Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I have this kinky fetish for consensual intercourse between a man and a woman in the missionary position.

Don't tell anyone.

Neither, he's dead, since a turtle's spine is attached/embedded in its shell.

I'm gonna have to say: In the face of a young child, with a police officer nearby.

Although there is no scientific name for it (yet), I have a fear of Jellyfish.

The ability to fly in the opposite direction you want to go in

or

The ability to see through bullets

I love Jimmy Buffet, in fact, when I was on vacation in the Keys last summer, my group almost made a stop at his house.

At 5/4/09 09:21 PM, 9001 wrote: Apparently when you duck in cover it make invulnerable to being smashed by a roof or wall. I know i feel safe now all my friends huddled up in one place with our spines poking out seems to be the only thing keeping a tornado from running into my school.

Somewhere out there, the English language is crying...

At my school, a senior doesn't have to take any finals as long as they're passing all of their classes.

It's a rock.

Man... A bunch of my friends are spending all day today going from comic book store to comic book store, I can't go with them because I have prom tonight.

At 4/30/09 08:24 PM, Conspiracy3 wrote: why is it a floppy dick?

You made my day right there...

So, I could say that I think that Tom deserves to be tied to a mast and let a whole pirate ship's crew have their way with him and suffer no consequences?

I once told someone about how I spent all of my spring break hanging out with friends/my girlfriend. They told me I had no life. I was confused.

Seeing all of the creepy people who hate everything helped me realize just how much better my life is by comparison.

Aww... Is someone bitter because he isn't getting any?

I just pray that the Blue Jackets don't royally screw up like they always do...

I understand your viewpoint, and I believe that you are right.

Alright, here's exactly how I did it:

"Alright, I suppose this is as good a time as any to ask, would you like to go to prom with me?"
Long story short, I now have a prom date.

More than anything, I think I'd just like to have a conversation with her...

Is that weird at all?

No, it just makes you an inept driver.

Maybe this wouldn't be a problem if your dad went to college...

It must be horrible, being the mother of such an ungrateful son...

We don't take kindly to your folk 'round here...

I seem to have a strange affinity for any Japanese Hip Hop, which is made extra strange by the fact that American hip hip gives me feelings of nausea.

I can't tell which one of you is the girl...

Try searching (on newgrounds) for Exmortis, Exmortis 2, and The Ugly. Those are a few of the scarier games I've played.

Yeah, a resume... That'll get you a job flipping burgers...

At 3/17/09 05:50 AM, MissingNYC wrote: fucking Bush had to fuck up the economy... and those goddamn greedy banks...

Yet another "ecomonics expert" blames Bush for the economy. Say goodbye to your credibility.

My only NG hero is Evil-Dog because his music is kick-ass.

I'd probably hide in some obscure, rarely used room, like the band pit, wait an hour or two, then sneak out.