At 12/14/09 10:23 PM, DM692 wrote:

At 12/14/09 10:17 PM, The-word-destroyer wrote: I demand a live midget ostrich to eat!! If you can not bring me this I will put mice in your restaurant.

By merely saying this, you have put yourself in a dangerous position. I have... Connections. I will not serve you your food, and if I were you, I wouldn't come around here for a long, long time.

Little do you know I am with the russian mafia.... we will be seeing you soon DM692...

may peace be taken from you

Fahrenheit 451 wasn't that good in my opinion. I did not like the ending so I would have to say that mandatory book was my least favorite.

I demand a live midget ostrich to eat!! If you can not bring me this I will put mice in your restaurant.

At 12/14/09 10:06 PM, SouthAsian wrote: She could join the army or some military branch.They take anyone in almost and you get trained and payed.

She hate's the military and shit like that. I want to join the navy but she wont sign the paper's for me so I have to wait until I'm 18. Which is in about 2 month's by the way

No your life is a lie and little do you know there coming for you.

RUN BITCH RUN

Now you know way's to give blowjobs and it wont just taste like nasty cum for you!!!

At 12/14/09 09:53 PM, Nein wrote: Why doesn't she go back to school?

she's nearly 40. overweight, has a stiff leg cause she had surgery and never did physical therapy afterwards, and a high school drop out.

She feel's she's not good enough for college my friend.

plus we dont have the money

This is more or less for the intelligent user's on NG.

My mom is going through a mid life crisis.
She's a drug addict now clean. (for how long is anybody's guess) She's almost 40 and has accomplished nothing and tell's me she want's to just wake up and be somebody.

I want to help her be somebody but no one here will hire her because she has a criminal record. Of what is not my obligation to say.

And my dad is considering to divorce her.

I think I can make her think more of her self if I get her out of the house and do volunteer work and shit so she can feel like shes making a small difference in her life or something. But it has to be in Texas and the thing is I cant find a volunteer program anywhere down here that doesn't do background check's for criminal history and stuff. Can anyone here recommend some program that needs help for maybe like getting druggie's back on there feet... or maybe like something with those program's who help out women that have been beaten or something..

Cause I'm at a dead end stop here and cant find anything that she could go do to help her feel like someone. and I'm not guna lie she has thrown her life down the drain only thing she's really done is raised me and my sister's.

Does newgrounds have any suggestions to what she could do? and no college or stuff like that because I can all ready tell you she wont do it.

Crap does ng not party or what?

Got another story...

A few weeks ago we were drunk... (outrageously drunk like maybe 12 or 13 beers... dont drink that much it sucks...) Well yeah we wanted more beer so we attempy a beer run at a convient store. Were kind of stumbling so are drunk minds are saying to oursleves dude lets smoke some weed then will calm down and be able to do it. We smoked a joint got high. As soon as we walked in the store we couldnt stop laughing for some reason. We had our beanies on and some bandannas to cover our face. We just grabbed some miller lights and ran out. The store clerk came out chasing after us and I roled down the window and yelled "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" as we were driving off.

Then we hit a stop sign. And drove off again. We were to drunk to realize we were to drunk to drive. Usually I know when I'm to drunk.

Anybody got any good stories with funny shit happening while you were drunk or high?

I'll star off. Last weekend we were blown out of our mind chillin out and our black friend walks into the room. Well our friend jacob get's up screams and runs outside. We chase after him and ask him what the fuck happened. Our black friend (steven) walks out and then Jacob point's at him and yell's "IT"S A FUCKING GORILLA!!" and then we just bust out laughing our asses off.

On friday I got drunk with my sister and her friends that we're over. There all teens and horny. (nothing happened with my sis if that's what you were thinking you sick fuck) and I got dared to just make out with one of em named Jennifer so we started making out then they told us to stop after 20 seconds. We both literally said "fuck yall" then we went to my room and left them behind. Where I got to 3rd base. ( she didn't wanna have sex oh well)

And yestarday last night I was Drunk and high out of my fucking mind. And my friend Eric was even worse (he turned 18 and us and a bunch of people played beer pong for like 4 hours straight) Well we called one of my friends at 2 in the morning to come pick us up which he did. he thought we wanted him to take us home and when he tried to we started screaming at him. We ended up at burger kind with there $1 menu and ended up ordering 33 whopper Jr's. for 6 people lol. (we only had 33 bucks we wanted more) well I dont remember how I got home but I was pissed off when I realized my car was still at his house so I had to Walk about 3 fucking miles so I could drive it back to my house. That was fucking Bullshit.

Apparently while I was home they filled me in on what happened after I got dropped off. a fight happened. and I got pissed off apparently and told them to drive me home. They got mad at me said I took a case of beer with me and when I got home I saw the case in my fridge and was thinking "what the fuck". But yeah shit. Pretty fucking crazy weekend.

What are your stories newgrounds? Long one's or short one's just post em.

Let's go Johnathan Haliburton! You come back safe.

he's my cousin oversea's all i know is he's in the middle east I think in afghanistan.

At 12/10/09 10:33 PM, agustana wrote: I fuck on the first date.

If only you didnt live in ohio damnit. I prefer friends with benifits over relationships any day.

used to have that with a chick named maya then she moved to airzona :'(

1. Portal A on my wall.
2. Mail gun to Twilight
3. he shoots portal on his computer screen.
4. I thrust dick vigorously through portal next time he/she masturbates.

At 12/10/09 10:22 PM, MoriChax wrote: I havent been on a date in forever, not to mention been on very many in my life to even know if I would kiss on a first date... or even remember..
But I dont think I would anyways, its just a little sleezy.

Lol you're a woman and you cant seem to get a date? I'm sure there are people who want to go out with you but I'm guna guess your just to picky. Be warned though if you go out date's most men just want your pussy. So unless you like sex alot then keep an eye out

not that I need to tell you this of course.

But also in your opinion (from the women's perspective) you would say no kiss on the first date?

At 12/10/09 09:47 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote:

Not kissing on the first date is a crime. If you're new to the girl you just start to warm up to her. If she really likes you she'll wait for you to kiss her. Trust me. It took me two weeks of dating for my first kiss and I fucked it up badly but she was with me for a year. If it takes you more than a month then yeah she might leave you or put you in the friend zone. That also happened to me.

So basically your saying it works both ways in a sense? Either you kiss on the first date and it works or wait and it "sometime's" works. Yeah cause funny story. Took a random chick out on a date today that i started talking to a week ago out to a park around 2oclock. we kissed basically on the first date but then over the phone about a half an hour ago she basically told me she doesnt like me. ( said im a good kisser though )

It doesn't really affect me because i've only know her for a week in fact I really don't much care for her now because she said what she said when she doesnt even know who I am. This is all why I posted this thread because it's just thought's about this that want my opinions validated by my fellow newgrounder's. I basically kind of posted this Immideatly as soon as we hung up.

At 12/10/09 09:36 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: Serious response - I wait. I can never determine how much I like the chick I'm dating with just one night out. Plus she could reject me and things could get pretty ugly quickly.

Average Newgrounds response - FUCK NO BITCH I FINGER HER ASSHOLE FIRST DATE HELL YEAH

Yeah but what scare's me sort of is that if I dont kiss her on the first date if I try to take her out again they might think I just wana be friends and knowing that women are stupid and dont realize I just want them instead of being so called "friend". I just get scared that if I dont kiss on the first date I screw everything up.

JINGLE BOMBS!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!111!1!!

Personally I always end up kissing on the first date. I think that's what sabotages my relationships because instead of basically getting to know her at first I more or less give off the impression that I "just want them for their body" When in all honesty I like relationship's but I also like sex so what do you expect? I'm young and horny

But yeah I debated it with myself if from here on out I should kiss on the first date from now on or maybe 2nd date instead.

What are your thoughts newgrounds? ( to those of us who actually have dating experience)

Do you kiss on the first date or wait?

Yeah I know what you mean. I get all embarrased when i'm watching tv and it's showing 2 people trying to kiss for the first time and they make it all corny.

Your reaction is like "OH MY GAWD JUST DO IT ALLREADY!! it make's me embarrased to watch stuff like that.

Dude get a life and get some pussy I'm sorry. Every time I log on newgrounds you're fucking on and you have to much post god dammit. Get some pussy or dick I dont care which way you swing.

I'm in a bad mood.

Google project bluebeam. And it explains it. Here's site for more information

http://2012poleshift.wetpaint.com/page/N WO+Project+Blue+Beam:+False+Holographic+
Second+Coming

Watch the second video on there and fast forward to 1minute if you want to skip to good part. Explain's the thingy haha.

if you believe in this sorta stuff that is.

At 12/8/09 10:10 PM, agustana wrote: I'll spend all of winter in that cave with you.

Or you could warm me up with your vagina.

In soviet Russia. Prostitution pays you!

At 12/8/09 09:43 PM, STEM wrote: http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/10pe rcent.asp
I'd probably go about my day as I always do

Ahh go to hell. You ruined my day...

also remember the "if" part. :p

Do you think we our selves could challenge god?

I mean think about it yeah he can do anything. But we ourselves are limited with like less then 10% Hell even at 100% we would still have our limit's. But what we can do now with just such little ability imagine our capabilities and power if we evolved so far beyond our current forms hell I think if one man challenged god he himself might at the very least give him (or her(or both)) a challenge. But just imigiane with the technology we would be able to create. Our abilite's with our mind's.

Hell I think god might be to scared to let us get that far so he would destroy us all before hand and probably re create us.

Your thoughts on this?

At 12/8/09 09:16 PM, MetalSlimeHunt wrote:

At 12/8/09 09:12 PM, Cpl-Sylux wrote: Now, honestly, you need to seriously stop complaining about shit everyone else has gone through, or you should change your NG aura to FAB. Enjoy your pink.

I wouldn't insult the Fab, if I were you. They are everywhere.

WE KNOW EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

Man you guy's might not like snow but you guy's are lucky. I live in south Texas for Christ sake's. Last time I saw snow was in 2004 and that was the first time it snowed here in 60 years. Not kidding look it up.

Dont worry bro you'll grow out of it in about a year.

I'm done with puberty thank god aha. I always hated going on xbox live because I sounded like a chick 2 or 3 years ago but now I'm 17 and all good ha ha.

I get the pleasure of saying "drop your balls already kid" on xbox live now haha.

you damn twilight. jk man.

At 12/7/09 09:13 PM, Chdonga wrote: EyeLovePoozy is Wade's chauffeur.

EyeLovePoozy in my opinion is a dick.