Hey, I just talked to Phantom on MSN. I told me to send his message to you all whom thought that it was a fake. Quote:

"Fuck you, you fucking assholes, like you know shit, fuck you, fuck you, and be for ever fucked."

At 2/28/08 11:06 PM, DarthChiken wrote: train us in the way of the zombie (i can help)

Um... wrong thread? If you are asking to join then the requirements are just a few posts above this one. Have a good day.

At 2/28/08 10:46 PM, Mercenary81 wrote: Dont worry, Im not as much of a waste of space as most of the people in the flash forum are, well, not in my opinion at least...

Thank god, someone who is actually intelligent wants to join. I've also looked through your posts, and you do seem promising. Just follow Nomader's little task (or a modified one if a capo overrules this one) and you'll soon be on your way to becoming a NG Mafia member.

We get free liquor all day :D

I had to undergo a kidney transplant in 2004. Now I have three, yay!

I also have cerebral palsy, and also am sometimes mildly depressed.

At 2/28/08 03:19 PM, redroy99 wrote: can i join :)

Hi,

To gain entry to the Newgrounds Mafia, we require the contender wishing to join to make fifty intelligent posts. That means a post that is at the very least two lines in length, has perfect grammar, contains no leet-speak or chat-speak, and contributes to the topic in a positive manner. Example:

"I had no idea you were capable of such a feat. It must of taken you years of training, patience and hard work to achieve something like that. You have earned my respect, and I hope that you will continue to develop your talent."

Since General is a cesspool of fucking idiots, I suggest you go elsewhere to gain your fifty intelligent posts. When you feel that you have completed this task, you may ask a capo to come and screen you. The capos are Boris, Hitman, and Power-Prower. Ghost and Struass may also authorize you entry, since they are the Godfather, and the Underboss, respectively.

Judging from your current posting habits, you like to make short one line posts that are completely pointless. You also like posting crappy anime.

Good luck, and come back soon.

At 2/28/08 08:07 AM, TheSerf wrote: GHOST AT THE BAT

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

I think I just came. Best poem ever.

I've always wanted to get one done that represents my nationality. It means a lot to be to be a Pole, and I really want something on my body to never forget what it means to be one.

I've always come to appriciate what we did for the world and how underappriciated we are, but I won't into a rant about that.

I want to get something like this either on my left shoulder, shoulder blade, or on the bottom of my wrist. (But just the eagle, maybe B&W)

Holy shit, I only joined (officially let in) on page 1133. Wow, I posted like such a fucking dumbass back then. Hitman also joined either right before me or right after I did, but I can't be crystal clear on that. I'm not even here for 400 pages!

It's amazing how some people progress in terms of posting quality, general discussion and thoughtfulness. I still can't believe I posting like such a fucking idiot before, though. Now I can't tolerate MSN speak, heh.

At 2/26/08 02:58 PM, Strauss wrote: ha! you'll be lucky if i even SEE that for the story archive.

You know it was a simple joke, right? Not like that is actually my entry. I'm not even going to participate, since Nomad, Frag, Tangent and Ghanden can kick my ass ten times over with their magnificent writing abilities. I don't even like writing, but if I must for an essay, then I guess I have to.

That's why I feel homicidal in my English class - It's fucking boring!

Ghost's Dilemma

Ghost sat there, drinking his tequila. Something was not right. Struass wasn't around, and he couldn't connect to Trivia's personal wrist computer to see what's up. Suddenly, the door opened....

And Snype shot him in the face.

Teh Edn.

vlol

At 2/25/08 10:02 PM, Fragment wrote: Sorry for the absence guys, this past few days I've been super busy so I didn't have time to log in. I'm almost done with chapter two of my story, so I'll post that tomorrow. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?

DLJ got a badass penicorn signature when you were missing the party. And I apparently have a third nipple on my left shoulder blade since Ghost finally revealed it. I guess I died too much in stories.

And where the hell is Prower in this time of revival?

At 2/25/08 07:33 PM, Phantox wrote: So guys, can I join or is there another form for me to fill out?

Try to redo your plan, but make it super detailed, like where you are going to get food and water, or how you can get more ammunition for your weapons if you have any. It should be real (everyone will go to the gun shop and mall the second they hear the word "zombie").

Also, make a back-up plan in case your main stronghold falls.

5.i dont think i fucked up on my grammer that much other then saying im sorry for makeing a stupidass mistake.

Good. Because I'm about to point out seven mistakes:

1. openion - It's correctly spelled "opinion"/
2. ur - Don't be a lazy fuck, it's spelled "you're".
3. makeing - Drop the e.
4. grammer - Do I see irony? Yes I do.
5. u - Again, don't be lazy, use the entire fucking word, "you".
6. ya - You spend too much time on MSN/AIM. It's "you" or "yes".
7. excellance - "exellence".

i came up with a plan and everything ur just pissed u dont have my excellance

You call that a plan? A blind mentally retarded kid could come up with something better then that load of crap, and use better spelling and punctuation at that. I'm not even going to bother.

HAPPY 400 PAGES ZOMBIES SURVIVAL CREW!

Sure took a while.

At 2/24/08 06:20 PM, DarkLotusJuggalo wrote:

Heh, it all makes sense now, I did wonder a few times as to why Snype was so careless at times but it all makes perfect sense now, its good to know we have a great scientist on our side. :)

I'm not careless. It's just that I don't see the point of extending yourself to your full potential in a mission if you know that you are going to die. That's when you begin to worry about whether or not you're going to make it, which leads to bad xhoices. I know I'm going to die (but Trivia can bring me back) so I go into a mission with my full power, guns blazing.

At 2/24/08 03:16 PM, valium9 wrote: No fabbish crocs?

Hold your fucking horses. If you want a top notch sig, you'll have to wait a top notch while. And no, I won't do it. Patience, it's a virture you don't have.

Hi,

To gain entry to the Newgrounds Mafia, we require the contender wishing to join to make fifty intelligent posts. That means a post that is at the very least two lines in length, has perfect grammar, contains no leet-speak or chat-speak, and contributes to the topic in a positive manner. Example:

"I had no idea you were capable of such a feat. It must of taken you years of training, patience and hard work to achieve something like that. You have earned my respect, and I hope that you will continue to develop your talent."

Since General is a cesspool of fucking idiots, I suggest you go elsewhere to gain your fifty intelligent posts. When you feel that you have completed this task, you may ask a capo to come and screen you. The capos are Boris, Hitman, and Power-Prower. Ghost and Struass may also authorize you entry, since they are the Godfather, and the Underboss, respectively.

Judging from your current posting habits, you like to picture spam, make short, one line posts and be an overall nuisance to the BBS.

Good luck, and come back soon.

At 2/23/08 04:35 PM, PenitentTangent wrote:

At 2/23/08 03:49 PM, Snype wrote:

I know the difference between the two, and I knew what I meant when I wrote it. Besides you're like 14, or at least you sound like it. Grow some balls and write a story yourself and maybe I'll care.

I have been 16 for two weeks, asshole. Take some critisism from a gun-nut.

And Shoot 'Em Up was an alright movie, not amazing, but pretty good.

At least you got the reference.

Nomad, you are currently the top contender for Snype's Biggest Fucking Gruesome Death Award. I did not expect that the bitch would blast my cock full of lead. I bet she's into BDSM.

"They use the exact same cartridge as your rifle. Besides, haven't you ever seen Scarface? Tony Montana got the job done, so will I." Nomad shot back. "So you're going to get shot a million times and fall into the lobby fountain?"

HAHAHAHAHA! It's not about the cartridge the rifle uses, it's about it's shitty gas impingement system, as I'm sure you know. I wouldn't mind it if it used a gas stroke piston like the ledgendary AK family does, and pretty much every other reliable rifle. As MadOgre would say, all you need to do when cleaning the Kalashnikov is to piss into it to rinse it of mud chunks. Win.

Also, it's magazine, not clip. But you damn well better churn out the second / third part to it, or I will come and stab a carrot into your eye.

-Aidan
-Nirvana
-Wienerschnitzel

-Ghost wins.

Nomader, Frag and DLJ managed to take up three pages in a little more than 24 hours, and it took us at least two months to get that much recently. I salute you.

Also, here is how I feel about Fridays.

seisure warning.

At 2/21/08 09:14 AM, Strauss wrote: nevermind everyone, i got the site fixed. everyone should be able to see it now.

Linky-dink?

Is it just me or is Nomad's presence here making everyone want to make bajillion long posts?

I know, eh? We were a sorry ass sleepy bunch for the past like two months, and now that we got good ol' Nomad and Fragment come and stir this place up, we got some life out of this place. They should do this more often.

And I see you're wearing my sig. Yay.

Sweet! I'll check that out very soon, and is it a collection of all the stories or was it set up in the same sense of the Mafia archive where the stories kept were the ones either from a Battle Royale or from someone who wrote a lot?

They're ALL the ones everyone wrote, including mine, believe it or not. That Struass went through hundreds of pages so that everyone's awesome talent could be displayed for all the internets to see.

Extremely hungover with a bad case of the shits. Nothing out of the ordinary though.

Lulz. Stupid drunk. Are you even 18 yet?

Nice! Hell, I wouldn't mind having one to download things from places like Limewire or just have one for storage! XD

Even if this IS the mafia, you shouldn't really talk about downloading shit, because even if we all do it, it's still illegal, and the mods will drag you out of our heavily fortified palace, and rape your ass with a 12" ban-dildo.

At 2/20/08 10:14 PM, Fragment wrote:

All right guys, I'm going to bed but I'll see you tomorrow. I'll also post Part 2 of Rat tomorrow.

YES!

I mean Triv has all the great science and who else here has two fuzzy tails other than Prower? :)

I have the power to be accurate enough to blow a hole in your head dead center with one shot from two miles away, then blast another round through that same place just for shits and giggles.

At 2/19/08 05:46 PM, Nomader wrote:

(I'd love to take any comments, positive or negative.)

Holy crap, I was definetly not expecting Struass to do that. One negative thing though - I never carry shotguns, they just don't cut it for me. I would carry an assault rifle (H&K G36, AK-101) or a Submachine Gun (MP5SD, AK-74U). I will never touch a shitty M16 or an M4 version.

For a sidearm, I would probably be carrying either a Kimberly Tactical (a modified 1911 Colt .45) or maybe a IMI Jericho (Baby Eagle). Never give me a Desert Eagle, because I dispise them with a passion.

But awesome story so far, you wet my appetite for MOAR.

At 2/19/08 02:51 AM, Nomader wrote:

Snype: It's a pleasure, as always Snype. You were one of the people who responded to my collab thing -- I'm sorry about that. Anyways, it's nice to see you again, all that jazz.

ZOMG YAY! I feel important. Great for you to stop by, I was wondering whethe reality caught up or just that you didn't really feel like posting here. What collab are we talking about anyway? Hahah, I seriously do not remember any collaboration effort here, except for either Flash or Battle Royale...

If he was let in (which he wasn't) the member that allowed it would be just as retarded as Mistro's whole family.

Owned.

And Nomad, for your story parts; Cowardly, I suppose so. But it's paranoia that keeps me safe ; )

I'm the one who's cannon fodder all the time! At least I go out guns blazing most of the time, which I like. For once, I want someone to kill me in a way so brutal and hirrific it would make a small child's head explode if they even looked at it. GO!

At 2/17/08 04:12 PM, Hell-Frog wrote: Not bad at all. Tippmann X7, right? Nice gun to mod and perfect for special op games and scenario play. Do you have the e grip with that? And is that a laser sight or a flashlight? hard to tell but it looks like a nice addition!

Oh, definetly. I'm going for the Heckler & Kock G36K look. An egrip would be a great addition to it, once I get the cash for it, however. That little attachment is a laser sight, but I'm looking for a tac light just for looks, really.

OK, my honest opinion, since I play paintball.

I would get the second bolt option. Even if it IS a little bit more stretchy on your wallet, you get the added bonus of having it be an Anti-Chop bolt, which is awesome. I have a Tippmann 98 ACT and I have never ever chopped a single ball with that baby. I think it would be worth it to get the Anti Chop Bolt.

Look what I got for my birthday.

At 2/16/08 09:02 AM, MrTrivia wrote: I highly doubt it. If you meant Benny "Bugsy" Siegel, who was the result of my Google search of "Benny Seguil", then there's no way you could pal around with a guy who died over 60 years ago.

Owned.

Seems like this "Bugsy" guy is some American gangster who reached his high point in crime somewhere in the 30s. Seriously, if you're going to name someone, why don't you name someone current, such as .... hell, I don't know. Most mafia guys are either dead or in prison. Tht comes from the Russian Mafiya and the Cosa Nostra families.

Judging from this guy's posts....

- He has 90% one liners.
- He likes posting pictures of fuzzy little kittens
- Likes to occasionally picture spam
- Asked to join here already once.

At 2/15/08 08:08 PM, JakFro5t wrote: I noticed today that there are no cameras nor motion sensors in the class rooms or the bathroom, the major problem I would have is locks. Sure I've popped a 3 section lock but it took me like 300mins, I was thinking Thermite, burns hot and fast, can burn through a plate of steel, and a frying pan in about 5secs.

WHAT?! Someone has some explaining to do...

*prepares baseball bat to smash in Kurofelis' face because he is in charge of all the security in the Genetics Division*

Wait, that gives me an idea! *goes to steal super monkey so it can bring me beer and potato chips on demand*

My most favourite sweets would definetly have to be Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They are the best confectionary ever invented. I ate like 20 of those yesterday (since it was Valentine's Day).

At 2/14/08 05:36 PM, TheSerf wrote: So if the website is ever gonna be updated, thsi can be added to the long list of things that need updating.

We need to slap Boris in his drunken face so he can get the damn website updated. Or that'll agrivate him and he'll anal rape with with a Kalashnikov. Or throw a bottle full of vodka at my head, which is full. When it smashes and he realizes that bottle wasn't the empty one, he'll start to cry, in which case I'll laugh and run away.

At 2/14/08 01:25 AM, PenitentTangent wrote:

I'm on a Forza hating kick right now because Test Drive Unlimited is still the best drive out there, all Forza is good for is the vinyls. Still, I might try to race you at one point.

<whine> But Forza is a simulation and TDU is an arcade style game! </whine>

I love both either way, if I still had my damn Test Drive Unlimited with me. How the hell did you get that Forza achievement where you have to beat the second place racer by an entire section of track?

Also, the funniest thing about the Forza auctions is that the cars are the most priciest when they have hentai splattered all over them. Damn good artists those people are. They also have no life if they spend hours at a time drawing hentai on a car in a video game.

At 2/14/08 12:14 PM, Strauss wrote: haha, i saw this hentai once where this guy sodomized a woman with a shotgun while he fucked another one, and as he orgasmed, he shot the gun and splattered the woman from the inside out. that was the coolest (and the only cool part) in the movie.

HOLY SHIT I SO WANT TO SEE THE BLASTING PART.

At 2/14/08 08:32 AM, MrTrivia wrote: Change of plans: My boss is trying to fuck me over on days I'm supposed to be off work, so I can't get any writing accomplished until I've sorted this out (which could be weeks).

What a fucking asshole. How low can you get when you're arguing with an employee about the number of days off they can get? Go postal when you can't figure out a solution. Actually, don't - you'll be arrested. And charged with homicide. And you won't be able to do another chapter :(