At 11/18/09 05:00 PM, byteslinger wrote: Duh! If you're going to look for a plane's winky, just check the cockpit!!!!

Or this.

JayJay the Plane SecretEp, by MolotovGlock Type: Movie Rating: Adults Only

: my first secret episode...ah, memories

So, I thought I might as well get this out of the way, since I've been inactive for a good while now.

I'm resigning as the Chief Barracks Officer of the Elite Guard Barracks.

I wish I wasn't, but...my heart just isn't in it anymore, and spending a lot of time on something I don't feel heartily up for only succeeds in making my work sloppy, and I'd rather that not happen. I'm not resigning from the Barracks---just stepping down as leader---so if anybody needs any help regarding the EGB or the things we do (or Newgrounds in general, or whatever), I'm still completely available.

As my last act as commander, I make the following decree.

EagleRock, should he choose to accept it, is again instated as Chief Barracks Officer.
Phantom, should he choose to accept it, is again instated as the Lieutenant CBO.
RohantheBarbarian, should he choose to accept it, is moved from Emergency Command Officer to Second Lieutenant CBO.
And lastly, I will place myself as the Emergency Command Officer, in the event that balrogs kill all of the above.

I've also decided to keep up with the recruitment procedures for now, since scanning the thread a couple times a day isn't time-consuming. Should my inactivity become semi-permanent, EagleRock can choose a standalone Recruitment Officer or whatnot. I can still do the bi-annual EGB rollcall if need be, and can handle any clerical shit regarding officer changes, as well as questions regarding FAQ changes, forums stuff, whatever.

So yeah, better to quit without any major screw-ups than force myself to continue and end up doing everything half-assed. It has been an honor commanding you, and an honor to help fend off the pointless idiocy in the Portal. I'm back to being a soldier, and even if I do leave for good someday, Slash always returns.

*salute*

At 10/22/09 05:30 PM, SupraAddict wrote: Slash, when you make the next update, could you add me back on the roster? I realize I haven't been very active due to school, friends, unexpected events, and soon to be my job, but I check in every now and then to see if I have anything to contribute to this place.

Lizzardis and Ismael92 handle the updates, so yeah, whoever's doing the next roster will add you back on.

In other news...well, I have a feeling I'm not going to be around the EGB much longer. My interest in NG is at an all-time low...not because of anything knocking it down, but mainly because I don't really feel any incentive at all to be active. Hell, I even missed another deposit a couple days back because I completely forgot about the site. Should I decide to resign (or, at the very least, relinquish my power and become a quasi-active normal guy), I'll let y'all know. I'm still keeping an eye on this place.

At 10/15/09 01:08 PM, Outlaw88 wrote: Cap. Lou Albano has passed away. My condolences go out to his family and friends.

He was largely before my time as a wrestler, but I loved the Super Mario Brothers Super Show as a kid (and I've got half the series on DVD now, and watch it all the time). The Mushroom Kingdom is forever in his debt.

Goodnight, sweet prince.

Alright, here are a few updates to the Officer positions.

1. Executive Officers

After some consideration, I've decided to make the following changes. Coop is willing to step aside in the command structure, and since he's a review mod in addition to a long-time EGB'er, he can do so without losing any prestige. So, I'll be moving EagleRock to Lieutenant CBO (and moving Phantom to Second Lieutenant CBO, which isn't a demotion, just a re-shuffling, lol). This way Eagle will take over if I wander off, Phantom will take over if Eagle then goes inactive again, and RohanTheBarbarian will take over if trees fall on all three of us. Heh.

Coop will be given the honorary position of Reviews Violations Officer, which just means that he's our resident review mod, lol. Wouldn't feel right to have one of the oldest members of the EGB out in the cold, heh.

2. Peacetime Officers

Advancement Officer, as some have noted, isn't super-necessary, but it could be a good addition in the future, especially if the NGPD stays locked and we lose that pre-EGB training that NGPD alumni get. For now, it'll stay vacant unless necessary, much like the currently-absorbed position of Recruitment Officer.

Lizzardis will indeed become the Lieutenant Records Officer, as he did a fine job with this month's roster. One little note---Insanimation left, so whoever does the next roster should go ahead and take him off. :-)

As for Portal Violations Officer, I agree with Eagle's recommendation---SlntCobra1 is quite active in the EGB and with spotting rulebreaking stuff, so I'll make him the Lieutenant Portal Violations Officer, working with phantomlassuk to handle the Violations Reporting Desk and the Master Violations List. This obviously means I'll make him able to mod that section of the EGB forums, as well.

If we need any other adjustments or additions, don't hesitate to speak up and let us know.

(continued from previous post)

So, in summary:

1. Individual EGB members are responsible for reporting rulebreaking flash in the EGB and the Violations Reporting Desk, as well as following up by PM'ing Wade should the flash pass.

2. The Violations Officer would be responsible for moving confirmed/passed rulebreaking users and flash to the Master List, deleting them from the Violations Reporting Desk afterwards, and reporting any confirmed and remaining flashes to Wade after each seasonal checkpoint. They should also periodically sweep the lists for any deleted flashes and users and deleting the posts, so the lists remain up-to-date and uncluttered.

The current Violations Officer is phantomlassuk, who is active. Considering the different and more complex role of the position, I'll have to ask if she wishes to continue in the position.

I'm also considering having more than one person in this role, either as a second Violations Officer or as a Lieutenant (doesn't really matter which), since it will require a lot of activity to maintain the lists. I'll help out when I can, but I'm having a hard enough time running the EGB as it is, so I'll take suggestions and nominations for a second officer. They'll have to be decently active, of course.

And if you need clarification on anything, let me know. Some of this sounds complicated, but it's really just wordy. The basic gist for non-officers is simply "you find it, you report it, you follow up with it".

******

As mentioned above, wartime positions aren't currently needed, and with the NGPD locked and NGDD inactive, the liaisons are on hold as well. They can be re-created if necessary.

*****

If there are any officer positions that need to be added or changed, feel free to offer suggestions. There's no time limit for this, so if we need to take a while to decide on something, that's okay.

It's time to begin the Autumn Officer Assessment.

Here's a list of the current officer roles and the holders of those positions.

*****

Executive Officers

1. Chief Barracks Officer: SlashFirestorm
Status: SECURED
Role: The commander of the Barracks, who has the final word in operations, membership and recruitment, etc..
Notes: Despite my relative inactivity in the EGB thread, I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon.

2. Lt. Chief Barracks Officer: Phantom
Status: Presumed Secured
Role: The second in command of the group, and assumes control of the Barracks if the CBO is unexpectedly absent from the Barracks for a month or more. Otherwise, he or she makes command decisions when the matter is urgent (such as beginning recruitment procedures) and the CBO is not present.

3. Second Lt. Chief Barracks Officer: Coop83
Status: Presumed Secured
Role: Third in command, see above position for duties.
Notes: Not purely necessary, but Coop is one of the long-timer members of the EGB, and with his maturity and review-mod-ness, he would make a worthy CBO if a tree fell on me and Phantom got bombed or something.

4. Emergency Operations Officer: RohanTheBarbarian
Status: Presumed Secured
Role: Makes command decisions for the Barracks in the event that both the CBO and LCBO are unexpectedly absent for a week or more. In the event of a longer absence (a month or more), the Emergency Operations Officer may make themselves functional commander indefinitely, and can appoint themselves or another officer as a permanent CBO replacement.

5. Barracks Operations Advisor: EagleRock
Status: Gonna Be Chucked
Role: A purely symbolic position for our long-inactive original CBO.
Notes: I want to chuck this and give Eagle an actual position of power in the chain of command. See comments below.

*****

Peacetime Officers

1. Recruitment Officer: SlashFirestorm
Status: Currently folded into CBO duties
Role: In charge of examining a prospective recruit, giving them the EGB Code of Conduct, and making a discussion thread for the recruit if all requirements are met. Can summarily reject obvious ill-fits, and can summarily accept former EGB members (honorably discharged and formerly AWOL members) with command approval.
Notes: I've handled the duties of the recruitment officer since before I was CBO, and I can handle it easily enough. No need for a separate Recruitment Officer at this time.

2. Advancement Officer: Lotus
Status: Vacant, per the resignation of Lotus
Role: In charge of teaching the Barracks lifestyle to all new recruits who need it. Topics that many new recruits need education on include post quality (both in length and grammar; mercy will be shown to non-native-English speakers), B/P'ing (no mass-protecting or targeting of certain groups), and general sociability. The Advancement Officer can report any problems/concerns to the Chief Barracks Officer to be handled on an executive level.
Notes: Uncertain if this is necessary. Entertaining suggestions regarding editing of this position.

3. Records Officer: Ismael92
Status: Presumed Secured
Role: Keeps and maintains the roster for the Barracks, including membership and B/P statistics. More than one officer can be appointed if needed.

4. Lt. Records Officer: Coop83
Status: Likely Gonna Change
Role: Per above, either through alternating schedule or by taking over when the Records Officer is unable to do the roster.
Notes: Lizzardis, assuming he wants to keep doing this, can have the role.

5. Portal Violations Officer: phantomlassuk
Status: Likely Gonna Change In Some Way
Role: In charge of maintaining a record of all passed flash that are suspected to be stolen and reporting them to Wade. Deleted flashes will be removed from the list, while flashes that remain will be re-evaluated at a later date and either re-reported or dismissed.
Notes: With the much simpler Reporting Desk/Master List, this needs tinkering.

*****

Wartime Officers

None are needed at this time, but with the threatening activity of certain groups and individuals, they can't be wholly discarded. Positions would be responsible for gathering intel on threats, keeping in contact with admins in regards to reporting offenses, and, in extreme cases, infiltration.

*****

Barracks Liaisons

With the NGPD locked, and the NGDD still on indefinite hiatus, the liaisons are not needed at this time.

******************

So, to summarize, here are some of the things we need to take care of.

1. Integrate EagleRock back into the official chain of command. If either Phantom or Coop83 is no longer interested in their position, we could move things around and work him in like that, but if they're both still interested, we'll have to think of something else.

2. Advancement Officer. Since it's empty due to Lotus's resignation, we need to decide whether or not we need this position...and if we do, precisely what its duties entail...and, if that's decided upon, we need to decide on who gets the job.

3. If there are no objections, I'd like to have Lizzardis take over Coop's position as the Lieutenant Records Officer. He's handling this month's roster, and likely will do it again in the future if it goes smoothly.

*****

Portal Violations Officer

Now, we all half-assed the reporting procedures for the past half-year, so we need to streamline and simplify the process. The new procedure that I'm envisioning works as follows:

1. If someone sees a rulebreaking flash, they report it here in the Barracks to be flagged AND at the Violations Reporting Desk at our forums (you must be logged in to view, as it's in a secure section). The post in the EGB and the forums should details on both the flash itself and its author(s).

A. If the flash is flagged successfully, the Violations Officer can add the offender to the Master Violations List in the appropriate category (such as CP, fileswaps, stolen flash, etc).

B. If the flash is not flagged, the person who first reported it in the EGB is responsible for following up and reporting it to Wade. The Violations Officer will go to the Master Violations thread and add the offending user to the appropriate section, and the offending flash to section 7 (Rulebreaking Flash that Passes Judgment) to be examined at the next seasonal checkpoint (Mar 23, June 23, Sept 23, Dec 23), when it will either be purged due to insufficient evidence or re-sent to Wade if we're absolutely, 100% sure (and with the appropriate evidence) that it is indeed rulebreaking.

2. Suspected cases of rulebreaking that are not certain beyond a reasonable doubt should be brought up in the EGB. If it is determined to be innocent, the matter ends there. If it's determined to be rulebreaking, ONLY THEN should it be mentioned at the Violations Reporting Desk. Remember that we err on the side of caution; better to risk letting a guilty flash escape (and sink into the depths of the Portal) than to wrongly flag an innocent user/submission.

3. Cases of CP trafficking should NOT be reported in the EGB; report them ONLY at the Violations Reporting Desk, and if it remains for more than a day, the person who reported it is responsible for follow-up. We don't want to give the sick fucks the attention they crave.

Note that links to the Violations Reporting Desk and the Master Violations List can be found at the Barracks Bulletin Board, and reporting procedures are listed at the Reporting Desk in case you forget. Anyone can report something to the Violations Reporting Desk, but only EGB forums admins and the Violations Officer will be able to edit the Master Violations List, as it's for CONFIRMED offenders.

(Continued in next post, running out of characters.)

It's September 30th, and the Barracks rollcall is complete. These are the results.

*****

The following members will remain on the active roster:

SlashFirestorm
michelinman
Lizzardis
Coop83
Phantom
A-Wahl
KingExodus
Idiot-Finder
EagleRock
byteslinger
SoulMaster71
SlntCobra1
Little-Rena
Fro
RohantheBarbarian
PossiblePancakes
perfect-insanity
idiot-buster
Caraboo
phantomlassuk
Calipe
Porkchop
puddinN64
TheThing
ismael92
KidneyThief
aldlv
silentisdeath16

*****

The following members have resigned due to inactivity or disinterest and will be removed from the roster:

sonofkirk
TheNossinator
lilhunter03
Sentio
SCTE3
SupraAddict
Lotus
DumbassDude
Sir-Nuts

*****

The following members did not respond to the rollcall and will be removed from the roster, until/unless they return and express interest to remain with the EGB:

Shanus
ever-vigilant
DarkSoldier
PantyWipe
Marsupial
Shoopufzilla
HeavenDuff
fc-thun-fan
BenwaHakubi
I-Love-Caitlyn
Zornkatzu
captain-dickhead

*******************

So as you can see, the roster got a pretty deep cut, but it's for the best---the roster will be easier to manage, and we'll have a more accurate knowledge of our forces. If there are any errors or corrections to these results, inform me and Lizzardis (who's doing the roster this time) as soon as possible.

Tomorrow we'll begin the Officer Assessment, where we go over the current officer positions and make any necessary adjustments. We'll also be going over EGB procedures for reporting and handling findings of rulebreaking and abuse, mainly using the Violations Reporting Desk for reporting rulebreaking users/flashes and the Master Violations List for recording confirmed offenders.

Thanks for everyone's condolences about my dog. I'm definitely not alone...anyone who's ever had a pet goes through this someday. I'm just lucky that I had a whole decade and a half with my dog, which is more than a lot of people get with their pets. I wouldn't have minded having another fifteen years with her, though...

In EGB news, everyone remember that the rollcall ends on the 30th. If you haven't replied to the rollcall PM yet, or didn't receive one for some reason, let me know as soon as possible. The following members of the roster have not yet responded:

Shanus
ever-vigilant
DarkSoldier
PantyWipe
Marsupial
Shoopufzilla
HeavenDuff
fc-thun-fan
BenwaHakubi
I-Love-Caitlyn
Zornkatzu
captain-dickhead

If someone haven't responded by the 30th, they'll be removed from the active roster and put on the AWOL inactive list.

Well, I'm in a not-very-chipper mood. Night before last, my dog of fifteen years had a stroke...and yesterday, when it became clear that she was in terrible pain and not going to get any better, we had to put her down. There are few things in a man's life harder than having to bury your first dog...

It's going to be difficult to put any enthusiasm into...well, anything...but I'll keep handling the administrative functions of the Barracks and all, since doing something is better than doing nothing and ruminating on it.

Dammit, though.

At 9/25/09 11:33 AM, KingExodus wrote: Is it me or am I one of the lowest members in the EGB?
I don't wanna be the child of the group if I am and I demand I be respected as everyone else.
Sorry if this is a bit random...

I was a PFC when I entered the Barracks, way back when. Don't worry, nobody looks down on the lower ranks, and over time you'll rank up (as you just did), and new members will join, and you'll gradually move up the rankings.

At 9/25/09 09:20 PM, JimmyDimples wrote: However, I'd like to announce my intent on moving up to the Elite Guard once I qualify.

That'd be swell. Don't worry about it taking a while to get the necessary qualifications---we ain't going anywhere, heh. Keep working at it and we'll be waiting for you.

Sheizenhammer has been accepted into the Barracks by unanimous decision. Welcome aboard! First thing you should do is sign up at our forums. Remember to use your NG alias for sign-up, and PM me with the e-mail address you use to register so I can validate your identity.

At 9/24/09 10:23 PM, michelinman wrote: Also JonnyTheWinnar requested to join as a guardsman on page 1129. He got lost at the bottom of the page though. He's an NGPD member.

Unfortunately, this would be a case of someone we shouldn't allow in at the moment. Massive B/P ratio off-balance, broken whistle, low post quality...Guardsmen don't have to meet all our requirements, but a general level of acceptability, and he wouldn't meet that at this time.

We're offering a chance for NGPD members to have a temporary home, but as others have said, there's still a process for acceptance, even if it is less formal.

It is September 23, and the bi-annual EGB rollcall has begun. I have sent out PM's to every member of the September roster (with the exception of Insanimation and Krev, who have since left the Barracks); I don't believe we've had any new recruits this month. If you did not receive a PM from me, let me know immediately.

After the rollcall is over (September 30 is the deadline), the EGB roster will be far more up-to-date and accurate, and then we'll begin the Officer Assessment---going through the current positions, determining if any positions are not currently needed (or if any new positions should be created), and determine if the current officers can/should maintain their posts.

We'll also be straightening up the EGB forums to ease access and procedure, as well as making it far more clear who is responsible for what in regards to reporting rulebreaking flash/art/etc..

In other news, with the recent (and somewhat controversial) locking of the NGPD, I'd like to remind all Barracks members to keep up their post quality, both here and in other threads. There's nothing wrong with small talk amongst the business, but make sure we don't have whole pages of off-topic discussion; for topics that popular, just make a thread in our forums. And remember, no one-liner posts in the Barracks, and don't make a post solely to mention a stat milestone or upgrade; wait until you have relevant stuff to post and mention it then.

Also, should the locking of the NGPD be particularly lengthy (or permanent), its members are welcome to join the Barracks as Guardsmen until they reach Private rank and join properly, as long as they abide by our rules.

The Teddy-trapped-with-the-Undertaker thing literally made me facepalm. More corny than Iowa.

LET ME OUT LET ME OUT

Damn it, Jeff.

I have a very bad feeling that he will end up joining the tragically-long "dead too soon" list if he and those around him don't take this very, very seriously. You'd think that the length of the list would be all the discouragement you'd need...

All battles with legendaries inevitably devolve into feeble prayers to the Random Number God.

But you know what's worse than the legendary healing itself over and over?

WHEN YOU'VE GOT THEM DOWN TO 1 HP AND PARALYZED THEM, BUT THE BATTLE GOES ON SO LONG THAT THEY RUN OUT OF POWER POINTS AND KILL THEMSELVES WITH STRUGGLE.

I'm sure we've all been there before. You can't even be a smartass and use a Ghost-type to evade it, since Struggle works on them anyway.

A reminder:

On September 23, the Barracks will be undergoing one of its "clean-up" periods, including a membership rollcall and officer evaluations, as well as actually doing some of the things we were supposed to be doing (namely purging and re-creating the violations threads).

I'm currently cleaning up the forums---deleting unnecessary and locked threads, and reorganizing threads to make things easier to navigate. Don't panic if you lose some posts, lol. More information will be given as time goes on.

Also good to see Eagle back. :-D

1. We shall miss you, Insanimation.

2. Congrats to Porkchop for UOTD

3. Shame about what happened to Canas. Hopefully this will be an isolated incident and not the start of another lame-ass account-theft raid. All Barracks members should continue exercising basic precautions, such as having strong passwords, not using simple security questions on e-mail accounts (I prefer using them as a second password), and using basic intelligence regarding phishing.

Thankfully this is one of those "you kinda deserve it if you're stupid enough to fall for it" things. Minimal threat, and no threat to anyone with even the faintest knowledge of internets.

I enjoyed that opening far more than I should have.

michelinman has been accepted into the Barracks. Welcome aboard! First thing you should do is sign up at our forums. Be sure to use your NG alias for sign-up, and PM me with the e-mail you use to register (so I can be sure it's really you registering). I'll then validate you and allow you full access.

At 8/18/09 12:52 AM, michelinman wrote: Yes, I agree.

Alright, I'll start the voting procedure.

Barracks members can go to the appropriate thread for discussion and voting. Remember that you must be logged in to view/vote/post, and speak now or forever hold your peace.

At 8/18/09 05:50 AM, InnerChild548 wrote: I agree to terms of membership and have read the Manifesto as well as the FAQ.

Gotcha.

Same thing as above: Barracks members can go to this thread for voting on InnerChild548.

At 8/17/09 09:12 AM, michelinman wrote: Hey guys, my name is michelinman. I'm 20 years old, and I'm a Pisces. I enjoy long walks on the beach, a walk through the park on a nice sunny day, and a good sandwich every now and again. Yellow teeth are a major turn off. I have ADHD, and I make intricate, random posts that don't correspond with anything going on like this one. I hit private this morning and I'm eager to join the EGB. I've been very active in the NGPD for the past month, and I'll be honorably discharged later today. I'm ready to make the step up and join the barracks now. If you vote for me EGB members, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Look forward to hearing back.

Sorry about the delay, heh. I've been busy with very nerdy things. Commencing stage one now:

Welcome! I'm Slash Firestorm, the Recruitment Officer and Commander of the Elite Guard Barracks, and I'll be guiding you through the recruitment process. Here's how it works.

First, I will present you with the shortened code of conduct for the Barracks, along with links to the relevant FAQ's on our forums. You must read them, understand them, and post here again confirming that you accept those principles. A simple "yes, I agree" will be sufficient. This process serves two purposes:

1) Ensuring that you're not a "drive-by applicant" who asks to join and then never comes back, and

2) Ensuring that you know how we operate so there won't be any complications in the future, such as "wait, we're not supposed to be mass voting?".

After you agree to the code of conduct, the Barracks community will discuss your qualifications and decide whether to allow you into the group. Our requirements aren't too strict; beyond the main qualifications of 2500+ B/P and a Bronze Whistle or better, we'll be looking for sufficient post quality (low number of one-liners, intelligent posts that contribute to the topic), helpful reviews, any potentially problematic flashes, stuff like that. After discussion and a vote, I'll make the final call and PM you with the results. Assuming that no objections are raised, the process usually takes a day or two.

Here is our abbreviated Code of Conduct. Read it, learn it, and post again with confirmation of your understanding. If you can't abide by these principles, say so.

*****

1. Voting fairly.

This is the foundation of the Elite Guard Barracks. All members are expected to give every flash a fair vote, regardless of who made it or what their group affiliations are. We do not target any flash group, not favorably or in opposition; our only enemies are those who break the rules of the site, not those who merely bend them.

Everyone has a different definition of quality, and all members are expected to vote based on what they honestly feel a flash deserves, not on whether they think the flash will pass or be blammed. While Barracks members are proud of their high ranks, and are eager to compete with others, a high B/P score means nothing if achieved through petty point-whore voting, and any member who admits to doing so will be removed from the organization.

2. Stopping Portal abuse.

Numerous stolen, malicious, and unsuitable flash are submitted to the Flash Portal every day, and it is our job to ensure that as many of them are removed as possible. Members are expected to report any suspicious flash to the Barracks, including any evidence or doubts that they might have, and only whistle something if they are sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that it is whistle-worthy.

Just as with B/P, points mean nothing if achieved through inappropriate means. There should be no blind rush to whistle a flash that is merely suspected of wrongdoing; it's better to let an uncertain case go by rather than wrongly whistle an innocent submission. If evidence of wrongdoing is discovered after a flash passes judgment, we can always (and will always) inform Wade of our findings.

In the case of a beyond-reasonable-doubt rulebreaking flash, members are encouraged to share their results with the Newgrounds Police Department and the Newgrounds Department of Defense.

3. Cleaning up the review system.

Members are expected to be familiar with the review guidelines and whistle abusive reviews when they come across them, and report severe cases of abuse to a review mod. Additionally, members are expected to write helpful reviews, offering constructive criticism and remaining civil even when the author refuses to do so. We must set a good example for other Newgrounders, in hopes that they will improve their own reviews as well.

4. Setting an example for others to follow.

Barracks members are expected to post intelligently, contributing to threads rather than merely dropping a one-liner opinion on it. Flaming, spamming, and other ban-worthy behavior is strictly prohibited, and extreme misbehavior will lead to removal from the EGB.

Members are also expected to act civilly towards all Newgrounders. You are expected to be helpful and patient when dealing with newer members, whether simply showing them the FAQ or explaining more complex concepts that they do not understand. Concepts such as fair voting, intelligent posting/reviewing, and keeping an open mind are essential for newer members to learn, and we are just the ones to teach them.

For those with more experience, you are expected to show respect and understand that they may, in fact, know more about Newgrounds than you do, even if you're a seasoned veteran. This applies both to fellow Barracks members and Newgrounders in the general population.

Members are expected to put reasonable effort into any flash or audio submissions, and be careful with who they become Portal Buddies with. We are quite generous with our definition of reasonable effort; examples of unacceptable submissions would be static images, single frames, ridiculously small loops, or purposefully bad music. Anyone submitting rulebreaking content would, obviously, be removed from the Barracks and reported to Wade.

5. Not starting shit.

As mentioned above, the Barracks has no enemies beyond those who break the rules of the site. Our roster has included current and former members of various flash groups, including the Clock Crew, Barney Bunch, and Kitty Krew, and we are open to anyone willing to follow our principles. Barracks members are expected to be civil to others and not start fights, and anyone found to be starting shit with anyone, even if they deserve it, will be removed. You are representing the Barracks with your actions, and if your actions do not reflect our principles, you will not be a part of the organization.

6. Remaining active with the group.

Barracks members are expected to remain reasonably active in the thread, as well as with their duties. Those who are inactive for long periods (months) may be removed from the roster at any time, and rollcalls are occasionally sent out to all members to determine who is active. Members who expect to be inactive for some time due to IRL reasons (such as school, employment, vacation, etc) should inform the Barracks in advance.

*****

In addition to the above, please examine the following materials.

The Barracks Manifesto
The Barracks FAQ

*****

(FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT QUOTE THIS WHOLE GIANT THING)

Taking this to its logical conclusion:

NEXT WEEK, CHAVO GIVES BIRTH TO A HAND.

:-/

the hand proceeds to beat him in a cage match

I'm done for today. There were a few genuinely awesome ones, but the constant B's and such have gotten boring. I got around 200 points, so I'm good.

Indeed, with Clock Day less than twelve hours away, all available Barracks members should be making preparations.

On the topic of B/P points, even a short hour-long run can net you more than fifty points, even if you're voting reasonably. On the other hand, it'll hurt your B/P ratio, but don't worry---with enough B/P'ing, that lopsidedness disappears. I've gone through three Clock Days, getting anywhere from 500 to 800 points each time, and yet my B/P ratio doesn't show it because of the sheer amount of "normal" B/P'ing I've done.

On the topic of abuse, there's a special Clock Day reporting thread set up in our forums. Suspected cases of whistleworthy flash should be reported there for later inspection. Don't feel disheartened if it passes---if it's really rulebreaking, it'll be taken care of eventually.

Bad news is that fileswaps are very likely to pass unnoticed. Good news is that fileswaps are very likely to pass unnoticed. :-P

So yes, everyone, PREPARE YOURSELVES. And if it's your first Clock Day, REALLY PREPARE YOURSELF, and try to limit your save-intake to only mildly insane levels. No one in the EGB will be punished for getting huge hauls of saves on this official NG holiday, but I still encourage a basic level of discretion. As always, watch the flashes (don't just vote without watching). And remember, you get a protect point from voting a 2-5 on a flash that passes, so you don't have to vote five on everything and help skew the scores any more than they already will be...

Alas, I won't be submitting a Clock Day flash this year. Hopefully, by this time next year, I'll have a mic and be able to make an epic masterpiece.

At 8/12/09 11:53 PM, perfect-insanity wrote: A former member, I have been back from a temporary internet hiatus for about a week and have caught up on the latest operations in the EGB. I await your reply

Since I remember you and there are no glaring problems in your history, I'll summarily re-admit you without the recruitment vote rigmarole. Welcome back!

Two days until Clock Day! Prepare yourselves!

At 8/8/09 12:57 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: ****UNSUITABLE FLASH ALERT****

I know this has already passed, but I'm going to PM Wade about it.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/50 6565
Shows a guy jacking off to some knock off of Numa Numa.

Oh, god. The infamous big bag. A rather commonly submitted video in times past (along with...other far more disturbing videos that you don't want to know about). Memorize the file size and you'll have fair warning.

Caraboo has been accepted into the Barracks by unanimous decision. Welcome aboard!

First thing you should do is register at our forums. Make sure you sign up with your NG alias, and PM me with the e-mail account you've registered with (so I can be sure it's actually you), and I'll validate you and grant you full access.

At 8/5/09 10:54 PM, idiot-buster wrote: Is it just me or have we been a bit off topic as of late... about half of the last page was full of conversation about a good breakfast or something. To me this place seems like it is full of meny new members and the old memebers are going away slowly. Because i can say at the begining of the year there were about 4 or maby even more memebers that are really not that active anymore. Alot of the users who post alot were not here posting at the begining of the year.

Partially my fault, as I haven't been as active in the past month or so. With Clock Day less than two weeks away, and the next housekeeping session (including the bi-annual EGB rollcall) next month, that'll be changing soon.

At 8/5/09 08:53 PM, Caraboo wrote: Hmmm, ok well I guess I'll give it a shot, I agree to the terms and conditions!

Alright, I'll start the voting process now.

Barracks members can go to the appropriate thread for discussion and voting. Remember that you must be logged in to view/vote/post, and speak now or forever hold your peace.