The thing is, obviously this could make a great flash animation if done well but it is not inherently a good story. It has loads small probalems which just made laugh when reading it, they are so ridiculous.
As someone mentioned before, setting it in the future and during world war 3 seems completely uneccessary. It doesn't add anything to the plot at all.
Their names cracked me up, they are like the most cliche 'badass soldier' names I have ever heard, which one of them is black? And let me guess, blade is a knives expert?
As I said in my previous post, what's up with him putting this terror alert on them? Just seems stupid that a high up government agent would do something so likely to get these guys killed.
The whole thing with 'When you put that in your ear you agreed to do the job' doesn't make any sense at all.
The thing I found most ridiculous of all was that 4 soldiers are able to kill this 'ultimate guardian'. I was expecting them to have to go on some other quest to find a powerful weapon or something but apparently guns are good enough.
If someone described a series to me as this it would not interest me in the slightest. There is nothing to like about the characters because you didnt really tell us anything about them, there is nothing to like about the action because you just said 'they fight' so we dont have any indication of what these military men vs guardians are like in combat and overall it seems like a several old ideas strung together.
As I said before, yes, it could make a great flash series, if it is animated well/has good voice acting and sound etc but I, for one, do not find the story AT ALL captivating.
Maybe iron out some of the basic problems with it and try and add a hook, something original we havent seen before, or just try to create some interesting and beleivable characters instead of cliche named 'elite squadies'.
I AM trying to help.
