but it kills sometimes.

if you fight a man with an erection, it's a homosexual sex act. ball's in your court rob. literally.

how do you know they don't all fuck and the whole "oh i'm kidnapped! save me!" is just roleplaying.

hi. i do drugs. not because i'm lonely. not because i'm bored. not even because i like the high. i just think having a title like "stoner" makes me cool. some of you might be "punks" or "skaters" or "goths" or "jocks", i've chosen "stoner" because i like harold and kumar.

you suck.

kelsey stinner. look her up.

lou bega-mambo no 5.

timing and rhythm are important whilst engaged in fisticuffs.

my dad is forty two and my dad is twenty. and my mom is some whore. they don't age like regular people.

At 2/18/10 08:39 PM, Idiot-Finder wrote: I used to have those plenty of times, even applied cream at some point. But then one day I applied some soap and washed them with my hands. It's easier to do so if you have shrinkage so the skin would be tighter.

Afterward the itchiness decreased significantly and I have been washing them often since then.

ah man. you're friggin hilarious.

are you married?

it would seem the problem is they're not enough like candy.

This is a public service announcement. It is not medical advice. If you believe you are suffering from Severe Scrotal Itch, see a medical professional

Severe Scrotal Itch, or SSI, is a chronic condition beleaguering roughly twelve percent of the world's male population. It transcends race, creed, class, age and gender...bending(see the American Medical Journal's August 2008 article, "Mr/Mrs. Sam Whiskey's Inflamed Fake Folds". Everyone from movie stars, to teachers, to motorcycles, to space cowboys can suffer this insufferable suffering. And yet, so little is known about it. Just say the phase "I have SSI" and many people hear CSI and make David Caruso jokes. Ironically, Mr Caruso has battled Severe Scrotal Itch his whole life. So what is it? What is Severe Scrotal Itch?

Well, much like the name indicates, it is itch located in the scrotum region of the male anatomy. The ball sack. The coin purse. The little fanny pack you hold your shit in. But this itch is beyond the typical irritation one might feel there; it is severe! So severe the encumbered has trouble focusing on daily activities, struggles to make friends and socialize, is overwhelmed at the prospect of living a normal life. Nay, they can't. They are too consume by the boisterous cries of their undercarriage. It plagues them like having a child. Imagine surgeons too busy operating on their fur berries to take out your appendix. Clowns too preoccupied juggling their sex rocks to entertain a child with cancer on his birthday. Sad. Sick. And sad. But what causes SSI? Good Question, asshat.

Experts have narrowed it down to three main, and secular, causes: Too much sex with too beautiful women, too large a penis, and being awesome. What's that? You thought sex with beautiful women was good? You're right, it is. It feels good on your penis, and they're pretty to look at. Like sea otters. But as you're doing the deed with these comely ladies, they cum. They cum delicious, hot syrup from their love holes. This syrup has nowhere to go but down your quivering rod of manhood and coalesce underneath your nuts. It soaks into the skin. Estrogen, animal tested cosmetics, birth control all seeping into your epidermis drying and aggravating. Burning like the holy hell you call a souvenir and doctors call gonorrhea. And thus, you have just contracted SSI.

But an enormous penis, surely that is a blessing? It is. But like most of life, God doesn't give with both hands. Girls will though as they strenuously work your freakish dong with all the might they can muster. Ever wax a flagpole? No, of course not. That's stupid. But essentially that's what they're doing, just to warm up your bobsled of coitus. All the elbow grease, all that hand lotion, all that carnally derived determination gets swept up in her(or his...i guess) sweat glands racing down her tawny, convulsing, muscular, taught body and AGAIN collects in your shaded nether region. Much like the love syrup of attractive women, it soaks into your scrotum like a hooker soaking up cocaine. Releasing in hives and rashes. You have SSI, stud.

But being awesome. That's purely subjective. How can that be a cause? Science.

Why, LameSauce? Why are you telling us this? Are you some sort of benevolent Sherpa guiding us through the cliffs and valleys of this Mt. Everest called life? Fuck no. I don't like any of you. Die of AIDS for all I care. I'm merely getting the word out for my own sake. You see, I suffer from Severe Scrotal Itch. And because I am cursed with all three precursors, my itch is a most severe one with no end in sight. All I ask from you, community at large, is when you see me raking the family field you don't laugh. You don't scoff, or belittle. Nay, you understand and pity. For mine is a cross no man should bear.

mushy bread is for octogenarians.

i believe it should be "put me last." when referring to one's self, you should use me and not i.

it's when the waitress knows what you want without you having to say.