Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Sorry, I forgot to mention that none of the original cast will be returning.

THE ARISTOCRATS!

I banged my head on my desk when I read this.

http://www.superherohype.com/news/spider -mannews.php?id=8976

No, just fucking NO!

Listen I wasn't a great fan of Spider-Man 3, but I didn't see it as a franchise killer. Now because Sony wants to rush a product to market they are willing to completely scrap every fucking story we've seen beforehand and decide that we are going to start fresh.

It was okay with The Incredible Hulk because we didn't have 3 fucking movies with characters and a background.

It'll suck. Bottom line. Know why? Because now it's a studio driven product rather than something that is driven by a director who actually cares about the series. This reboot will kill it.

First we get One More Day in the comics and now we have to accept the fact that we have to start all over with reinterpretations of stories we've already seen in 3 other films.

Fuckers.

ARGHHHH!

The fact that you took that from Total Recall means it is unoriginal.

At 1/7/10 05:11 PM, Syztm wrote: I agree with the FFIX one. I beat Trance Kuja, then Necron showed up for no reason at all. You've got to be kidding me..

I really want to find out why Necron showed up.

Well, Final Fantasy VII doesn't have a major plot twist involving villains.

You know who you are fighting through the entire game and he's a straightforward villain and revered to be the most infamous villain in the Final Fantasy series.

Someone explain that to me and why the other ones require this, "Behind the scenes" villain that you don't see until the very end.

At 1/5/10 05:33 PM, knuxrouge wrote: Well, would you rather have a plot twist where you know who's pulling the strings, or the disappointment of everything being exactly what it looks like?

Sounds like you're disappointed that there is a plot twist at all, it doesn't really seem fair.

Well, it stops being original when they do it for every game.

What do you think about that?

SPOILERS.

I've been noticing a trend in the Final Fantasy Series and it has started right around Final Fantasy VIII.

What is the problem? The unseen enemy. Well, the TRUE enemy of the series. The game seems to have a horrible habit of adding an unseen enemy at the very end of the game and in turn make that become the true Villain.

The thing is that it's actually nothing new and has been doing it ever since Final Fantasy IV. So, I'm just going to go ahead and break it down to everyone game by game starting with...

Final Fantasy IV
In the game the protagonist Cecil is facing in turmoil within himself as he has to go out and do the bidding of his King who is stealing crystals from innocent kingdoms. It turns out that his king is being manipulated by the evil Golbez who seems to want nothing more than to than to snatch up all the crystals to become all powerful. He seemed like a straightforward villain and a nasty one to boot especially when he manipulated Kain to fight against Cecil.

This is all good until...
It is revealed near the very end of the game the the villain is not even Golbez at all, but rather Zemus, a Lunarian (man from the moon), who manipulated and controlled Golbez so that he could take over the planet for the Lunarians. Oh yeah, Cecil is a Lunarian and Golbez is his brother.

So what's wrong?
Not too much, but it gets downright stupid when its Zeromus who becomes the very last boss. It's actually Zemus' hatred that is the true villain in this story. This is just silly, but SNES games weren't exactly hailed for their great plot points.

Final Fantasy VIII
Most Final Fantasy games are plot driven with a love story in the mix. This is a game entirely driven to be a love story. Now, you can say that it is an interesting take on an RPG franchise and to an extent it is, but it gets muddled with Sorceresses, GF, War, Gardens and everything else under the sun. This game has way too much going on and the plot suffers because of it. I enjoyed the base love story between Squall and Rinoa, but it gets pretty bad later on.

It starts off with SeeD, a mercenary organization dedicated to eliminating sorceresses, running off and doing what it does best and that is stopping a Sorceress named Edea who has taken power from a dictatorship and seeks to control the world. Seems pretty straightforward doesn't it?

This is all good until...
We find at the Edea isn't actually the villain at all, but in fact a sorceress named Ultimacia who possesses her and has the ability to compress time.

FUCKING COMPRESS TIME!

The main villain, who you never see until the very end, seeks to control a girl who can do something I can't care to explain. I think she can send people back into the past but only into other people. Something fucking weird like that. Yeah, I told you the plot gets complicated.

So what's wrong?
A lot of things. I had to go ahead and accept the idea that now the main characters are fighting a enemy that they can't even see. We have to accept that notion. It just gets downright stupid when we figure out that every character in the damned game actually grew up in the same orphanage, but just forgot each other because they use GF (summons).

Oh and when you actually get to fight Ultimacia it looks like you are going to fight Lady GaGa.

Final Fantasy IX

This one irritated me a lot because of what it did at the very end and it never explains to you how to play Tetra Master. Never. Its also a mini-game that serves no purpose. At all. At least in VIII you had an incentive because it gave you rare items.

So the plot follows a thief named Zidane who steals a princess named Garnet because her mother, the queen, is getting power hungry. We later find out that her mother is actually being manipulated by a power hungry mystery man named Kuja who, for some reason, wants to see all nations fighting each other.

This is all good until...
We figure out that both Kuja and Zidane were created by a man named Garland from a world named Terra because of some plot point that is actually quite confusing to explain. Think a little like Goku from DBZ, but retarded.

Kuja finds out he has a limited life span and decides that it is high time to fucking kill EVERYTHING!
He rationalizes this by saying it isn't fair for everyone else to live if he dies. A little silly, but it gets stupid because when you get to the final moment and are about to fight Kuja a thing called Necron appears out of nowhere.

Necron proclaims that he's been observing Kuja for a long time and decided that existence is just silly and he shall just make everything not exist anymore.

So what is Wrong?
FUCKING EVERYTHING! You can't have us battle a person and be built up for a final battle and all of a sudden go, "PSYCH! Fight this guy instead," 'cause that is what the game did. It threw an all powerful being at us at the last minute and it had no point to the plot at all.

Final Fantasy X

Yup, Final Fantasy X has one too. As happy as people should be thinking this plot is straight forward it does manage to give you typical FF twists. They tend to be interesting despite the whole, "Tidus is just a dream" thing.

Tidus is the main character of this game and has gone 1000 years into the future (we are lead to believe) and has to face up against a giant fish thing known as Sin. Sin kills a lot of things and people pray to this thing called Yevon who teaches everyone to not have technology.

Along the way you also have to fight a man named Seymour who went batshit insane and decided that the only way to help people would be to kill them all.

That's all good until...
We figure out his father, Jecht, is actually Sin. Okay, I can buy that for some reason. Typical to Final Fantasy style this one throws you a curve and says that the final boss is a weird amorphous thing named Yu Yevon. This guy created Sin as revenge for the attack on Zanarkand, but went insane because of all the power he used.

So what's wrong?
Actually nothing really. I usually hate the idea that I'm fighting an enemy I don't know about until the very end, but this one managed to implement it well enough into the plot.

Now if we could only do something about those damn voice actors.

It's winter.

It's supposed to get cold.

At 1/3/10 09:11 PM, Aigis wrote: This isn't a review.

You're just recounting the plot.

Wait until I get to the end.

What's more disturbing is the fan art dedicated to this one section in the game:

http://pfcdn.net/site/t/content_image/im age/77/32/77329__final-fantasy-vii-fanar t-cloud-crossdress-wall-market-costume.j peg

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs38/f/2008/3 41/c/e/Final_Fantasy_VII___Cloud_by_Kite _Mitiko.png

http://grza.net/GIS/Cloud%20Strife%20&%2 0Vincent%20Valentine.jpg

http://grza.net/GIS/Cloud%20Strife%20Dre ss.jpg

http://img34.picoodle.com/img/img34/3/2/
19/f_la29ae628f0m_c9379e8.jpg

GAAAAAAHHHH! MEIN EYES!

I'm making a series of games to review and I've decided to start with the iconic Final Fantasy VII series. Say what you will about it, but it was considered to be the best in the series.

Yes, I know it has been review to hell, but I figure this would just be a great way to start my series. I am also open to suggestions if you guys want me to review any others. All though I really just want to touch up on classic games the newer ones are fine as well.

Also, I only review the stories, not the game play.

Final Fantasy VII
Possibly the most over hyped game in the series Final Fantasy VII takes toll in the hearts of all video game nerds in the world. Recently there has been haters coming out discussing their distaste for the game, either from actual hate or it being too popular for their cool. Whatever the reason the game is still played, cosplayed and loved by millions.

That's Millions with a MUH!

Hell there are people out there reinventing ways to play FF VII so it provides more of a challenge for them. One of them includes a LLNIIENACMO challenge. This stands for LOW LEVEL/NO ITEMS/INITIAL EQUIPMENT/ NO ACCESSORIES/COMMAND MATERIA ONLY CHALLENGE.

YES! People actually challenge themselves to see if they can beat the game just like this and have competitions that take place in their parent's basement. There is something to said about a person who plays FFVII so much that they have to challenge themselves to make them game interesting during the next play through.

errr...not that there is anything wrong with that if you play Earthbound.

Okay, so our game starts with some glowing stuff and a closeup with what looks like a long face raccoon.
http://darkdiamond.net/wp-content/upload s/2007/05/WindowsLiveWriter/MagicEightba llFFVIIRemakeForTheDSAskAgai_95FE/aeris_
dead%5B5%5D.jpg
http://www.manataka.org/Raccoon%202.jpg

We continue our story by a bunch of revolutionaries named AVALANCHE (a named for which we are never explained) who come up and kill what looks like my 6 year old nephew got hold of blue play-doh and made odd looking men with guns. They move into a reactor that supposedly sucking up the life force of the planet and causing it to go dead. Exxon-Valdez has made its way into the video game world.Only this time the company's name is Shinra.

The blow the reactor to shit and a racially incensitve depiction of Mr.T ends up yelling at our protagonist who needs to look in a mirror at some point and realize he's got the worst case of bed hair. They run for it and he bumps into raccoon girl who's real name is Aeris...or Areith depending on which translation doesn't piss of the fans.

Spiky-dildo head (named Cloud) buys a flower from her which causes an OMG PLOT PROGRESSION HAAHAA HEE HAW! He then escapes the play-doh soldiers and jumps on a train Indiana Jones style while Mr.T proceeds to yell at him more using symbols instead of actual words. Maybe Cloud would be more receptive he actually used letters.

Cloud moves on to the slums of Sector 7 in a huge city known as Midgar. I'd like to break for a moment to let everyone know just what this city really is. It's a huge city where people live on the upper levels, known as sector's, are actually suspended by plates. Not only that, but they are barely held up by a central pillar that are all rigged to explode if so decided by Shinra for whatever evil reason they need to do so. You know...because they are evil. Also, there is never any sunlight.

At what point does everyone just actually look at where they are living and think to themselves, "Fuck it, let's move." They don't because everyone living in this universe is retarded. I also find it really hard to believe that there is a mega cooperation out there that essentially controls the government and everyone around that.

At least that doesn't happen in our world.

Cloud meets up with Tit's McGee and we learn that they used to be childhood friends. Tit's flirts with Cloud and he ends up breaking down in some sort of debilitating depression about some bullshit I don't care about. She obviously wants him, but he is too stupid to realize that Spandex Jugs wants to fuck his spiky ass. I swear their relationship is almost more annoying than that depicted in the Twilight saga.

Almost.

Cloud sleeps before the next big mission and they go blow up the next plant...onnnnlllyyy....it doesn't happen. Cloud defies the laws of physics and crashes through the Flower Girl's new sun roof and onto some flowers effectively breaking his fall. Remind me next time I go sky diving that if my chute doesn't open I should just aim for the next flowery meadow so I'll come out unharmed. They talk for a while and they end up acting like kids as she "hires" him to be her bodyguard.

What does he get out of it? A date.

He takes Aeris the God of War back to her moms house where some plot points happen, but not really important ones. He sleeps (alone) and finds out that Tifa has been kidnapped by some fat womanizer. In an effort to break her out Cloud does the only thing a real man can do. He dresses up as a woman and goes in there in attempts to get the fat man to sleep with him instead!

WAIT!? WHAT!?

So the only real way...and I wish I could forget this...for Cloud to save Tifa is to go out and convince the womanizer to dress up as a girl and sneak into the mansion. Because that big fucking sword obviously lost it's use at some point in the game. What proceeds the scene of him going into the mansion is by far their weirdest mini games ever.

All of which include Cloud bathing in a hot tub with a lot of strong naked men to get panties, Cloud trying on expensive dresses, Cloud squatting a lot with gay gym members to get a wig and getting perfume from whores dressed a bees.

The reward for going out of your way and getting all top notch items will be the fat womanizer actually picking you...for some reason. To make the game hilarious go ahead an play along the entire time. The scene that comes after just kind of seals the deal on a the level of ridiculousness this brings the game.

After, the scene that nearly had no point except to get Cloud in a dress we find out that Shinra is going to blow up Sector 7 in an attempt to get AVALANCHE once and for all despite killing thousands of paying customers. MUAHAHAHAHA! Evil company is evil.

They get to Sector 7 just in time to...

TO BE CONTINUED! MUAHAHAHA! EVIL COMPANY IS EVIL!

I voted for Gordon Brown.

It's time to bring the british back.

I am really really hungover and don't remember much from last night.

I decided there needs to be a topic dedicated to those who are just hungover and need a support group.

We feel your pain brother.

I am still verry verry drunk.

and hitting on girls i cna'r gt
HA{PY NEW UEAR {ASS PIT

Why does he have a boner?

What would your proposition be to fix the system? More competition?

That's just asinine. All it really does is let those companies make more money without any real change in the corrupt business practices in place.

Oh and by "previous conditions" I mean retarded things like a woman being denied coverage because she didn't file that she had chlamydia or various other minor things. I don't mean, "Buy in right when you have a disease".

Some companies won't let people have insurance because they lost their insurance due to losing said job. Had an serious illness during said job. Get another job and now can't get covered because of "previous conditions" or it will cost more.

Oh well, doesn't matter.

You believe the sole reason of the insurance company should be profit. I honestly don't believe insurance companies should be around for profit. That people should pay in for how much something costs.

At 12/25/09 01:02 AM, SadisticMonkey wrote: 99 times out of 100, regulations will increase prices

Some (although minimal) regulation of the health insurance industry may be necessary, but not in order to reduce prices

Yeah, because that is panic inside of the company with worry that they will no longer be able to gain profit, but even if the costs go up the benefits need to outweigh the price hike.

Things that need to be done for insurance companies in terms of regulations:
-The ability to compete on a national level.
-Your rate doesn't go up if you have to have a major medical procedure.
-Check-ups and minor medical operations do NOT need to cost a cent to the person going in.
-Not covering because of previous conditions is the most corrupt business practice I can think of. Nix it. It doesn't help anyone except lower risks for the insurance companies to pay out of pocket if they can just get healthy customers. Everyone deserves health insurance no matter what.
-If you lose or quit your job you shouldn't be able to lose your coverage.
-Prevention of denial-of-coverage because of arbitrary reasons and loopholes are necessary.

Anyway, this is probably asking for a bit much and I wonder what you may be against.

To be honest I never really thought that the entire health care system in this country needed a overhaul. What I thought needed a overhaul were the industries themselves. For a little while the Democrats had me fooled into the idea of a single payer system that, to be honest, just doesn't fit with this country.

Then they had me sold on the idea of a Public Option which could be horribly difficult to implicate and may actually costs more than getting private insurance. It's not an entirely bad idea, but this country can't afford this at the moment. It pains me to say it, but at better times I don't see anyone objecting this.

Anyway, those are my opinions on what needs to change in the insurance industry. Any objections or compromises?

Nation armies.

PMC's aren't bound by conventional rules of war and there is no set precedent against them concerning the UCMJ or various other international laws.

They are more dangerous than helpful.

At 12/24/09 11:15 PM, SadisticMonkey wrote:
if the statists didn't insist on so much IDIOTIC regulation then there would be far greater competition and the system would be far far better, all without the need for government to run anything

I'm not arguing that the regulations proposed in the bill at hand are right or not, but I am asking if you believe that the health insurance industry needs any regulation at all?

Because if you believe that all they need is just competition then you are incredibly naive.

I own nothing Comcast and am very content living my life that way.

The reason being for what is stated above. Comcast practically wants to charge people for every single channel in their cable service.

By the way, aren't monopolies illegal?

I feel bad for putting up a topic title that reminds me of the days that Neil Cavuto would do so on Fox News just to slyly get his point across by making it look like a question.

However, I actually am asking a question.

It took some time for me to hold off for a little while on this issue because it is such a horrible situation. While man pundits were quick to tackle this issue and quickly call it terrorism I held my breath for a little while and reserved judgment until all the facts came out.

Now we have Congress, and this isn't just Republicans for those quick to jump on that hate bandwagon, as a whole who want to conduct their own inquiry (or have started already I've been a few days behind on the news) on the whole situation while the President asks them to hold off for a little while and wait for the proper law enforcement and military channels investigate it themselves.

You may ask still, "What is so wrong with that?"

Well, quite a few things actually.

The problem with Fort Hood is that somebody fucked up. If it was the FBI who ignored those postings or the military guard at the gate who didn't check the officer it doesn't matter somebody fucked up.

Now that we have established that we have to address what is so wrong with quickly labeling it with terrorism.

Despite he's reasons or supposed reasons for doing this horrible thing Hasan being labeled as a terrorist has put a political bend on a situation that just can't be simply labeled as terrorism. It's a label that, despite some objections I may give, has been put as a narrative by quick fingered Republicans. Who are also so quick to point to everyone else who aren't quick to label as such.

Now that people are quick to label this issue as a terrorist act it has turned this horrible incident into a political goal.

Does anyone really see what is wrong with that? I don't care about what Obama is doing or not Fox News. I care that you actually ask the investigators questions, but instead your pundits are more interested in looking into motives and the political drive that could burn the current administration.

In the end Hasan is being tried in a military court and under 13 Counts of Murder and 32 counts of attempted murder. Notice how "terrorism" doesn't appear anywhere in the accusations.

So in the end...does it really matter? 13 People are dead and they are our own military. I think we've forgotten about them the most.

Oh shit! A parent doing actual parenting!

What a horrible example! They should throw HER in jail.

People are like that.

They can believe in racial rights, gay marriage and all things under the sun, but for some reason they don't believe races should mix.

I dunno why, but that's all there is to it.

At 12/9/09 03:45 PM, MercatorMap wrote: Wait, a 90 degree angle?

His bow should have been closer to a nod of the head and slight lean above the waste.

Shit, 45 degrees is too much.

I agree.

Next time Obama meets a world leader he promptly bow 90 degrees in the other direction and fart in his face.

That's a faux pas not something that will ruin your life.

It's a little hard to enjoy life when the government is able to provide everything for you in exchange for basic civil liberties.

Also, what they provide is bordered on dead basic requirements to survive.

At 12/7/09 04:01 AM, SadisticMonkey wrote:
political correctness IS ruining America, socially at least.

I agree that it can go overboard at times, but I'm not going to say that it isn't necessary.

Again, you have to remember that America is bouncing back from years of racial oppression.

At 12/7/09 04:12 AM, awkward-silence wrote: Congratulations to Stoicish A month and a half later and you are still getting people.

A low slow bow

MAN! I am so good at this.

Fuck your girlfriend while you make the child watch TV.

I've been holding in something important for a long time. I've lived my life in a complete lie. People assume I am entirely one way when in truth my life is different from everyone else.

I really tried to hold it back, but the truth is that I just can't hold it back anymore. I must let the whole world know that I am coming out with this...

*sigh*

Okay...here goes...

I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE GODFATHER!

Phew...

Oh man...that just...that feels great to finally get that off my chest. I felt a big weight on my shoulders have been lifted.

Now that this has been admitted I think I shall go see it...and Part II...

Oh girlfriend! This is going to be fabulous!